Safe Haven | Yuzuru Hanyu

34.

Emma woke up first on the next day and stared at the face of the handsome Japanese that she was currently lying on.

It was crazy to her how he managed to bring all of her barriers down so easily without any questions about whether she wanted it or not.

This had never happened to her, not like it was now.

Before him, she had a few casual flings in the army. She had been, of course, in a world of men. Being one of the only women in there meant that even if she didn't find herself particularly attractive, getting what she wanted when she wanted wasn't that hard.

But it had never been like this.

Never in her life had she found herself desperate for a man's touch and yet, with him, she constantly felt that.

It was almost hilarious that she found this in a man that looked the exact opposite of every other that she had a crush on in the past.

Not only was he incredibly different in terms of looks, but he also had a very different personality.

Yuzuru wasn't afraid to show her his sensitive side, he wasn't constantly trying to prove to be strong. And even with this, he managed to be one of the strongest people that she had ever met.

Emma knew he was hiding his asthma crisis. Her brain still worked as a doctor, even if this was a very different situation than what she was used to dealing with. This was no broken arm or gunshot, but even still, she still knew a bit of the basic.

She didn't know for sure how severe they were, but that only made her concerns increase.

His gentle nature, as good as it was, was also the reason why the federation felt like they could do whatever they wanted and speak to him the way they did.

Because Yuzu would always take it and be polite about everything.

Emma, on the other hand, was entirely different and wasn't the type to stand and watch, as was clearly shown by her eruption of the previous day.

They were contrasting in so many different things, and yet, she found herself completely at peace whenever he was around.

There was still plenty to settle, plenty to tell, and she had no doubts that Yuzu would want explanations about a lot of things, but there was also a lot going on with everything else.

"I can hear you thinking" he muttered in his rough morning voice that somehow always brought shivers to her body.

"Sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? If it is because you're cuddling with me, I understand, otherwise, any other reason is wrong."

Emma smiled and laid down on him, snuggling against his torso happily.

"You're strangely comfy"

"Why strangely?"

"Because you're made of all muscle."

"You called me skinny before if I remember correctly."

"And you are... One doesn't invalidate the other."

"And you said I wasn't strong enough to compete in pairs..."

"Well, love, we both know it was a joke, but still... I doubt you can. You weigh less than a lot of the girls."

"I could probably still lift them."

She raised a brow and fought hard to keep a jealous comment from getting out. Not that successfully.

"Thankfully, you are not competing in pairs so it's not like you need to lift anyone."

It was mild, but the possessiveness was definitely there. Emma didn't want him touching any other woman if she could help it.

And he knew why she said it the way she did.

"I like when you get jealous."

"Shut up."

"No... It reminds me that you're human after all."

"What is that even supposed to mean?"

"I always see you as untouchable. Let's be real, you get shot and act as if it is the most normal thing ever. You get sent to the war and don't even flinch. Sometimes it's hard to believe that you have feelings."

"You're joking, right?"
Somehow the way he said that almost made her feel that he didn't believe her feelings for him. "Haven't I shown you enough to see that I care about you?"

Only then did he realize how his words sounded and he regretted them immediately.

"Not with us. I'm sorry, it wasn't what I meant..."

Yuzu looked almost hesitant as the words left his mouth. He had been working hard to make it possible for her to come to Sendai with him, but it would all be useless if she ended up pissed and decided not to go.

Emma noticed how stunned he was, how afraid of her reaction and she instantly felt bad that she had overreacted, even if just a bit.

"It's fine"

He knew that tone. It wasn't fine, but he had to distract her somehow.

"What were you thinking after all?"

The change of topics seemed like the best option after the stupid conversation from earlier.

"Just the things that I still have to tell you."

"You don't have to say everything at once."

Somehow, the way he said that made her unravel everything that had been accumulating for so long.

The words started leaving her mouth without any control whatsoever and she just started rambling about everything, starting from her entrance to the army, to being discharged and going as far as admiting that this last mission wasn't anything like she expected it to be.

"What do you mean it wasn't like you expected? You were there before."

"No, I wasn't."

Breaking every single rule in the books, Emma gave him a full report of the crazy events that took place in Israel a few months before and Yuzu just listened, no words leaving his mouth for a long time.

"Hold up" he interrupted her after a while "Did you have any mission after Israel?"

"No..." She answered hesitantly "Why?"

"So you're telling me that you've been off the mission for months now and you're only coming to me now?"