Safe Haven | Yuzuru Hanyu

19.

Emma was completely dumbfounded for a few seconds, trying to gather in her brain what the Major had just said.

"We want you to come back."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

No. Not now.

"Sir, I was honorably discharged." She tried to argue.

A few months ago she begged for an opportunity like this but now? Now she didn't want to go back at all.

"We are aware of that, but correct me if I am wrong, you are in full health capabilities after the last mission, right?"

"That's not what I want to get at. Sir, with all due respect..."

"I don't think you understand, Captain Anderson. This isn't a request."

Emma was quite certain that Yuzuru could hear every single thing that was being uttered given his proximity to her and the phone, but nothing could have prepared her for the frown that settled on his face when the Major said those words.

"Sir?"

"Emma, you're being ordered to come back."

"But I am discharged and I have a job. You can't simply tell me to go back."

"We are aware that you're in Japan and already settled everything with your employer."

"But..."

"No buts, we will send you the mission details and everything that you will need. We have too many soldiers busy fighting the pandemic and we still need others on the active battlefield. This health crisis cannot be a threat to our active fights."

Emma didn't know how to react, she didn't want to go back to the army and she certainly didn't want to go back to the active battlefield.

By her side, the man that was also consuming her thoughts was completely still as the call finished. None of them knew what to say or how to react to this.

It seemed like they couldn't get a break.

"Please tell me you're not going." He begged after a few minutes of complete silence.

"You heard the same thing I did."

"Yes...but there must be a way. They can't simply tell you to go."

"It's an active pandemic with an emergency situation. They are allowed to call people out of active duty in this situation."

"Why are they even worried about war when there's a virus around?"

"They only care about money and weapons. War sucks, but I never left because of my colleagues."

"Why did you even enlist? You don't seem the type to make the decision to just go."

"I didn't... I just didn't have any money left, not even for food, and it was easy to get a degree in the army. They paid for everything."

He nodded in response, eyes bright.

"Are you really going?"

"I have no choice, Yuzu."

"I can try to do something, ask my team to look into your options... I don't know, anything that allows you to stay..."

"I will miss you too."

"Emma!"

"Yuzu... It's useless. They can do whatever they want and I have to obey, it's just what it is."

"What about us?"

His words took her completely by surprise.

It wasn't as if she wasn't confident that this wasn't just sex to either of them, but they hadn't talked about what was going on.
Hearing him ask about them with such confidence, without any doubts or fears made a shiver run through all of her body.

Realization hit her hard at that particular moment.
She was completely and utterly in love with this man.

"I don't know, Zu."

"Promise you will come back to me."

"You know I can't..."

"Promise me!"

His tone was unlike anything she had heard from him before. Yuzuru was even more emotional than she was.

"I will."

"And you're not allowed to fall in love with anyone!" He said with a straight face, making her chuckle.

"That's a bit too late."

Emma was sure this wasn't the right time to confess everything to him, not when her departure was just a matter of hours or a few days.

"Don't tell me now." He begged, sensing what she was about to admit. "Don't tell me now when you're about to leave me."

"Yuzu..."

"No."

"But..."

"Tell me when I can hold you again."

"You will forget me as soon as a new hot bodyguard steps in my place."

"Not possible."

"Never say never."

"There will be no one replacing you. You are my bodyguard."

"I can't protect you when I'm in the middle of the desert."

"I don't need protecting when I'm locked inside my house."

"Then why I'm here?"

"You know why..."

They were both emotional, none knowing how to deal with this whole situation.

"Tell me when you can hold me again..."

Using his sentence right back was a way to cope with the tears that were already threatening to spill.

For someone with so much training to look tough, she certainly looked sensitive now.

He hugged her body tight against him.

It was a hidden promise. That they would come back to each other and finally admit the unsaid words. Maybe they could get back at this very moment and realize that it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

The problem was that Emma wasn't confident of her return, as much as she wanted it.

You see, going to the battlefield had never been a problem for her until now, she had even enjoyed the teamwork in the past with all the struggles they had to endure.

The problem, you might ask?

It was that she now has someone to come back to, someone that she wanted by her side.

Looking into his eyes, she couldn't help but notice how much he was trying to be strong and not crumble with the whole situation.

Maybe she could take it as an opportunity to have more reasons to come back alive and well.

Now... Now she just wanted to forget everything that would happen next and enjoy the last moments with him.

"Yuzu?"

"Yes, Em?"

"Make love to me."