the reality of brutality TOKYO GHOUL FANFICTION Amon x akira

reluctant apology

Socrates once said that the unexamined life wasn't worth living. Perhaps that was true in his time, but the contemporary age is now an age of profound information! The truth has never been more accessible and widespread, exposing ourselves to the lifestyle of others and becoming aware of their struggles and being able to fathom the significance of statistics and documentation has never been easier. Despite this I was incredibly ignorant and so are many people. Ignorance is a malignant plague abetting horror, destruction and intolerance, and very soon I would come to realize how truly devastating it is.

How could I empathize with what I perceived as a primitive mindset? A life revolving around the gluttony of synthetic euphoria and accumulation of riches unable to be spent other than perpetuating their greed? A life neglecting education and pursuing nothing but self indulgence. I didn't exactly have a purpose in life either - my only incentive was completing my duties as efficiently and thoroughly as possible, then making it through the subsequent responsibility and the next in a perennial cycle. I couldn't understand what drove a person to follow such a corrupt moral code, and perhaps that was my biggest hindrance - being unable to predict your enemies through empathy can be crippling when given such precarious circumstances. I couldn't comprehend the lengths people would go to to achieve their desires, how willingly they would sacrifice every aspect of themselves, and thus left me oblivious to the dangers of this mission.

I woke slowly from my fuzzy stasis, vestiges of a dream fading into the progression of time. Where was I? My head still throbbed and I felt horribly bruised and sore, the other parts of me where I had been injured also pulsated with subtle electric pain. I quickly realized I was in a bed in our rented apartment. I was alone, the bare walls jaundiced with age seemed somewhat confining and menacing, especially their lack of windows.

I was wearing the same attire I had worn during the fight. I laughed suddenly, seeing that Amon had not taken my pants off to directly treat the wounds on my legs, but instead opted to wrap bandages around my pant legs. He was so awkward and considerate it actually made me blush. With effort I made it to my feet, stumbling slightly with each precarious step, my legs aching and weak from sleeping in a curled and tightly hunched position. I met Amon in the kitchen area, he was cooking something meticulously on the rusted stove. To my presence he turned to me with genuine worry.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, thank you." I suddenly felt ashamed at the fact that I was beaten unconscious by such a trivial ghoul, that was truly pathetic. As an investigator I should have anticipated the ghoul's following action instead of acting on an impulsive whim. What a despicable error on my part.

"What happened to the car and the ghoul? You couldn't just leave a bloody corpse in the middle of a secluded parking lot. This mission is important, but not something I want to get arrested over," I said in a monotone voice with traces of sarcasm.

"I buried it," he replied. "And the car's in a repair shop I surprisingly found nearby."

"How did you explain the damage? I forgot to feed the cat so it had a bitch-fit and smashed a 2 foot hole in the ceiling?"

"I didn't tell them anything," he answered seriously. "I'm not obligated to explain myself to anyone.""

Well, that is true," I agreed. "So now what?"

"We gather information. If it was that easy to lure some sleazy drug addict it can't be hard to come in contact with that sort of thing."

"How long have I been out?" I asked, a stupid question because obviously it had been a few hours if it was dusk, but I couldn't help but ask. 

"It was evening when we were in the car before the attack, so around 3 or 4 hours."

I looked at him meekly suddenly, becoming serious.

"I'm sorry for troubling you. It won't happen again, Koutaruo Amon." The words felt bitter on my tongue as they were familiar, something I had said that time I got drunk. Another time I had been a pathetic nuisance. We sat down to have dinner when suddenly the door was smashed open.