Tubbo angst

2: Jeeze.

After they ate their pasta Ranboo helped clean up their dishes and then they both went back to the living room of their shared space. It was around 7 pm. Ranboo sprawled out of the sofa again and Tubbo sat back down on the floor. Ranboo was fairly tired. The plane ride made him incredibly tired, which was good seeming they would go to bed in about 3 hours or so. "Do you wanna do anything?" Tubbo asked. Ranboo looked at him and thought. "You got cards?" Tubbo said he did and got up to grab them. Ranboo had moved to the floor and Tubbo handed the cards to Ranboo. They decided to play ERS. (yes it's a game look it up😒// it's basically slap jack but with a twist) A couple rounds later their hands got tired because they both went all in. Ranboo won most of the rounds. Tubbo didn't mind. It was 7:30 by now. Tubbo put the cards back into the box and put them back where he found it. Both boys were on the floor not doing anything now. Ranboo layed down on the floor next to Tubbo. Tubbo smiled at him. Tubbo was feeling better then earlier. He was calm. "Could I take a shower? The plane made me feel like gross" Ranboo asked. "Yea! Ofc! You don't have to ask" Tubbo said quickly feeling a little bad he felt gross. Ranboo smiled and got up to grab his clothes from his suitcase. He got them and headed for the bathroom. Tubbo was alone now. He got back onto the sofa. He sat there staring at his hands. His leg was shaky again. 'What if Ranboo hates it here.' He thought. He was trying not to think about it but he was always so worried. He was overly worried now that someone new is here. He thought the living space looked like a mess. He had just cleaned it top to bottom but he swore to himself that it looked like a dump. He got up and started cleaning again. He made sure to clean up both the desks. He swept the floor and cleaned the shelves again. He vacuumed the sofa again. It still felt dirty in the room. 'It looks fucking horrible in here's' he thought. He heard the shower turn off. 'Shit.' Tubbo put the cleaning stuff away. Maybe he needed to shower? Maybe he was the dirty thing in the room? He had just showered this morning. Ranboo opened the door and came back into the living room. His hair was still slightly damp, he smiled at Tubbo. Tubbo told him he was going to shower and grabbed his clothes. He quickly turned on the shower and hopped in.

With Ranboo
Ranboo sat back on the couch and pulled out his phone. He went on Twitter and saw a couple posts from Tommy, Billzo and Aimsey. He checked his discord and he didn't have any new messages. He put his head back on the sofa arm. He took a deep breath. He looked around and didn't see a difference, he heard the vacuum in the shower. He figured Tubbo just wanted to clean it real fast and he let the thought leave his mind. He smiled to himself. He liked it here. Tubbo was nice company. He eventually heard the shower turn off and a little after Tubbo walked out with his hair nice and fluffy. He walked over to Ranboo and he could smell the nice honey colone that Tubbo wore.

Tubbo POV
He waved to Ranboo. It was around 8:20 pm. "Do you wanna do a stream tomorrow? Yknow, to let the people know your here!" Tubbo asked. Ranboo told him he probably would and that he was just tired right then so he asked where he was gonna sleep. "Pull out sofa!" "It's a couch" "it's a fucking sofa you damn American." Tubbo said pulling the cushions off the sofa and pulling out the folded mattress. He went to get the bed sheets he had bought for Ranboo. It was an all black sheet with white pillow cases. The blanket was a nice dark purple. He carefully put the sheets on as Ranboo watched. He layed the pillows down and put the blanket neatly on it. Ranboo loved the sheets and blanket. He hugged Tubbo from behind, placing his chin on Tubbo's head. "Thank you bo. It looks adorable" Ranboo said. Tubbo could feel himself melting into Ranboo's touch. He didn't get many hugs from his family because he felt awkward about it. 'OFF' Tubbo's thoughts came back loud. That was another reason he was touch starved. His mind would yell at him and tell him he didn't deserve getting touch. He quickly pulled away from Ranboo and said "you're welcome!" Tubbo smiled and climbed the ladder to his loft. Ranboo got into bed and Tubbo turned off the lights.

⚠️⚠️!!!TW!!!⚠️⚠️
Ranboo plugged his phone in and headphones into his phone for music. Tubbo felt like crying suddenly. It was a cry he wasn't exactly going to avoid. His eyes started watering. He looked at Ranboo who had headphones in and couldn't hear him. He decided just to get it over with and cry. He curled up and cried. 'Hah loser. Your pathetic' Tubbo put his head on his knees. He looked over at Ranboo. He fucked up his US sleep schedule to not have jet lag when he got to the UK. Tubbo felt bad. He didn't really know why. He kept crying. He wanted to stop. He couldnt, instead he started overthinking again. He felt as if he was going to throw himself into a panic attack again. He didn't want to. He wanted to sleep. 'What if Ranboo really can't sleep and can hear' his breathing picked up. He covered his ears. The quiet room was so loud. He rocked back and fourth. He was still crying. He couldn't stop. Everything was so loud for him. He couldn't breath. He needed something to ease it. He didn't want to self harm while Ranboo was here and he sure as hell didn't want to do it the same day Ranboo got here. He looked at his clock. 9pm. Jeeze it was so early. He carefully got out of his small ball and shakily walked over to his drawer. He looked for his b̶l̶a̶d̶e̶.̶ He slowly rolled up his sleeves. He sat on the floor. He was propped up against his bed on the opposite side Ranboo could see. He carefully took the b̶l̶a̶d̶e̶ and slashes his arm. It hurt but the voice started to die down as he did more. His arm was bleeding pretty bad by the time he was done. All the pain was now in his arm. He carefully put the b̶l̶a̶d̶e̶ back and went into the bathroom. He grabbed bandages and wrapped his arm up. He got done and finally went to sleep in his bed.