Truth of the Whisper

Chapter Thirty-Nine.

I still held his gaze, as his words slowly seeped into my mind.

Unrequited love.

There it was.

I swallowed, tried to ignore the burning in my heart.

Unrequited love is something I don't wish for you.

"Alright. Fine", I shrugged my shoulders and closed my eyes for a moment "That makes two of us. But you know what? I don't believe that we have any say about our feelings. We cannot control them – or we can only control them to a certain degree."

"But we can choose to do the right thing".

I huffed "The right thing. Yes. Like telling me, that you don't wish unrequited love for me instead of answering my question directly."

Nyshard removed his hand from my chin and I took a step back, until I was standing against the windowsill. "You cannot lie to me, but you also don't always tell me the truth."
He watched me with a raised eyebrow, shadow of a smirk on his face. But he didn't answer, either.

I nodded and said softly "Okay."

"I cannot answer everything", he took a deep breath and for a moment, he seemed indecisive "Sometimes, I'm not sure if my answer would be the whole truth."

"Sometimes, you're not sure?", I raised my chin defiantly to meet his eyes, but they were hidden in the darkness of the shadows, but I saw his nod. "And sometimes I happen to let you assume things to push you away before you realise that I have not given you a real answer."

Huffing, I remarked "Like you just did."

"But it was also the truth. I wouldn't want that for you."

I took a breath, and a question lay on the tip of my tongue, but I struggled with myself if I should ask it. Nyshard watched me for a moment, then he placed his hand next to me on the windowsill and his warm breath brushed my cheek as he said "And yes, I may have a clue of what that feels like."

Wide-eyed, I glanced at him.

Nyshard had not answered me when I had asked him if he ever had been in love. Instead, he had told me, that I was asking a rather private question.

"Tell me about your dream, please", he suddenly said and I retorted "Why did you check on me tonight?"
Nyshard raised an eyebrow, tilted his head at me and then leaned against the wall to my side "An answer for an answer?"

I nodded.

"I check on you every night when I'm at the castle because of your nightmares."

I bit my lip, wanted to ask another question, but I knew I had to answer his first. "I dreamt about being in an unknown city. And I... missed someone. Then, Phylon came with the intention of bringing me to the King."

Nyshard's face hardened as he took in the information.

"When I asked you to stay with me the night I was drunk, did you only do it, because I asked you to?"

He took his time to answer, then he finally said "No."

Surprised, I blinked and was just about to ask 'Why', when he asked "Whom did you miss in your dream?"

Now it was me who hesitated, but then I nodded in his direction. He drew a sharp breath, but didn't comment on it.

"Do you just think that the binding mark has the effect of a claim on me... or do you just hope so?", I asked and kept my eyes on him, watching every single reaction. He took a deep breath and crossed his arms in front of his chest "The Whisperers hinted to it, so I guess it's possible. But it's a fact that it soothes you, and you said yourself if has a similar tingle like the claim once had. I think it's possible, yes."
Nyshard looked over my shoulder, out of the window into the dark night. He frowned slightly. "Before, you asked about my choice. Mating or binding you. Why did you ask?"