Everyone's Out to Get Me

So I Found This Thing In The Bushes...

-Canon is merely a suggestion. y'all gonna love this one

Imagine the most nervous, stressed and overall psychotic laugh you can ever imagine right now.

Got it? Good. That's me trying to explain how I found this kid in the bushes.

Before you scream and ask if he's okay, listen to me. He was passed out somewhere outside Foxfire. I was lurking trying to find out where on the earth Foxfire was or if it was some disconnected domain you need special access to enter. I got about five miles (what even is a mile?) and tripped over someone on my way back.

You're maybe saying "Sophie, why didn't you leap? Sophie, you literally have a home crystal, what the fuck?" That's a lovely and lowkey traumatic story!

A story for another day; I'm not quite over it yet. Give me an hour to think of some jokes to include in the monologue.

Oh yeah, about that person I found. I pretty much just sat there on the grass until he got up because if would feel guilty if I didn't. We're going to ignore that it's late evening now; I missed my telepathy session and Tiergan's been ringing down my imparter that I barely use. Foxfire must be empty.

Grady and Edaline... Let's just say I'm not entirely confident I know how they feel anymore. They must be worried though.

Enough with the angst; the forest patch kid was waking up. He was mumbling curse words and overall seemed to not notice I was there. At least I'm not the only one who uses notoriously bad language around here. Keefe and Dex are the people who share my energy as of right now. Special mention to Marella.

Adding another person to the list? Well, let's wait and see how long it takes him to realize I'm there.

He rolled onto his back and sat up, planting his forehead in his hands for a good two minutes. 'Why am I observing this guy in uncharacteristic silence?' one might ask. There's a good chance he had some kind of head trauma and I'd rather not surprise him (speaking from experience).

Being found in the bushes by some rando is not fun when the motherfucker just scares you out of nowhere. (Also from experience.)

In the hypothetical situation that I do scare him, he looks like the kind of kid to roundhouse you on reflex. (Maybe I'm projecting.)

In conclusion: I'm good, thanks.

I much rather my head on my shoulders than wedged in the branches of some tree in the middle of nowhere. Is this getting morbid? This is getting morbid.

Okay, fuck it—if he had a heart attack it's his fault for either being so blind or purposefully ignoring my existence. "Dude, what are you looking for?" I asked. He's been looking around for about twenty seconds before I lost my patience.

"I was wondering when you were going to say something."... No. He's too calm. I will not take my own medicine from a bush boy with actual silver in his hair. I refuse.

"Excuse me for trying to be a little considerate, damn." He just casted a glance at me and went back to searching for his whatever-he-was-looking-for.

As I was about to say something incredibly distasteful, he waved a hand and a bag came flying towards him.

Lowkey respect because he's the first elf to actually use their God given talents.

"Skipping too?" I tried to strike up a conversation. My recent friends-making streak will not end today! If only the little shit would respond.

...Is this how people used to feel about me in high school? Holy fuck, I was annoying.

"I'm not skipping. I'm guessing you're from Foxfire—in that case please leave me alone." At least he said please?