the reality of brutality TOKYO GHOUL FANFICTION Amon x akira

wow rude much

Eventually I was led to my new cell, in fact I had a roommate. It was a woman, perhaps 25 or so, a little older than myself. She had thick black hair and a scowling face.

"If you sleep in the bed I'm going to kick your head in," she snarled as soon as we were left alone.

"Then where am I supposed to sleep?" I asked dully, I was exhausted with everything and didn't need this shit.

"You think I care? No sleeping on the bed or I'm ripping your scalp off." Normally I would have reacted with vehement hostility but I was beyond tired. Obediently I walked to the corner of the room and laid down facing the wall, resting my head on the clothes I had been issued. "You look like shit," the ghoul continued. "Did you live in a cesspool?"I ignored her. She continued to hurl insults at me, what the fuck she didn't even know me or even my name. I curled tighter after 15 minutes of hearing her spew hate.

"Shut the fuck up," I finally spat. She stared at me with hatred.

"What the fuck did you say?"

"Leave me alone."

"Know your place, trash." Jesus, this was awful. I managed to fall asleep somehow but was woken up in the morning for counting. After that I sat on the floor again.

"When do we get let out of the cell?" I asked. She narrowed her eyes at me.

"Are you fucking stupid? They never let you out, you think this is some human prison with rights? Fuck no, we're animals. Let me guess, they told you you're in here until you get your trial? Guess what, that's fucking bullshit, you will never get a trial." My eyes widened.

"What? That's illegal!" I gasped. She laughed hard.

"You think I'm saying that to intimidate you? It's the ugly truth, I've been here for 5 years, lived in this fucking cell for 5 fucking years. Never stepped outside one bit all that time, never got a trial," she laughed. "We're ghouls, you think the laws apply to us? Those are for humans, you ever see people get reprimanded for keeping livestock in a cage? We're the same way."

"What's the point in even being incarcerated then?" She laughed harder.

"You're so naive, I feel bad for you. You think they feed humans to the ghouls they keep locked up? They feed them ghouls. And guess who those ghouls are? You and me. The SSS and SS ghouls they need to keep alive and interrogate need to eat," she cackled. Oh god.

"You can't be serious," I said in complete shock.

"Sorry honey, I'm being 100% honest, I swear on what little sanity I have left." I was a CCG investigator but my field did not pertain significantly to the incarceration and prosecution of ghouls, so I had no idea how cruel and heartless they treated their prisoners. Wow. So now I was definitely going to die. I hugged my knees to my chest, ha, the irony of a CCG investigator being killed by the CCG themselves! Maybe it was best if I went insane like my roommate had, the reality of this was too twisted to bear. I stayed huddled against the wall for the next hours, playing my mental game and trying with my best effort to keep from going hysterical. My roommate who turned out to be named Isabel paced back and forth and talked to herself. Most of her speaking was incoherent so I couldn't decipher her conversation. Occasionally she would stop and count the dimples on the cement walls. I couldn't imagine living like this for 5 years and more, oh god, I would go completely mad, the thought was too agonizing to think of.

Eventually someone came and put rations in our cell. My stomach dropped at the sight of it, it was coffee and ghoul flesh

."I can't eat that," I said. "That's disgusting." Isabel sneered at me.

"Good, because I was going to rip your arm off if you ate yours anyways, my cell, my rules and my food." I wondered if there would even be ramifications if she actually did rip my arm off. I didn't want to find out. Perhaps if I was more healthy and mentally strong I would have asserted my own dominance, but I was weak and fragile in all aspects, forcing me into a perpetual submissive role.

I used my time to fantasize about Amon, had it really been 2 months? 3 months since the beginning of the debacle our mission was. I wondered if he got a new girlfriend. I hoped he had. I was no longer the strong, confident and intuitive person I was when this started and we fell in love. Perhaps it was appropriate that my name wasn't Akira Mado anymore, the real Akira died a long time ago. Had I really changed this much? The recollection of my former self was a total juxtaposition to who I was now. I used to be strong, fierce, reliable, confident, composed and intelligent. I wasn't any of those anymore. All I was was numb and guilty. It was my idiocy that brought me to where I was now, it was my fault my death was inevitable. It was my fault I would never see Amon again. I never thought about the future much before this, I was content with the repetitive cycle of my life. Now with the reality that I had no freedom to decide my future I yearned for greater things in life. I wished I could travel the world with Amon, I would have liked to visit America at one point and seen all the cats there. I wished I had taken up hobbies to enrich my life, I don't know - anything? Played an instrument? Did yoga and hiking? Maybe joined a book club? Got into clubbing and tried butt chugging and anus golfing? I realized how unfulfilled my life was.