Tubbo angst

9: found..

Tubbo POV
Ranboo had fallen asleep and I laid awake in my bed staring at the ceiling. My stomach hurt so much and it was hard to think. I got out of bed and went to the kitchen. I used my phone light to see what I was doing. I grabbed a glass of water. I drank most of it. I grabbed some fruit snacks from the cabinet. I finished in the kitchen and went back up to the loft. I layed down and closed my eyes. I slowly went to sleep.

I awoke in a pool of sweat. My nightmare was horrible. I could barely remember but I know it was bad. I decided to forget about it. I got up and looked at the time. 9:32 am. I got up and grabbed a change of clothes. I went to the bathroom to change and saw Ranboo still asleep on the couch-bed. I got into the bathroom and decided to shower as well cause I thought I stank.

I turned the shower off and got out and dried off. I put my clean clothes on and brushed my teeth. I threw my dirty clothes in the hamper and walked out. Ranboo had just woke up and was taking his headphones off. "Good morning" I said to him as I went to sit on the couch part on the couch bed. "Morning" he said yawning and stretching. "Do you want something specific for breakfast?" I asked him. The conversation was very shit. I still felt so bad about the accident. "Nah just make whatever and I'll eat it" he started to get up. We both entered the kitchen and he grabbed a bag for his arm so he could shower.

Ranboo got out of the bathroom and ate the eggs I made for him. I lied and said I ate while he showered. I went to the loft to grab something. I saw my drawer was left open and you could visably see the blade. My heart dropped to my feet. "Hey ran" I said from the loft "yea?" "Did you open my drawer?" I asked nervously. "Yea I accidentally opened the wrong one, did I not close it?" He asked as if he didn't see anything. "Yea but it's fine! I was just wondering" I said quickly taking the blade out and into my pocket. I grabbed the pair of socks I needed and went back to the kitchen.

Ranboo POV
I ate my food and once I was done I decided to go on my phone for a bit. I scrolled through Twitter seeing everyone happy about me being alright and glad beeduo met up. Some were mad at Tubbo for crashing the car but I knew it wasn't in a lot of his control. I posted a picture of my cast with the caption, 'hoping for a fast recovery so I can get back to gaming!' I smiled as I posted it. Tubbo was putting his socks on so he could slide around the hardwood. (Writing this now when Wilbur just dropped an album out of no where. Bro is in his feels 💔🙏) he started sliding around and put on music. I got up and started dancing with him. He looked very happy. His smile was nice to see after the crash. He had been so worried and now he was happy. He was laughing a bit after he almost fell on his face.

Tubbo POV
It was around 11 am and me and Ranboo were dancing around the kitchen. I tried to make myself happy so I wasn't worried about the blade in the loft. My mom suddenly walked in to get the laundry. She laughed at me and Ranboo dancing and left. We were having a good time. While we were dancing my sleeve fell when I raised my hand holding Ranboo's as we danced. I saw his eyes look at the bandages and quickly looked away. I acted like nothing happened and he did too. We kept dancing and I tried to forget about it. Until my mom came back in. "Hey Tubbo are you alright?" She said holding the blade I forgot to remove from my pants pocket. I stopped dancing and stared at the blade. 'How could I forget that? How had I been so careless.' "Yea sorry I'm fine it was there because I had to resharpen it for my pencils and forgot to put it back into its shell." I quickly said trying my best to not look scared. "Alright, let me know if you need anything." "I'm fine mum I would never do that sort of thing" I blatantly lied. I took the blade and my mom left. Ranboo had shut the music off when my mom entered. I went up to the loft and put the blade back into a drawer. I came back down and Ranboo patted the couch beside him signaling me to sit down.

Ranboo POV
I saw the bandages. I know I did. Tubbo's mom came in and asked what was up with the blade in his pocket. I know fully that it was not really for sharpening his pencils. I motioned for him to sit beside me on the couch once his mother left and he put the blade away. He sat next to me and I looked him dead in the eyes. "Tubbo." I said. "Yea?" He replied. "I want you to answer with full honesty. Can you please do that for me?" He looked at me with eyes that were hiding fear. He slowly nodded and I asked, "are you using that blade for self harm.?"

Author note: this ain't 1000 but 🤷‍♂️ clif hangerrrrrr :D