you and me, me and you

The bitch that bites back

"Hey, you mind knocking it off?" they said, that was the first time I heard aggression in their voice

"Zana just go, I get it. I've left you alone, I've done what you wanted"

"You haven't left me alone, you've- I want to be friends with you again" she crossed her arms, looking down to the floor 

I looked back at Bella, then back at her, "Really?" 

"Yeah" She muttered 

"Why?"

"I don't know" 

I didn't know how to feel. I did want friends. I wanted more connection than just one person. But Zana treated me like absolute shit, I was afraid of what she would do if we were friends again. Or if she found out Bella and me were.. I just didn't know what to choose. 

"What about Em-"

"No. We're not friends anymore"

"Why? Because you treated her like shit too?" Bella interjected 

I looked at her, stern

"If you want to be friends again, I'm gonna need time to think about it I- Just go. I'll text you later if I feel like it, just leave" 

"Okay, thank-"

"Leave." Bella huffed, walking back to the stable office. 

I followed them "What's up with you?" 

"She treats you like shit, and fucks up your love life and your trust issues? And she wants to be friends with you? It's fucking ridiculous...," They paused "..but I mean if you want to be friends again, then go for it" They said in a calmer tone 

"I know. She- yeah. I don't know. I do want to be friends with her I think. I don't know"

They sat on a couch, and thought for a bit. I could tell they were thinking. Their eyes were narrowed into a speculative expression behind their glasses. We were I silence for a minute or so, as I span around on the office chair, also thinking. 

"Okay, you know what? I changed my mind. I don't want you two to be friends" They said 

"What? Why?"

"Because. Thats why" She slightly raised  her voice, so I slightly raised mine

"You can't just control who I'm friends with," I stood up and snapped. "She apologised. I just want to think about it"

"No, she treated you horribly"

"So? She could've changed" 

"She obviously hasn't if she lost her other only friend"

"Bella." I said, unsmiling 

"I don't want you being friends with her!"

"I can do what I want I don't even know if I want to be friends with her anymore!!"

We were getting louder between each other, almost yelling. I had never heard her yell, I wasn't scared or upset. I wasn't thinking about the fact I had never heard her yell.

They stood up out of the couch with a stomp, "I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET HURT AGAIN!" 

The room went quiet. Now I was thinking about how I had never heard her yell. My breath stopped in my mouth and my throat went dry. They looked at me with wide eyes, worried, they started walking towards me  

"I'm sorry, I just- I just want to think about it I-" 

"I'm sorry I yelled," They said standing in front of me, "I'm really sorry. You can be friends with her if you want. I just don't want you to get hurt. When you first came here-" They held my hands, "-I noticed you were so.. low all the time. I don't know if it was about her or something else, but after you told me about it that night I-" She sighed, "...I just don't want you to be that sad again, it killed me"

"You noticed that?"

"Of course I did. I notice everything about you, I remember you being scared of eating in front of me a little bit ago. Thats why I ate so aggressively so you'd feel more comfortable- Whatever. Doesn't matter. The point is I'm sorry for yelling and for being so mean" They gripped my hands tighter 

"Its okay" 

"No, it's not. Let me make it up to you. Later"

"No no, it's okay" 

"Nope, you'll be getting a biiiig surprise later. Big"

"Bella- please don't" I smiled. They looked at me like they didn't say anything

"I'm sorry" They sighed, putting their hand on the side of my neck 

I leaned into it, "It's okay. Come do some work with me" I said beginning to walk away, they stopped me, putting our faces close, and touching our foreheads together. Our faces were so close that their face looked blurry. 

I giggled, "You only have one eye"

"Hehehe" They pulled away, hands around my neck, my hands just touching their waist. "I'm sorry" They. mouthed with a slight pout 

"Shh. I said it's okay. I promise"

"Promise?"

"Mhm" I smiled, as I whisked the pout away from their lips with a kiss. Butterflies started jumping, swirling in my stomach, even though I was the one that kissed them

"I keep remembering I can do that now," I smirked, "Now c'mon" I pulled them by their sleeve down the stables. They moved their hand to hold mine. Our shoes clicked as we walked down the corridor of stalls, hay littered and cold. 

"What do you even do here all day?" Bella asked 

"Gross stuff" 

"What gross stuff?"

I walked into a store room and grabbed a few bridles and lead ropes, handing 3 to Bella "You'll see" 

I walked towards Ziggy's stall, opening the door as he shot his head up. I put the bridle over his head and closed the stall. I did this to 5 other horses, then went and put lead ropes on all of them, leading them out and looping the ropes around metal rings on the walls. I went back into the storeroom, picking up a hoof pick. 

"This will probably be a bit gross"

"Why?" They said, crossing their arms 

"Eh, its just a bunch of wet dirt and stuff"

"What is?"

I picked up Ziggy's front hoof and started scraping all of the dirt out of her hoof and brushing the remains of it out

"Mmm yummy" They said

"Yup, do you want to help?"

"I don't know how"

"Here, I'll show you" 

I brought Bella over, having them stand in front of Ziggy's back leg

"run your hand down her leg and she'll pick her hoof up, it'll be heavy though"

They ran their hand down Ziggy's leg, and picked up her hoof. They grunted not expecting hoe heavy the leg would be. 

"Now keep holding it, and pick all the dirt out with the pointy part of this thing. But don't touch that little triangle part, just brush it"

They did what I said and put Ziggy's hoof down, looking up at me for confirmation 

"See! You're a natural!, okay you do Ziggy and Alfie, I'll do the rest of them. Is that okay?"

They smiled wide, proud of themselves, "Yeah"

Sharing brief laughs, we picked out the rest of the horses hooves. I wandered as I did it, what was Bella gonna surprise me with? It better not be big. I started overthinking that it was gonna be something big or weird and public. Or a restaurant date. I didn't like eating in front go people, hence my dislike for restaurants. I tried to think positively. Maybe it was another bunch of flowers. I still hadn't thrown those flowers out. God knows I never will.