Nagireo oneshots (english)

It's okay

TW: s/h attempt
Angst but ends with fluff
I want to begin by apologizing for what I am about to write. I will break my own heart and yours too☹️☹️
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Reo's pov:
"Good night Nagi, I love you!"
"I love you too"
I turned around and tried to fall asleep. I really tried. It was pointless. I was on the verge of having another breakdown. I couldn't possibly tell Nagi about this. After all he would freak out. But I just can't hold it in any longer.
After I was sure that Nagi fell asleep I got up and went to the bathroom. Immediately after I closed the door I broke down. The tears just wouldn't stop escaping from my eyes. I'm so useless. I can feel the way that I am becoming more and more empty by the day. I'm just not feeling okay at all. I feel trapped. I feel like I am a bother to everyone. These insults that they throw at me really hurt. A lot.
"You're worthless."
"I hate you!"
"Why were you even born?"
"You're nothing but a rich man's son."
"You're boring."
"You're not fit to be a striker."
"I am ashamed of you being my son"
I just can't handle those things anymore. Maybe it would be better if I just disappeared forever. I would do everyone a favor.

While still crying uncontrollably I stood up and desperately searched for something. Something that would make me pay for always bothering everyone. I found it!
I picked up the sharp razor blade and looked at it in the darkness. I sobbed and began shaking. This was my fate after all. I wanted to slide the blade across my skin. I was sure this was the only way...but somehow I couldn't move. I was frozen. Something was stopping me. Nagi. What would he think of me? I can't hurt him.
As I was contemplating my decision while still crying I heard the bathroom door open. No. No no no. This can't be happening. What will he think of me.

I turned my head to face Nagi and when I saw the look on his face, my heart shattered. His eyes were wide open and tears were starting to flow in them. He looked completely mortified. I subconsciously sobbed even harder and dropped the blade that I have not used on the floor.
Nagi rushed to me and hugged me tightly. His warmth was like an escape route. An escape from this cruel reality. I gripped his shirt and let myself let out all of my emotions.
"It's okay, I'm here now." He reassured me as he started slowly massaging my back.
"I'm sorry!" I tried to speak but was a complete mess while talking "I-I made you worry and I was thinking of doing something horrible!"
"It's alright. I'm not mad. But why did this happen. What made you feel this way?"
"Well, it's just that, nobody is proud of me. Nobody cares. Everyone just has something horrible to say about me. My feelings are not relevant to them. I have been feeling like this for a while but I just couldn't resist any longer. I'm sorry for not telling you."
"Look at me."
I listened and fixed my gaze upon Nagi's.
"You're everything to me. I can't believe you were going through this. These people don't know the real value of Mikage Reo. Don't let them get to you. They are just jealous and think that being rude is going to make them more powerful than you, but in reality they are just pathetic. You are truly amazing. That's why I love you. I'll always be there for you and care for you. Always." He said as he wiped away my remaining tears.
My eyes widened and I smiled gently.
"I love you too, Nagi! I actually feel like I can only be myself around you."
Saying this, I hugged him again and calmed down completely.

We went back to bed and I still had my arms wrapped around Nagi. He had his around my waist and was holding me like he never dared to let go.
"Thank you for being here with me." I mumbled before finally falling asleep feeling calm and comfortable.
" I will always be here." Said Nagi before also falling into a slumber.

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I was so sad while reading this again I think that I will stay away from angst it makes me feel bad. I hope you guys aren't as sad as I am.