A Shot in the Dark (Thilbo - Bagginshield)

Chapter 37

When he was a child, Bilbo recalled catching an illness that had left him feverish and delirious. He had spent days in bed with his parents constantly at his side; watching and caring for him as his small body struggled to survive. The sickness had left him in a strange state somewhere between the land of the living, and the world of dreams. He could never tell what was real or a figment of his mind and therefore ended up hurting his parents and himself a few times. It was not until the fever broke and he grew stronger that he was finally able to tell the difference again. It was an altogether horrible experience, and ranked pretty high on his list of 'Really Bad Stuff to Avoid in the Future.'

The longer he traveled with the Nazgûl, the more he realized he was slipping into a state very similar to the one he had when ill. It started out slowly at first, of course, as the wraiths did their best to repress their auras, and were constantly stuffing him with kingsfoil. He was often tired and weak and his headache never seemed to stop no matter what he did. But the longer they traveled on together—the longer he sat with that damn creature behind him—the more Bilbo could feel himself drifting. He began to fall asleep no matter how uncomfortable or ill he was. He thought that it would not have been an altogether horrible experience if his dreams were a pleasant escape from reality.

They were not.

Instead, Bilbo found that his mind was in fact a much worse place to be than traveling with five Nazgûl to Mordor. The twisted irony of it all was not lost on him.

—Tauriel lays broken and bent on the snowy floor. Her ribcage has been ripped open and her heart torn out. Her hazel eyes stare at the sky with a look of horror and pain that will never be erased from her beautiful face—

The Nazgûl behind him pinched his knee. He flinched and jerked away on instinct. When the wraith realized he was awake, it turned its attention back to the horse and trail before them. Bilbo squinted into the distance but could see only the never ending horizon. It seemed their journey was not going to end anytime soon.

—they clean Fíli and Kíli of the blood and dirty and seal their wounds completely. Then they dress them in the finest clothes and armor they can find. They are princes of Erebor and they will be buried as such even if they never got the chance to live as ones—

When he opened his eyes again, he found that the sun was beginning to rise. The Nazgûl could only travel at night and would spend the day resting in deep caves for the most part. He sighed as the wraiths began to make their way to one. He was getting tired of sleeping in the damp holes with only the corpses for company.

—Bard's children cry when they see their father's body. The youngest collapses at his side and shakes his arm; begging him to wake up because this joke was not funny. The oldest kneels down next to her sister and pulls her into a gentle hug as she cries into her hair. His son continues to stand; his shoulders shaking as silent tears streak down his face. When he looks up at Bilbo, there is nothing but pain and accusation in his eyes that he got from his father—

When Bilbo saw the Black Gates, he felt strangely calm. He knew his fate the moment he realized where the wraiths were taking him, and he certainly had enough time to accept it. Death was never a state he feared after he turned a hundred and actually looked forward to the afterlife a bit. It would certainly be nice to meet his parents again, and discover for sure what came after death. Fear of dying was for the young and restless. Bilbo had certainly lived long enough to overcome that particular trait.

—Frodo smiles up at him with bright blue eyes that remind him of a king long gone. His nephew is nothing like Thorin, nothing at all, and yet he can't help but love him just as fiercely. He makes a silent vow then to never allow Frodo to come to harm. He will not fail his nephew as he failed Thorin. It is a promise that he breaks later when he leaves his cursed ring with the only son he will ever know—