Anthem, Silent

Ivy

Do I? 

Don’t I? 

Do I? 

Don’t I? 

…Do I? 

I sat on the edge of the bed, my wide and fearful eyes stuck on the door handle that led out of this room. My heart raced in anticipation, and my body trembled in fear of the thoughts that I was having. Schalk had been gone for some time, and in that time, I fought against whether to up and run, or to stay here. I didn’t know what he had in store for me, and I didn’t want to find out, but when it came to Schalk my wants meant nothing. Only his. I knew that once he walked through that door again, more trauma would come to me. And I also knew that if I got up and ran, far worse trauma would come to me. 

…I don’t.

This was Schalk’s home and there was no way that he didn’t know the workings in and out of this place. If I tried to run, he’d surely find me. It would be so easy for him too. What if it was a test, a trap? What if he was testing me, to see if given the opportunity, would I try to leave him? Schalk’s a deranged man, he could, and would do anything to hurt me to prove that he loves me, or that I’m his. I don’t believe that the man loves me, I think I’ve become some sick part in his game. I wonder how many other women he’s done this to. 

I didn’t want to think about how he would drag Benny in here…what condition Benny would be in…

Oh God…

I do, I decided on a whim, shooting up from the edge of the bed with the speed of lightning as I ran straight for the door. My body sluggishly collided with the door because I was dizzy, “oh no…” I sighed, gripping onto the expensive feeling wood of the door, my hands dancing along it to find the door handle as I closed my eyes, blinking several times to try and restore my balance. I found the door handle with my left hand and immediately tugged on it, and it moved, opening the door easily. 

I didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing, that the door wasn’t locked. It either meant that this was indeed a test or trap, or it could mean that he was so confident that I wouldn’t find my way out of here. Either way, I didn’t stay to think about it. I blinked, hoping that with each second that my eyes were covered in darkness, it would stop the spinning of the world around me. 

I tripped over my own feet, gripping onto the walls, as I let out panicked breaths, trying to run. It felt like it did in horror movies, when the girl is running and stumbling, breathing heavy, terrified, and you know that the killer is lurking somewhere in the shadows and you just want her to hurry up and get to safety. It had that sense of foreboding. 

I kept looking over my shoulder, feeling tears escape my eyes as my legs felt like they weighed a ton, but I didn’t care. I kept pushing myself to run even further, get as far away from here as possible. As I reached the middle of the long hallway with a few doors lined on each wall, I was greeted with a staircase. A drunken smile spread across my face as I rushed to it, grabbing onto the black railings along the stairs and gripping onto them as I attempted to make my way downstairs. I had counted four stairs that I was able to make my way down, but due to my haste and delirious state, my feet tripped and I went down. I tumbled, letting out a surprised shout as I felt myself roll down uncontrollably until I reached the bottom and ended up on my face. I began to cry, raising my head from the floor after a prolonged moment of silence. I looked around me, praying that I wouldn’t lift my head and find Schalk standing in front of me, looking down on me with his dark blue eyes. 

I tried to sit up, but it hurt too badly. I let out pained grunts as I used my hands to drag my weight, along the ceramic tiled floors. My right hand was bandaged, the bandages had become bloody around my palm, reminding me of Schalk and how he had stabbed me with the glass. I cried even more, but grit my teeth, using my left hand to pull most of my weight, as I looked around frantically, looking for a door.