Truth of the Whisper

Chapter Thirty-Seven.

The next morning, I woke up, my head lying somewhere on the right side of his chest, his right arm curling tightly around my waist, holding me close. Slowly, I blinked, but instantly closed my eyes again.

Just a moment.

Just a moment to recollect what had happened the night before, just a moment to come clean with the fact that I was lying in my bed. With Nyshard.

Or... halfway on top of him, cuddled to his side as if we were something other than friends.

By the almighty.

Slowly, my eyes opened up again, and I glanced across the room without daring to move. It was still dim, morning hadn't come yet, I saw the outlines of the furniture, I saw the top of the pile of book next to my bed, and I saw... Nyshard's fingers, that twitched slightly.

His hand lay on the blanket just next to him, and they twitched.
Was he awake?

I'd heard his breathing, but he hadn't said something yet.

Slowly, I turned my heard.

Dark hair, ruffled, fell him into his eyes, eyes, that were still closed.

The serenity of his face, the peace it showed, was stunning. Despite him being fast asleep, his expression was more open than anytime I'd seen him before.

Completely at ease, completely... the corner of his mouth twitched slightly, and I wasn't able to take my eyes off him. Without a cold expression, without a frown of worry, without his mind off to other things, I'd rarely seen him like that. In fact, I couldn't remember any time I'd seen him so peaceful. And so... beautiful.

My protector and the man that had once saved me before I'd been borne, the man that had done so much for me and had never asked for something of me other than just staying were he told me it was safe, not retreating from him or the others, and he'd also told me not to run.

But those three things... I'd done all of them. And he took the blame.

My heart seemed to swell at the memory of Nyshard's outburst of emotions when the Circle members had removed my binding mark. He'd been furious, he had feared for what could happen to me. He cared for me.

As I cared for him.

Deeply.

And maybe for the first time I fully understood, why he wanted to stay away from me, why he insisted that there would never be anything between us, why he chose to bind me rather than to mate me. It wasn't because he didn't care about me or like me.
He did care.

There was something, the binding mark, the claim, something, that had drawn us together. He cared, obviously, but it didn't mean that there was more. At least, from his side.

He would never mate.

That's what he had told me.

Never.

And he refused to be my decay, he would always... always try to not let that happen. I tried to put myself into his position, I tried to think about getting a Whisper which made me believe in love, which hinted to that one and only person. Only, to have that ripped away from me again.

And then meeting that one person, bound to protect, but not to linger. Bound to be there, but afraid to cause death.

Stuck.

Completely stuck.

And I had kissed him... had he just kissed me back because of his first Whisper, because he had maybe just hoped that he could feel something? Something, that wasn't there?