Truth of the Whisper

Chapter Eighteen.

It can't intensify what's not there.

I stared into his eyes, nodding slowly, and taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed that there's something at all. I just thought... "

"That I like you.", Nyshard ended my sentence.

"Yes.", I murmured.

He took a deep breath, and for a small moment, he seemed indecisive, but then he said "You were right about the payment to the Whisperers. It's the reason I bound you. I had to do it to protect you, and by doing so, I did to you, what I never wanted to do to you.", he glanced at my wrist and shook his head "And you will always remind me of that."

I opened my mouth to say something, but something in his eyes stopped me. There was pain in them, and I knew that it was me who caused it. He had to bound me in order to get me free from Phylon, and he hadn't been willing to do it. But he had done it anyways. Tears burned in my eyes, but I didn't make a move, instead, I nodded. "I'm... sorry."

"Don't be."

Biting on my lower lip, I shook my head. "How can't I be? You did so much, only to protect me. And you just keep adding things. And... I thought... I mean, I thought...", I struggled with my words.

"What did you think?", he asked, surprisingly soft.

My shoulders fell, and I found myself not able to look at him any longer. "I can never make that up to you, Nysh. Never."

"I'm not saying you have to, Adriyele. But I still think it's best that you go back to Wyntern Falls.", he said.

I nodded. I would always remind him of the things he had to do because of me. "I will.", I murmured. "But can you... stop being so reckless?", I glanced at his still visible wounds from various fights, at his fading bruises, and my heart clenched violently upon seeing him like that. "Don't go after the Circle members all alone, Nysh. You may not care about me at all, but that doesn't mean that I... I mean... if something happened to you, then..."

"Adriyele, don't.", Nyshard said with a rather commanding tone, which made me flinch, slightly, but I knew I had to stand my ground.

"You cannot forbid me to worry, Nysh. That, you cannot. You said, that you are searching for those who hurt me. Because they hurt me. Stop it. Just... stop it. It wasn't you whom they hurt; it was me. And that shouldn't matter to you. It didn't happen in High Ilryn and it was after I fled from your protection. You have no obligation to take any revenge."

"Adriyele...", he started, but I cut him off, my voice a bit rough, but steady. If anything, I would at least try to stop him from going on like he had those past days.
"No. I'm alive. They hurt me, but I'm alive. This has nothing to do with you, so don't concern yourself with it. That's not your task. That's not your personal revenge. You have no reason to do this, you have no reason to endanger yourself because this has nothing to do with your promise. You're not obliged to do anything like that. You are a Lord, Nyshard. You have other things that demand your attention. What they did to me is of no concern to you."

I didn't see it, but I felt how his blue eyes rested on me. "I can't let them run around freely."

"You can and you will. And if that's the one more thing I have to ask from you, then I will."

I looked at him once more, then I slowly walked towards his door and with my hand on the door knob, I halfway turned around and said over my shoulder. "You know, I wasn't half as angry or desperate because of your binding mark as I expected myself to be. It caught me off guard, but I think, that deep inside I knew, that you might have had a good reason to do this. You had, and I accept that. It's not like I've had my freedom before, right? This doesn't... really change anything, because lately, all men in my life seem to have a say when it's about me. But I? I haven't. Decisions about me and my life are made without asking me. And now, with your binding mark... it will be like that for the rest of my life. But you had no choice, and there's nothing to forgive, Nyshard. This wasn't your fault. You had no other choice."