Tubbo angst

8: at the hospital? really?

I practically ran to the bathroom I was walking so fast. I opened the door and went in. It was a single bathroom which was very useful. I looked around in my pockets for the blade I had gotten out of the car right after the crash. I rolled up my pants and think if I'm really about to do this at a hospital. I do it anyways. 1. 2. 3. They begin to bleed. 4. 5. 6. My ankle is bleeding down and I grab a paper towel. I clean the blood up, put the blade back in my pocket and get up. I struggle to walk but I made it back to Ranboo's room. "The doctor said I should be here for about an hour then we can go." I look at the clock on the wall it was around 12 in the morning. "Yeah, then we can sleep" I laughed a little trying to lighten the atmosphere. To me it seemed like he was so angry. The nurse pulled me out of the room. "Yes?" I asked. "So he's going home in an hour. He isn't fully himself but with a good night sleep he should be back on his feet tomorrow. His clothes are on the chair in there as you probably saw. I will come back in about an hour to release you guys." "Thank you" I said walking back into the room. Ranboo was looking out the window. "Ran.. " "yea?" He said looking at me but his gaze was very dazed. "You know your one of my best friends right?" I asked him hesitantly. "Of course." He replied. "And. You know that I love you right?" I said and my heart started to race when ranboo just looked at me. "I love you too Tubbo. You're one of my best friends." He smiled but didn't exactly seem to get what was going on. "Ranboo" I took his hand in mine, "I love you so much and I'm so sorry that this happened. I don't know what I would have done if I lost you. You mean so much to me truely and I'm so sorry I don't say that enough." I began to tear up. "Just the thought of losing you makes me cry. The thought of seeing you dead is one of my greatest fears. That almost came true tonight because of me. It was my fault you could've died. I'm so sorry we went on that drive. I love everything about you and I can't believe I almost lost that. All of this is because of me and I am so, so sorry." I was crying at this point. Ranboo did his best to comfort me but he couldn't do much. I calmed myself down and told him I'd be right back. I went back to the bathroom.

'God I'm such an idiot. Why did I do that. It was so stupid. I'm fucking stupid. No one should see me like that. It's not their problem.' I was freaking out. I was thinking of all the possible bad things ranboo could be thinking of me. Are you supposed to tell your best friend you love them. What if he felt pressured to say it back. I quickly took out my blade again. I unwrapped my arm bandages and cut any possible place I could. I started to get light headed from lack of breath. I washed the blade and put it back in my pocket. I rewrapped my arm bandages and rolled my sleeve back down. I wasn't feeling too good. I hadn't eaten in a hot minute. I felt nauseous. I was going to vomit again. I quickly went over to the toilet and all of what I did try to eat came up and into the toilet. I felt better yet worse. I stopped feeling nauseous but now I was dizzy and light headed. The room was spinning. I sat down and hoped to God it would help. I closed my eyes and after a little I heard someone knock. "O-ocupied!" I quickly tried to say. I opened my eyes and did my best to get out and go back to Ranboos room. I didn't know how long I was in there but apparently it was a while because Ranboo was getting changed into his clothes. "You alright? You were gone for quiet a while" ranboo asked. "Yea I'm alright I just wasn't feeling the best, I'm good now." I half lie. "Alright, the doctors said it's time to go so" he said picking up his phone that survived. "My mom texted me that she's outside so we can go" I said after looking at my phone. I had told her earlier what time Ranboo was getting out.

Ranboo POV
I couldn't remember a whole lot during the crash but I knew my right arm was broken and my head was fuzzy feeling. My clothes are stained with blood from my arm. I got into the car and looked out the window. Tubbo sat in the front with his mom. The whole ride home was silence besides the radio playing. His mom wasn't angry thank god. She was worried tho. Tubbo hadn't exactly gotten physically hurt. He seemed very scared though. I saw Tubbo open his phone. He went onto his camra "smile Ranboo" he said as he took a photo of his eyes and head and me with a broken arm and me doing a thumbs up. He then proceeded to post it on Twitter and explain to his and my community that they weren't gonna be doing a stream for at least a couple weeks because of my arm or until I wanted to. I smiled at the nice gesture. I continued to look out the window until we got home.

We arrived home and Tubbo's mom asked if I needed anything. "No I'm okay, thank you though, I really just want to sleep." I said and smiled. Tubbo walked with me to our part of the house and helped get my bed set up. He plugged my phone in since I only had one hand. "I gotta get changed this shirt is so bloody haha." I say and go grab another shirt and a pair of pants. I went to take my shirt off in the bathroom then realized I didn't know how to put on a shirt with a bent arm. I managed to take my shirt off with one hand. Then struggled to put the other one on. I managed to do it though. I changed my pants which was pretty easy. I walked out of the bathroom after putting my clothes in the hamper. I thanked Tubbo for making my bed and put my headphones on and put my music on shuffle.

AUTHOR NOTE: im starting to get back into writing :D (let's hope this lasts💀)