𝘋𝘳𝘶𝘨 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯

6

𝘚𝘦𝘬𝘢𝘯𝘪 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘯 𝘚𝘮𝘪𝘵𝘩
𝘋𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘴, 𝘛𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘴

I sat on the toilet dazing for a minute. That shit can really fuck you up.

I need to leave this lean and shit alone. All these drugs, all this lean, cutting myself, all this shit just depressing.

I don't need no motherfucka to make me happy. I just need to get my shit together on my own.

I'm tired of this shit.

I wiped my arm off with a cold towel. then put my shit on. I went down stairs and started cleaning my house.

Cleaning is also a way I deal with everything. Cleaning and cooking are my coping mechanisms... other than cutting and filling myself up with these drugs.

I don't ever plan on getting into a relationship because I don't want to get too comfortable with somebody and trust them just to get betrayed.

I been fucked over too much so I keep my guard up.

I still want to figure out what tf is up with shorty.

"Ay Ithan!" I yelled his name. "What nigga?"

"Call your girl and her friend over." He made a gay ass face at me. "Alright nigga."

"Stop doing that gay ass shit, you rubbing me the wrong way."

He called them up and his girl said Tasha might not come.

It's been a whole week since the last time we been over there.

I rolled up a blunt and fell asleep.

-

"Hey wake up." Nigga was whispering and tapping me.

"Ithan get your gay ass on. Always doing some gay shit."

"Bitch I'm not Ithan." I sighed hearing her voice.

"Where Ithan and Hayleigh go?"

"They said they was going to the store."

"And you stayed here to bother me?"

"No. I stayed here because I didn't wanna go. Bothering you just crossed my mind."

"Oh. Tell me why you pop percs."

"Excuse me?" I hate when her ass say that shit.

"You're excused." She side eyed me. "Now if I swing on your ass i'll be wrong?"

"Swing if you want to tuff guy."

Her ass started laughing even though I'm serious asf. "You funny asf talking about a fucking tuff guy."

"Move around. But fr let me know why you pop percs. I'm actually curious."

"Maybe the same reason you drink lean."

"Impossible."

"Can I sit here?" She pointed next to me. I nodded my head yes and she sat down.

"I pop percs because the high I get from them make me feel good. It also makes me forget about my past and it keeps me calm."

"Can I ask what happened?" I seen her body tense up and she started chewing on her bottom lip.

"Well, my mom committed suicide in my face when I was very young, my dad died after that, and I had to live with my dirty ass auntie with a rapist ass boyfriend."

She looked emotionless.

"The worst part is, my auntie knew, she watched him do it sometimes. It always comes back to my head and make me wonder why did it have to be me?"

I rubbed her back while her eyes started tearing up.

Idk how to comfort a girl crying.

"Now tell me, why you drink lean." She wiped her eyes before the tears fell.

I never told nobody about what happened to me. But I kinda relate to her so why not?

"Well my dad died when I was a lil nigga. I took it real hard because we told him leave that street shit alone. Then my blood cousin raped me. I was 8 she was 15. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't talk. Nobody believed me except for my momma." I shook my head and her ass started crying.

"Fuck you crying for?" I mugged her. "Cause that's so sad. You were so young and she's your blood." She wiped her face.

"Toughen up. You wanna go get some food?" She nodded her head yea.

This the first female I've actually got comfortable with. Maybe cause we have some things in common.

We were in the car on our way to zaxbys. "Quan what's your real name? Jaquan?"

"No. Sekani." I said keeping my eyes on the road. "That's a cute name." I looked at her while sitting at a red light.

She's actually beautiful. Her wig leaning a bit. Nah I'm playing.

She actually is very very beautiful.

"Sekani!" I jumped out my trans. "The light is green." I looked up seeing it.

Oh shit.

We got to zaxbys and ordered our food then went back to my house.

"I ain't gone lie, your friend getting fucked somewhere." I shrugged.

She mugged me hard asf. "I ain't need to know allat" I laughed at her face. Her mug looked cute but silly.

"Let me see your phone." She mugged my hand. "No."

So I took the shit from her.

"Sekaniii." She whined. I like how she said that...

"I'm putting my number in it. Shut that whiny shit up."

I save it under 'Sekani' and texted myself so I can have her number.

"You're delusional." I mushed her head. "Shut the fuck up." This lil motherfucka gone hit me.

"I know this lil motherfucka didn't just- I'm finna beat your ass." I folded her lil goofy ass.

"Ok Sekani chill." I should've never told her my shit. She finna keep calling me that shit.