Tubbo angst

12: im sorry..

Tubbo POV
I hugged Ranboo as I cried. It felt safe. His broken arm got in the way of him somewhat holding me but I didn't care. He was so warm and I felt so safe. He didn't pull away. He didn't stop holding me. This is what I was needing. Just a good hug. It's stupid but it helped so much. I was warm. I was so cold and now I was warm. It felt nice. Ranboo's embrace felt nice.

I stopped crying. But then I stopped feeling. I pulled away and felt my stomach sink. I had really grasped what happened. He saw me. How was I so stupid? I thought. "You alright? " he asked. I tried to muster the slightest bit of a faked smile. "Yea, sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me" I said. I was suddenly very tired. "Alright.. Please tell me next time you feel like this. I don't want you going through something like this alone or even feeling like your alone." He said. I nodded and got up. He got up as well. I got super dizzy when I stood. I stabilized myself with the sink. Ranboo walked out of the bathroom and so did I. I went back to the couch. I couldn't keep myself up right so I fell onto the couch and passed out.

Ranboo POV
Tubbo went back to sleep on the couch next to me. I put a blanket on him. I didn't know how to really help him. I pulled out my phone. I opened Tommy's text messages.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ That one guy ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Ranboo:Hey Tommy
Tommy: heyo
Ranboo: how's it going
Tommy: good, I'm hanging out with Wilbur right now
Ranboo: ah okay nvm then
Tommy: ?
Ranboo: was gonna see if you wanted to play a game but have fun with Phil, tell him I said hi
Tommy: ah okay sorry mate, he said hi back

Well that as a waste. Now I didn't know what to do. I had just witnessed my bestfriend purposefully harm himself. How am I supposed to act like that's normal? I know I can't tell anyone but I cannot keep thinking about it. I looked over at tubbo. Maybe napping was a good idea. I got up and pet tubbos head as I did. I had to get him to his bed so I could have mine. Problem was, my arm. I could totally pick him up before but I had a broken arm so now I couldn't. I didn't wanna wake him up and since he was on my bed I just decided to go on his. I climbed the loft and snuggled into tubbos bed. I wasn't that tired but his bed was comfy so I closed my eyes.

When I woke up tubbo was on the floor beside his bed that I was on holding my hand crying. I immediately woke up and asked if he was okay. He said he was, he just didn't want to cry alone. He said he didn't know why he was crying. I could tell he was scared of something. It was something with his eyes. They looked like they were hiding a scared expression. I got down the his level beside the bed and held him again. "I'm sorry. I don't want to take advantage of you being nice but I don't want to do anything right now and I know I will if I don't have someone to stop me." Tubbo had never been this open. "You're not, it's alright. I'm happy to help you whenever. I know things get tough. Having another person helps. If you wanna talk about what's been going on we can if it'll help you feel better at all." Tubbo just sat there after that. "Not.." He paused. "Not right now please." He said. "Just whenever you want, doesn't have to be right now, doesn't have to be in 5 hours. It's whenever you feel comfortable" I said. He nodded as he whiped his eyes. "I don't wanna be awake right now.." He said sadly. "Then let's take another nap" I said pulling him onto his bed. He layed down and I tucked him in. I started my way to the loft stairs when he told me to come back. "I wanna cuddle if that's okay with you." I smiled at him and crawled into bed. He layed on my left side and quickly fell asleep. I played with his hair as I looked at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and fell back to sleep.

Ranboo POV
I woke up to Tubbo being gone. I looked around for him and got up again. I went down the loft and found him in the kitchen. He was drinking water out of a mug. I went up to him and stood next to him. "I'm sorry about what you saw. I really am. I didn't expect myself to pass out like I did. You shouldn't have been subjected to that. I'm sorry I didn't say anything. I don't know how to. I don't know how to fix myself. I don't know what is wrong with me." He said abruptly. He was sad. He was trying not to cry. "It's not your fault. I knew a little before hand something was up. I've seen it before. It's not good you passed out and it's not good in general you hurt yourself. I know times get rough and I know it can seem like that's the only way to get around certain feelings but I promise you there are other ways." I turned to him and he looked at me. "And I wasn't subjected to it. I went in because I care Tubbo. If I didn't I would have just left it alone. I wanted to make sure you were okay. Just like I do now. I know it's hard to tell someone when you need help. Especially if it's something like that. You can't fix yourself because there is nothing wrong with you. You just think things to an extreme and you need help evening out those feelings in a healthy way but that doesn't mean something is wrong with you." He looks at me and smiles. Then, he starts crying again.

Author note: Please do not repeat the actions done in these books and if you are or anything like that please seek professional help or just help in general. You all are wonderful individuals and are valid. :]