Star Wars: Balance of the Force (Anakin Skywalker Redemption)

14 - Beating Hearts

When Vader awoke a second after the blast, his suit was screaming with warnings and scans from their surroundings.

The X-wing was circling back around to their position, and his TIE had been blasted to nothing. Beneath him Padmé wriggled, and he pushed off her, batting out the flames that had caught on her jacket sleeves.

Her eyes widened at the ruined TIE, but she didn't say anything, instead listing her head to the side the way she did when receiving a comm.

Vader's cape was ablaze and as he flicked his hand, the flames winked out. He got to his feet reaching out with the Force to capture the X-wing when Padmé shifted behind him, once again levelling her blaster at him.

He only turned to look at her, hurt registering in his chest, though he knew she still did not know who he was. So Obi-Wan had kept his secret. Perhaps Ahsoka too.

'Did you kill him?' she asked, her face twisting with something like grief.

Vader waited, confused as to who she was speaking about.

'Anakin,' she said. He froze, thinking that he had been wrong about her knowing his identity, when she continued, 'Did you kill Anakin Skywalker?'

Anakin Skywalker is dead. It's what they had always said. Vader and Palpatine had hidden any potential tie to Vader's past, buried it deep or killed it completely.

Yet here was his past, staring him right in the face, blaster at the ready. Her children likely not far away. Their children.

If Anakin was dead, then where did Vader fit? He was the Emperor's creation, the Emperor's enforcer, the Emperor's apprentice. He did not love, did not fear, did not question, did nothing but serve Darth Sidious.

But if Anakin lived, then that meant everything Vader had done...everything he was... How could Anakin look Padmé in the eye? Obi-Wan? Ahsoka? The thought of begging for their forgiveness enraged him, his attachments had made him weak, it was what everyone always said.

Yet, Anakin had been happy too, the memories of nights around campfires with his clones, drinking bitter whiskey with his former Master, teaching his apprentice to deflect blaster fire. He had loved quiet nights in a penthouse apartment with his wife, dreaming of a better future, a better galaxy.

Could he have that again? For so long it had seemed so far away, so distant. Vader's life too ruined. Vader was too ruined.

He had worked so hard for so long in his attempts to bring Padmé and his lost family back from the dead, but now it was not them who needed saving, but himself.

Did you kill Anakin Skywalker?

'I don't know,' Vader said.

She frowned, clearly not expecting such a strange answer, when her head listed slightly and then she dived backwards from him.

The X-wing came in for another pass and this time Vader did not move, only planting his feet as the earth around him turned to dust.

Speeders sounded nearby, and he shot out a hand, forcing the dust backwards in time to see Padmé speeding away on the back of a speed-bike. She looked back at him, and their eyes met for a split second, before they shot away for good. The X-wing did not make another pass, instead flying back towards the city.

For the first time in years, as Vader watched her leave he felt...nothing. No fear or anger or hatred, no simmering rage to drive him onwards. He felt empty.

The Force still encased him as it always did, but right now it was quiet, as if waiting in anticipation.

Choose... it seemed to whisper to him. Anakin or Vader.