A Shot in the Dark (Thilbo - Bagginshield)

Chapter 21

Ori had never considered himself very brave.

Growing up poor and homeless, he had learned what fear meant at a young age. His earliest memory was watching his ma's body being buried in some nameless grave in some nameless village of Men. She had died from a plague that had taken half the village and had nearly taken Ori too. Somehow, he was able to overcome it and get better but his ma had not been so lucky. She had died and left his brothers and him to take on the world alone.

That memory—that fear of watching his ma die and nearly dying himself—stuck with him for the rest of his life. It made him cautious and leery of the outside world, where things like sickness and death was far too common. He had spent a good portion of his childhood hiding away in his room with only his few books and toys for company. It didn't help either that both his brothers encouraged his fear in their own ways.

Ori loved Dori more than he had ever loved his ma, but his brother was overprotective to the extreme. He always warned his little brothers of the dangers in the world, and stressed how important it was to be safe and smart. While Nori had taken this advice as a challenge to get into as much trouble as possible, Ori had taken it to heart that he always had to be careful because the world could so easily crush him as it did his ma.

Nori had too, unknowingly, made his little brother very wary of ever taking a step outside of his house. Ori had more memories than he cared for of his middle brother coming home with a black eye, a split lip, or bruised knuckles. Seeing his strong and fearless brother so badly hurt had simply driven home how even the most powerful of Dwarves could still fall to the wicked ways of the outside world.

With this constant fear of being hurt or dying in the back of his mind, Ori had lived life skittish and withdrawn. He never took great risks, and he never chanced his safety if he could avoid it. In return, his life was very safe and routine. If he sometimes wondered what it would be like to see unexplored lands, then that was his own private fantasy.

Everything changed when he met Mister Baggins.

Bilbo Baggins was the same height as him, but not as nearly densely built as a Dwarf. His wrists were petite and delicate, and he seemed to bruise so very easily. He even wore only two layers of clothes that were so thin he could see the flex of the Hobbit's muscles when he moved. When Ori was introduced to him, he had felt a jolt of sick fear for the small Hobbit that could be so easily crushed. How were they ever supposed to protect someone like that?

Of course, all these impressions were shattered after the troll incident.

It had stunned him to be sure. How could someone like Bilbo—who could not wield a sword and carried around a handkerchief—ever muster the courage to face three trolls alone? If that wasn't enough, Bilbo went on to challenge Orcs, shape-changers, and even a dragon without batting an eye. He was fearless to the point of reckless and so easily risked his own life for the others. Ori could not understand it. Where did such bravery come from? How did he do it every day without ever faltering? How could Bilbo face the world head on with all its horrors and deaths, and yet still smile?

It was perplexing. It was unnatural. And it was also amazing.

Ori did not want to be a coward. He wanted to live like Bilbo did—easily and laughing as he explored the forgotten wonders of the world. He wanted to visit places that he had only ever heard whispers of and discover lands that existed only in legend. He wanted to be brave and strong and able to live his life without being crippled by the constant terror of death.

And if Mister Baggins—who had lost his One and was so small that Ori sometimes thought of him as a bird—could be brave, then perhaps one day Ori could be the same.