Only You- (Robin Arellano x you)

Chapter 16 - Dickwad

Sunday, 4th October 1976

We stood just before Noah had to go through security in the airport. "So I guess this is it huh." I said looking around, because I knew if I looked at him I would start to cry. "Yeah I guess it is" He said looking down with his hands in his pockets. "Well we can't really put it off any longer" He says looking at me. I look into his eyes, they were welled with tears as were mine. "Come and hug me then dickwad" I laughed as a tear slipped down my cheek as I pulled him close.

As we hugged I whispered into his ear. "Don't go die or something stupid like that. Okay?" I sniffled as another tear slipped out. "I'll try not to" He laughs as we pull away from eachother our arms still holding onto eachother. "Well isn't this the most deja vu thing" I cry laugh, wiping the tears away with my hand. He leans foward and kisses my cheek smiling "Until next time then Ma'lady." I laugh at the old  nickname. "Yeah, as soon as Ma lets me go to Boston, I'll see you." I say with a small smile, I looked over at Frank and Ma. She was saying goodbye to Noah's parents and some of her other friends from Boston who also came to my quince, hugging and crying into eachothers arms. I cringed at the sight, my mother being affectionate was a weird thing to witness let alone feel. And then Frank watched with his dark eyes looming over her every move. Every touch. Every Laugh. Every cry.

"Keep in touch will you" I say to him. "Of course, I'll keep you posted" He said with a grin and a wink.Gossip. I smirk and laugh, "I'll be expecting it at my door." "Noah!We have to go now honey!" His mom shouts. "Coming!" He shouts back. "Oh I almost forgot." He says looking through his backpack and pulling out a sealed envolope. "Don't open up the letter till you get home and I'm gone, okay?" He says. "Oh thank you" I say as he hands me the letter. "But why-" "Just trust me" He cuts me off knowing what I was going to ask. "Okay well, goodbye then Noah" I say bringing him into another hug. "Stay safe you dick" I laugh. "No promises" He retortes jokingly. "Bye El" I he blows me a kiss and runs to the security where his family was. I smile sadly as he runs to them.

The way home was silent, apart from the sound of the driving rain splattering on the window. I drew a pattern in the steam and rubbed it out so I could see outside. We stopped at a traffic light. And an man was standing on the street, and I swear he was looking at me, like he was staring staright into my soul. I got spooked and turned away. But even as we drove on it still felt like something was driving daggers into the back of my skull.

As soon as we got back home Frank went straight to the couch with a beer in hand and Ma sat with him as they watched whatever they were watching. I went straight up to my room, closing the door behind me. I went and sat down on my bed, pulling out the letter from my pocket. I opened the envolope to find pictures and a letter. There were several poloroids from when we were children, some of them were turning blue and brown from age. One of them was both of us hugging eachother. And others were of us climbing in trees or building castles on the sand, or playing in the sea. I laughed at some of the memories from the photos. Then I decided to open the letter, slightly scared at what the contense of it was.

In Noahs familiar neat, curved handwriting started with

Dear Elena,
                    I know you have probably thought about the near kiss that happened at your Quince, but I'm not sure you have thought about it as much as I have. Everyday for 2 weeks after, all I could think about was how your lips almost touched mine. I have loved you since we were children, and the estatic I felt when we almost kissed felt euphoric, like how an addict feels after being deprived of their substance for too long. But thats what you were to me El, you were like a drug, and what I felt in that moment was lust, not love.

I realised I had misunderstood my own feelings all along, and I could never love you romantically, and that I can only love you platonically. In some ways I am glad that Robin interupted because it led me to realise how wrong I was and what misery and destruction it would have caused if we had gone further. I love you El, I'm just not in love with you. I am sorry if this hurts you, and if you feel something for me which is more than friends should feel, but I just can't hide it. Writing this letter now was the best possible way of saying this to you, you know me and words, they get mixed up sometimes.

I miss you lots, Boston hasn't been the same since you left all those years ago.Everything lost its shine and colour, like when you left you took the light with you. I know your Mum won't let you go back to Boston, but if you ever did you'd be welcomed back with open arms, its still a shame we can't see eachother more often than once every 10 years.

I know that something is happening between you and the guy called Robin. I'm just saying go for it you know? Be happy El. Out of anyone you deserve it most. But if he does start to cause trouble, I'm only a phone call away, then I'll catch the first flight and come over there to beat the living shit out of him if you wanted me to anyway. In my opinion I saw a spark between you two. It just needs a little bit of help to get started, thats all. See you in 2 years time I guess.

Love Noah x

I laugh at his comments, tears  are streaked down my face also. He understood though, that our love was platonic, and I'm glad he realised that as well before it was too late. I leave the letter on my desk and go onto the floor under my bed. I take off the loose floorboard and bring out my photo album and my box. I place the letter in the box and begin to place the photos in different dates on the album. 'Summer, 1967' , 'Christmas 1968'... .

When Dad went missing I would spend a lot of time at Noahs house or with him and his parents as my Mum didnt take care of me, and Luke and Josh did the best they could. We would spend christmas together and summer and school. We were literally inseperable. I finished putting all the photos in, I admired my work before placing it under the floorboards again along with my box. I had kept one photo however, it was one of me and Noah eating icecream on the sand while trying to squeeze eachother to death as well, we must have been only six potentially. I'm not sure. Our faces were bright and we were grinning from ear to ear, our cheeks squishing the others. I smiled at it and placed it on my mirror.

(A/n Holaaaaa my darlings heres anorhet chapter, yeh i know guys this book is actually getting somewhere😱 Anyways TYSM FOR 2K READS I LOVE YPU ALL SO MUCH, remember to vote, comment and follow(not forcing) hope you had a great week my loves😘)

-Toby