Poetry

you dont love me.

You know me like the back of your hand,
You recite my quotes like you're my biggest fan,
But when you say you love me do you?
Or are they just words you hope are true

My interest are written off as predictable and boring,
You tell me my collections are abnoxious borderline hoarding,
You express regularly what an idiot I am,
And then inside me love just seems so crammed.

Like you're trying to mold a friendship to what it's not,
Because in love one takes interest you're not a passing thought,
You say how much I mean to you and yet keep me at arms length,
And wonder why I've walled off and reclused with loss of strength.

You say let's get married I want this forever
But if I ask to sleep beside you you begin to feel tethered,
Arguments you said you want to mediate,
Turn into things you truly do not appreciate

And I wonder as you sit in seemingly apathetic gaze
What part of this constitutes love from this maze
Because to me love is something set fire
Where hands to touch and hearts to hold is your desire

And love is so much more than comfortable silence
But passion, understanding, empathy so intense
I want my heart to race when you walk in the room
For a spark to ignite your presence sending me over the moon

But it's not that at all I'm sorry to report
And when you say we're forever I'm at a loss of retort
Because it's not that I don't love you I just don't in that way
Maybe if we'd taken things slow things might have been different today

But we didn't and retrospect is twenty/twenty
It's not something you've done wrong believe me you were plenty,
I just don't see compatibility regardless of my care,
You and I are just to different and I want something beyond compare

You are so kind I have nothing cruel to say,
And if I'd realized our differences maybe it could have gone some other way,
But I didn't and I'll take the blame for that,
And just as always for you I'll always come to bat.

Because I don't want to lose your presence in my life,
However I understand if you must go I want to cause you know strife,
I just can't be your lover and give you heart as you want,
Because between us there's no romance it's to daunt.

We're like roommates who share in the lifelessest of kiss,
Like best friends in a room there's something we miss,
I'm sorry if this hurts you it's not my intent
But these thoughts persist and will not relent

Because I tried to swallow it push it down deep
Because you're wonderful and kind the type people should want to keep
But I feel you deserve better than to be a second best
You deserve to be someone's everything above all the rest.

But you can't be mine because we're not a match,
I'm sorry I didn't catch on sooner I know we're attached,
But as you like to remind me I'm a dumbass plane and simple.
Maybe from this mess some silver lining might just ripple

I hope so for your sake you deserve to be happy
But I can't be the one to do it even if that sounds sorta sappy.
I hope you'll understand and someday you'll see.
You're better off this way if you're not forcing yourself to feign loving me.