you and me, me and you

Did I just call her my girlfriend subconsciously?

"Maraaaaa"

"Mmmmh"

"Wake uupppp, we're here" They said with a smile in their voice

"mmmmhmhmhmmm im so tired"

"you didn't have to come I told you"

"NO" I shot my head up, "No I wanna come"

"C'mon then"

I grunted as I got out of the car, the warm air hit my skin as I felt Bella link her fingers around mine and and pull me along. I wandered behind her, running after her footsteps a little. We got further to the entrance of the set as my phone started ringing, I pulled it out of my pocket and stopped in my tracks

"Zana calling"

I flipped my phone around to show Bella and they met my eyes with a nervous look.

"Are you gonna..answer it?"

"I- No." I shoved my phone back in my pocket and a look of relief fell onto Bellas face. And I felt a look of melancholy fell over mine, but I shook it away before she noticed. She held out her hand again for me to take it, and I took it. But I took it loosely, my stomach was churning with immediate anxiety and I felt weak and shaky. I was spacing out, walking slowly

"You good?" She gripped my hand tighter

I shook myself out of the space out "Yeah" I smiled, gripping her hand back. I looked down towards the ground. I felt weird and tense and bothered, I was scared for how I might act for the rest of the day focusing on these weird feelings. Should I call Zana back when Bella wasn't there? No, I should tell her. But Bella obviously didn't want her to be my friend again, which I got. I wouldn't want my girlfriend to be friends with a girl she used to like who treated her like absolute shit and gave her trust issues while fucking up her perceiving of friendship and love. Okay maybe I shouldn't be friends with her. But she mightve changed. And also I needed friends. But- wait did I just call Bella my girlfriend subconsciously? Did I just refer to myself as her girlfriend? oh god there were too many things to be focusing on right now I don't know who to focus on do I focus on Zana or myself and how I feel about being her friend or maybe how Bella feels or I should foc-

"Amaraaaa!" said a deep voice, shoving me out of my thoughts. Bella tugged her hand away immediately.

I snapped my head up meeting Pedro's patchy beard

"Oh hi" I smiled as he came in for a hug

"How are you? Long time no see"

"I'm good! How're you?"

"I'm gooooood"

"That's good" I smiled

"What've you guys been up to?" He crossed his arms

"Nothin' much," Said Bella. She said it weird though. Like she was hiding something, why did she pull her hand awa- oh he doesn't know. Oh no one knows. Oh shit. Literally no one knows knows, "just been having girly sleepovers and whatnot" she shrugged.

"That's nice," Pedro smiled, "Well, I'm glad to have seen you guys, I'll see you later- Do you want have lunch today"

"Yes please!" Bella said

"See you then Bellie" He said, tousling her hair and walking away.

"Aw, Bellie" I nudged

She smiled "Shut up"

We walked into the small hall, they were just having a table read today I think. Thank god I didn't have to chase four 2000 lb horses around for 5 hours. Bella wandered off toward the table after leading me to a small couch to sit on.