I wake suddenly, finding myself in a hospital bed. "Hey, hey relax you're okay." Whip stands and removes the oxygen mask. I can't move my leg.
"What happened? Where's Chap?"
"Do you remember hurting your leg?" I nod, "Well, it's broken, literally the tibia is snapped in two. How the Hell did you even attempt to walk on it? Oh, Chap is fine, he's in his room where we left him."
"Why was I asleep?"
"You passed out and then I carried you to x-ray once they'd splinted your leg. It was obviously broken so they gave you a tiny bit of sedation since you were already out cold and set it. Once they'd finished I went to see Chap and tell him about stuff. He's fine. And then here we are. Ohh and they've taken your back brace off and said it's all good now!" He grins.
"How long?"
"A few hours I think. How much have you been sleeping recently?"
"I never sleep Whip. Would you be able to sleep with the pain I'm in every day? Every few weeks I have a big crash where I sleep for days and that sets me up for more weeks of three hours a night."
"Well we need to work on that then." I shake my head, knowing they can't fix it. "Seriously. You need to trust us, a whole lot more than you do now. You broke your leg and, instead of telling me, you tried to walk on it. That's a big problem to get over."
"I'm sorry but you know my reasons.." I don't want to go through it again. "Can I leave now?"
"In the wheelchair, yes. Chap doesn't want you on the crutches." I find it funny that he uses Chap to make me listen.
"Is he okay? Can I see him?"
"One thing at a time. First, read this. They tried to make me remember it to tell you but the meds have such weird names." I laugh as he hands me a piece of paper which basically tells me to take what I like within normal dosages. It's like a giant fluorescent sign saying 'you know more about your medical care than us'. "Okay, now we need to get you in the chair. Time for a lift." he picks me up before I can protest and places me carefully in the chair. "And now we can go listen to one of Chap's lectures." He grins, "He's actually doing well y'know?" I shake my head.
"You don't understand how easy it is to pretend and to hide things if people haven't experienced it. I managed to hide a broken leg for a while, Chap is hiding how exhausted he is and probably a lot of confusion and pain too."
"Okay, well the fact he can pretend means his cognitive functioning is mostly intact so that's a positive. Apparently he's struggling to sleep a bit..."
"Nightmares?"
"Apparently he won't tell anyone, just says he doesn't feel like sleeping."
"He'll tell me."
"I know. That's why I told you about it." He grins. "You two are sickeningly cute you know that right?" I laugh as we reach Chap's room.
"Brooke!" he smiles as we enter but it doesn't reach his eyes. "How are you feeling?"
"A bit spacey, they knocked me out without my consent!" He laughs softly.
"That was Whip's fault though. We thought you'd be better if it was just done." I nod.
"Thank you." I turn to Whip. "Thank you for all of this. Do you want to go relax somewhere? We'll be okay for a while. Go surf. I can stay here."
"You sure?" We both nod, "Okay well be safe. Don't do anything stupid. Call someone if you need anything." I laugh as we make him leave.
"I'm saying one word. Trust." I sigh, knowing his disappointment will be even worse than Whip's.
"We're not talking about it right now." I shake my head, closing the conversation. We sit in an awkward silence for a few minutes. "Okay. Truth time. How are you actually?" I ask, turning back to Chap. "Wait." I press the button to lower the bed and manage to maneuver myself onto it. "Go."
"Brooke.." I shake my head, forcing him to speak. "It's hard.. It's obviously hard.. Every time one of the guys comes, even Whip, it hurts.. It's going to take so long to get back.. I know I've scared them all, and you, especially with the seizures. And my head feels like half of it is clouds.. You know for a while I didn't even notice the knife wound.. And then I did..." He trails off and holds me closer, kissing the top of my head. "I remember it.." He stutters as I feel him shake. I pull his face closer to mine, watching his eyes move from panic to confusion, before I let my lips graze his. I feel him relax and his eyes become calm.
"We are safe. We are together and we are safe. Do you want to try to sleep some more? I mean, if it helps, we could talk about it but I think you're better just sleeping for now."
"If I'm sleeping, you don't want to be too close.." I shake my head.
"I'm staying right here. You won't hurt me Chap." I make him lay further down as I do and turn to face him. "Right here.." He nods, smiling slightly as he closes his eyes. I can already see him panicking as if the mere thought of sleep brings the nightmares and I do the only thing I can think of. I interlace my hand with his and sing.
"My wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to. Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small. You never need to carry more than you can hold. And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you. Yeah this is my wish." I finish and find his grip has weakened meaning he's in the world of dreams. I have to fight not to follow him so I pick up my phone and text Jake 'I guess you've heard the story now. We're okay here. Please don't let anyone come tonight, we need to work through some stuff. Can you talk to Jesse?'
'Whip said you were getting him to sleep. You need to be careful. Why do you want Jess?'
'Thought it might help us all to talk. We'll sort it later.'
'Okay. Be careful.' I start to reply but suddenly Chap moves, lashing out and mumbling. I need to save him.
