Pornstar (mxm)

Chapter 18

Warren could actually understand Tanner perfectly well. How many times had he wished he could treat himself to just a tiny bit of luxury to forget his lonely, sad existence? He just hadn't thought that it was also like that for his disturbingly lonely boss. How could someone as successful, smart, attractive and kind as Tanner be so alone? And apparently, so unhappy?
And worse: if someone like Tanner was alone, how was someone like Warren ever supposed to find love?!

Unless, of course, Tanner had feelings for him, in which case Warren really wanted to marry him, but yeah... That probably wasn't the case.
And let's not forget that Warren actually loved Jack and no one else! He almost berated himself for thinking romantic nonsense about his boss. Again.

"So you're happy with your life then? Did you become the person you always dreamt when you were young?" Warren asked drily, trying to get away from his inappropriate thoughts.

Tanner chuckled. "Did you?"

"No, but I also don't drive a car worth more than what most people make in two years," Warren pointed out. "Did you want to become a lawyer when you were a kid?"

This time Tanner laughed. "No. I wanted to be an alien." He grinned brightly, eliciting a laugh from Warren.

"I don't think that's an official profession."

The other man still chuckled a little. "When I got older, around 12 or so, I wanted to be a vet... Then I found out that vets also have to put animals down all the time, so I realized the job was too gruesome for me. But I really wanted to do something with animals, so then I wanted to work in a zoo. I had never actually been in a zoo though because my mother didn't like them, but then I went, and realized it was practically a prison for animals, except they were all incarcerated for no other reason than to entertain humans. After that I decided I wanted to be a farmer and rescue chickens from egg factories, but by then I was already done with high school and my parents didn't support my idea of becoming a farmer, nor did I have the money for it, so... That didn't happen."

Warren gaped at his boss, expecting him to say he was joking, but apparently he wasn't.

"You... wanted to rescue chickens?" That was so incredibly far away from Tanner's current job.

The man grinned. "Yeah. But during the summer holidays while I couldn't decide what to do with my life, my uncle Martin came to visit us in Germany, and he talked about all the amazing things he was doing here in America and all the money he was making, and whatnot, and... Yeah. He persuaded me to become a lawyer."

Warren smiled, tilting his head to the left while he studied the other man. "You know, you are not at all the kind of person I thought you were."

Tanner raised an amused eyebrow. "No? What kind of person did you think I am?"

"I don't know! But not the kind who rescues chickens!" Warren laughed, shaking his head while Tanner also laughed.

"I guess we all seem different towards the outside than what we truly are."

Warren nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah. I guess so."

Tanner also nodded with a small, pensive smile. "What are you really like?"

"Um... I don't know. I'm... normal, I guess?" The truth was that Warren didn't know. He felt lost and had no concrete idea of who he was.

"Normal. That's probably the worst word in the dictionary," Tanner accused with a laugh.

"I know, but... I don't really know." Did he want to share his confusion and bitterness with Tanner? Granted, the other man had done the same but... Warren still didn't know what terms they were on or what was happening between them. Besides, telling someone how pathetic you are was probably not the best way to gain their affection.