BSD Oneshots

Dazai and the Pain Meds (Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, Yosano, and Ranpo)

(A/N: this is a request by Kamiko_1234 and what happens here is Dazai has to take pain meds and some of his co-workers experience the side effects. Without further ado, enjoy!)

Dazai had recently got injured courtesy of jumping off a bridge into a river, so as a result Yosano had prescribed him some pain meds.

...She would later come to regret that.

Dazai being Dazai and all, he insisted that he needed to stay home since he was injured.

"And whose fault is that, hm?" Yosano had asked when Dazai had announced that.

"Yosano! That's so mean." Dazai pouted.

"Is it? Or am I just being honest?"

"She's not wrong, you know," Ranpo spole up, walking into Yosano's office.

Dazai pouted more. "You both are so mean. I need someone to be on my side here."

Kunikida was the next to walk in, and he looked a bit concerned. "Is Dazai ok?"

"Oh, he's fine. You know him," Yosano replied.

"At least someone cares about my well-being," Dazai said, still pouting.

"Good, good." Kunikida walked over to Dazai, the concern leaving his face and being replaced with sternness. "Osamu Dazai."

Dazai grinned. "Yes, Kuni?"

"Don't you know how worried we were?!"

"...Sorry."

"It's fine, but just remember we all care about you."

"I know."

Kunikida patted Dazai's arm as some of the sternness left his expression.

Atsushi walked into the office, also looking worried. "How is he?"

"I'm fine, young Atsushi," Dazai announced.

Atsushi smiled and ran over to him. "Mr. Dazai! You're ok!"

"Indeed I am."

"Good thing, too. And yet he still insists he needs time off from work, as if he even works in the first place." Yosano shook her head.

Dazai gave the doctor an exaggerated sad face. "Yosano! I just unfortunately survived another attempt only for you to be mean to me?"

Yosano scowled. "I'm not being mean, I'm being honest. You don't even work when you're here and you have the nerve to ask for time off?"

"Kuni, Ranpo, young Atsushi, do you see this slander?" Dazai turned his exaggerated sad face to his aforementioned coworkers.

"She does have a point," Kunikida replied.

"Yeah. A really good one," Ranpo agreed.

"Atsushi! Why does everyone here but you hate me?" Dazai clung onto his younger coworker and fake cried.

"Erm..." Atsushi awkwardly patted Dazai's head. "I'm sure they don't hate you."

"Yes, they do!" Dazai kept fake crying.

Ranpo sighed. "You're so dramatic."

Dazai pouted. "Am not."

"Uh-huh. How is it that we have such opposite coworkers? One hardly works and the other works too hard," Yosano commented.

"Such opposite sides of the coin they are," Ranpo added.

Dazai was now pretending to be offended. "Hmph. You guys are mean. All of you expect Atsushi. I'm going home. And I'm never coming back. I hope you meanies are satisfied with yourselves. You finally drove me away."