Dear Nick

Nov 2nd 2022 1:34pm

Dear Nick,

Today has been an okay day. My baby cousin Khaleesi was born at 12:05am this morning. My classes were okay so far. I hid in the bandroom during lunch. I stayed empty and didn't eat today. I talked to Lilly about relationship advice. She told me that I should tell someone next time Cam kisses me. Lilly said I should shoot my shot with you. Then she said I should ask if you are willing to date a trans person. I understand that some people just like cis men. Kate said she would ask, but I honestly am afraid of what your answer will be. If you say no, I would be crushed. I went outside where you were with Reese. You seemed frustrated. Then I walked over and looked at what you were playing. Aidan took it out of my hand. Then I picked up a paper that says taxes on it and asked if it was yours you said yes. I straight up said "You pay taxes?" It sounded more like a question rather than a statement. You took the paper from me. Then everyone had to go inside cause the bell rang. I asked you for a hug and you asked if I was okay. I said eh. Truthfully I wasn't okay, but when I'm around you I am. I made eye contact with you a couple times. You gave me a quick hug, then I called your phone cause you lost it. I had to say goodbye and run to class. You said good night to me last night. It made me feel less alone. My dad was smoking pot last night, it made my lungs hurt and they still do. Micheal said you are the kind of person who would like someone based off their personality. I asked about how many calories were in a Cookie, Lilly said we are to young to worry about that stuff. Tomorrow is our last marching band practice together. I'm going to be bawling my eyes out. Haha, everyone will think it's because of all the seniors, but it is going to be because I'm loosing you. Why do you have to leave me? I'm trying to get skinny for you. Even if I loose 20 or 40 pounds, I might look better. I just need to loose 76.6 more pounds to reach my goal of 120lbs. I need to loose this weight quick. I need to do it so you'll love me. I need you to love me. I love you.

-Sam