Love born from hatred (Year 1)

The hidden masks

I have always been alone, ever since I was an infant I never knew the meaning of love and the joy it brings people. While I have always wondered what it would feel like to love someone and be loved by someone it just is not a possibility for me. No one can ever truly accept another person for who they are and no one would ever accept my darkness and loneliness if they ever saw me for who I really am.

Back in that room and even now in these very halls I roam around aimlessly without a purpose or goal for my existence. I came to this school in the hopes that I might finally get a reason for living and enjoying this life of mine but so far I haven't found it. It is said that human beings carefully craft a mask to fit in with one another and be accepted by people. These people who wear their so called masks don't even realize the true meaning for hiding yourself and the ugliness behind another person's face.

This school is filled with these kinds of people, those who wear masks but condemn others for doing the same thing. They all like to believe that each of them are high and mighty but the truth is, all of them are like one another, weak, pathetic and hypocritical. They all talk behind each other's backs but then get hurt when someone does it to them, they all like to call another person ugly but become shocked when someone has the same opinion on them. Honestly everyone in this school makes me sick no no... people in general make me sick.

I recently learned of someone who shares the same opinion on people as me but she believes that this side of her's is ugly and doesn't want anyone to know about it. If I'm being honest I never expected someone other there to be like me but she is exactly like my. The biggest trouble I have from learning about this side of her's is the fact that now she wants to expel me from this school for knowing her secret. I had hoped it wouldn't come to this but if need be I will get rid of her before she even begins to believe that I can be disposed of like some irritable bug, I hope it never comes to that point....

"Morning" I walk in my class and greet horikita who has a very stern look on her face for some reason that I would rather not bother with asking.

"Hey Ayanokoji may I ask you a question"

"I would rather you don't but it's not like you will give me a choice." I know refusing her is pointless as she will force her questions on me either ways.

"Good observation, now tell me, last night I had happened to be outside of my dormitory and was taking a walk when I saw you with some girl in a park and unless my eyes deceived me which I doubt they did, I'm sure I saw your hand in a place where it shouldn't be on her body." So it was her who witnessed that whole thing I had with kushida last night, I knew someone was hiding behind the bushes a little far from where we were but I doubt she heard any of our conversation.

"Firstly I doubt you just happened to be outside of your dormitory at night talking a walk so would you mind telling me what you were doing so late at night? You wouldn't have happened to follow me and try to but in someone else's private affairs now would you because that would be against the ru- ow" I had been stabbed by a sharp pointy object which now revealed itself to me as a compass.

" I feel like it's best if we leave that subject for another time."

"For another time then." I honestly don't want to talk about this again but it is better than to talk about it now and endure a few more deadly attempts at compass stabbing.

" Good morning Ayanokoji and Horikita." The subject of our discussion walked in the classroom. Kushida came towards us with her usual angelic smile and bubbly attitude. Looking at her I remembered our conversation from last night:

" Now your fingerprints are all over my uniform and if you even try to expose my secret to anyone I will take you down with me Ayanokoji." Kushida told me this with a lot of confidence and I decided to keep the part where I can disprove her pathetic attempt at framing me for assault in a matter of hours to myself.

" Ok sure I won't tell anyone, are we good now?" I will play along to her game in order to see just how far she can take her little act and why. Why can't she accept this part of herself, I know she would exceed anyone in this school if she just learned to accept everything about herself.

"One more thing, from now on you have to become my boyfriend till the end of our three school years at this school. This is the only way I can keep an eye on you for the entire time you are outside of our dorms." I don't know how I feel about being put in surveillance for three years of my school life but I decided to also accept this condition of hers.

"Sure I accept."

Part 1 is finished here, let me know what you guys think and suggest how fast you want their relationship to grow or any comments you have so far on my writing.