you and me, me and you

Hotel beds can be romantic

I sat on the hard hotel room bed, the generic white sheets with the weird stripes of different directional fabric, the shiny one. Bella was in the shower, I could hear the water hitting the white tile of the shower floor. You know those moments when you're tired, or zoned out and you think really hard about how you know someone - they are a person and you know them. they're real. I was having one of those moments, thinking about how weird and lucky it was that I knew Bella. I knew them, I knew who they were and I knew their face. She had been so close to me for so long, she was right there, the other side of the bathroom door, standing in the shower, washing their hair. The space between the bed I was on and the shower she was in was heavy, and weird. Maybe it was because of the hot steam peeking out from the crack in the bathroom door. I heard them turn off the water, humming to themselves, 'Hm hm hmm'

I got up out of the bed and poured us two cups of hot tea, as I put the kettle back on the stove, I knocked one of the cup off the counter and it spilled half out onto the carpet before I rushed to pick it up. 

'Shit' I whispered to myself

"Hey can I come in? I need toilet paper I spilt tea on the carpet"

"Yeah" She said softly, I walked in as her eyes were focused on the methodical 'drip drip drip' from the tap 

She was in a fluffy white hotel towel, the ones that somehow never stain, and was brushing their hair section by section in front of the sink. I bent down next to her legs to get toilet paper from under the sink. She kept still, brushing her hair. I think I might've snapped her out of her trance when she saw my head pop into frame in the mirror, standing behind her, 

"You okay?" I asked, I put my hand on their water sprinkled shoulder and twisting the tap off so it stopped dripping

"Mhm, just tired" They smiled. Not a real smile, I could tell 

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just tired" They repeated

"I can tell you're not just tired"

They didn't say anything back. I left the bathroom and pulled clothes out of their cupboard, I walked back into the bathroom and handed the pile of folded clothes to them, taking the hairbrush from them 

"Get dressed, I'm gonna do your hair"

"Why?" They looked at me puzzled 

"It might make you feel a little better" I smiled as I closed the bathroom door. They came out a few minutes later and sat in front of my in the middle of the bed. We were silent, I knew that they were upset about something. I didn't know what, I had never seen them upset, I didn't know if they wanted to talk about it. I took their hair in my hand and scaled the brush through it. The ends of her hair curled at the ends into little ringlets and her baby hairs curled too, framing her face. The rest of her hair was wavy, when it dried. I brushed through their deep brown hair, running my fingers through it. I felt their frame relax and heard them sigh deeply into my arms

I rested my chin on their shoulder, "What's wrong"

They sighed again, "I dunno" 

"Is it work?"

"Kind of- I don't know" 

"Hm," I put the hairbrush down, "What about work?"

"I just feel bad sometimes"

"About what?"

"It sounds stupid" They turned to me and said, then moved over next to me 

"It's not stupid"

"Promise?"

"Promise"

"Okay- I just feel bad about..being- Ugh this sounds so dumbbbb" They put their face in their hands