∂є∂ι¢αтє∂ тσ му вαє aestheticette ❤️ тнιик ωє ¢συℓ∂ gєт нєя тσ 3к fσℓℓσωєяѕ? 😉
Disclaimer: THE PARADE THING IS MADE UP! LET'S JUST PRETEND SPAIN HAS A FRICKIN' FOOD FESTIVAL EVERY YEAR BC FOOD.
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'Twas the night before the day of Vanessa's humiliation. And all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even the ass hole Keith.
Bet you wanted me to make it rhyme, huh? Well tough luck, bitch.
Okay, that was rude. But I'm in a bad mood. Like a really bad mood.
Like I-want-to-punch-Keith-in-the-balls-so-hard-that-he-can't-have-babies mad.
Why?
Because I'm suffocating in a potato costume.
Oh yeah, it's all fun and games when you first wear it and walk around like you own it, but when you have spent the last two hours in it, you get a little pissed off.
The streets were absolutely crowded with people in ridiculous outfits and costumes. People laughed and smiled as they got their faces painted and stuffed their face with funnel cakes and all sorts of fruity deserts...
My stomach growled.
I pressed the button that let me talk to the gang. "I have an emergency!"
Tyler panicked. "What? What? IS THE POTATO COSTUME OKAY?!"
Silence.
"You..." I shook my head with a sad look on my face. "You care about the potato costume more than me?" I asked, barely above a whisper.
"Vanessa, I-"
"Wow," I cut him off. "I can't believe you. You- you know what, Tyler? We're over."
He gasped. "Are you...breaking up with me?"
I wiped under my eyes. "I thought we had something special, Tyler," I sobbed.
"But what about our fish-"
"WHAT THE HELL ARE Y'ALL DOING?" a voice booms from the distance. It must have been someone who entered the room Tyler was in. I recognized the voice as Blu's.
"Vanessa!" he shouts and I flinch at the loudness of his voice. Damn.
"Yeah?" I respond when my ear stops throbbing.
"You're supposed to be focusing on this mission. This is very important! I need you to go to King's headquarters-"
"Hey, hey, hey," I interrupted, placing my hand on the potato hip. "You just messed up me and Tyler's foreplay."
"What are you talking about?" he hisses.
I rolled my eyes as I tried to catch him up. "See, me and Tyler are doing this thing where he's my boyfriend and we have seven kids and two fish and we just broke up because-"
"I don't care! Focus on the mission or so help me-"
"Put that thing back where it came from or so help me," I started to sing, instantly reminded of Monsters, Inc. "Bum, bum, bum, bum."
"So close to just ending you right now," he sneers. I hold up my hands in defense even though he can't see them.
"Okay... King's headquarters, get information, help you guys kill him..." I rolled my eyes. "Gosh, can a girl get a break?"
YOU ARE READING
The Gangleader Kidnapped Me | ✓
Humor"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal...
