"What do you mean you can't go?" I'm trying my best not to get angry at Jay, but all he does is make me angry.
I get that this marriage wasn't one out of love, and I understand that he may harbor resentment toward me, but this is a charity event, and the presence of both the queen and the king is expected.
"I just can't go." He repeats and I throw my hands in the air. I've never seen such a stubborn king.
"Is there any particular reason why you cannot attend? Perhaps we can find a compromise or an alternative arrangement." Anger rises within me, threatening to boil over, but I remind myself to remain composed.
He lets out a derisive chuckle. "Why do you care? It's not like we're fooling anyone with our 'royal' facade. Let them talk, it's all they ever do."
Despite my efforts to stay composed, Jay's words cut deep. The pain of his dismissive attitude is amplified by the knowledge that, deep down, there might be more to his actions than meets the eye.
I struggle to reconcile his coldness with the occasional glimpses of kindness he has shown me.
"What is wrong with you?" I slightly shake my head in disbelief, trying to read his expression but it's only a mask of indifference that stares back at me.
There's a part of me that wants to lash out in frustration, to demand an explanation for his behavior, but another part recognizes the vulnerability hidden beneath his icy exterior.
He averts his gaze and mutters under his breath, "You wouldn't understand."
"Well, help me understand-"
"You won't!" He raises his voice and I freeze. The sudden intensity in his voice startles me, and I take a step back, momentarily taken aback by his outburst.
His words hang heavy in the air, the raw emotion in his words pierces through my defenses and I sigh, looking down. "Yes, your majesty."
"Y/N-"
"I understand you cannot attend the event," I interrupt him before he can say anything else. "I won't force you."
As I make my way out of his chamber, from the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of a flicker of something on Jay's face, something that resembles regret. But before I can fully process it, he turns away, hiding it behind his usual mask of indifference and I keep on walking away.
"That idiot," I mutter under my breath, my fists tight as I hold the dress I could trip on.
"Your Majesty-" Jake starts but I'm not in any mood to hear him talk. He's been following me since morning. No, since always.
"The King is not attending the event. Please prepare the necessary arrangements for the Queen's attendance," I say firmly, cutting Jake off. I don't need anyone else reminding me of Jay's absence.
He had always been absent. He wasn't here for our honeymoon, nor for our wedding days, nor for anything.
I shake my head, trying to push away the bitterness that threatens to consume me. It's been six months since we got married, and while I knew what I was getting into, it still hurts to see him constantly distant.
Am I not enough for him?
I step outside where the carriage awaits and get inside, making myself comfortable before we start the journey. The carriage begins to move, its wheels rolling smoothly along the cobblestone streets.
The rhythmic sound of hooves against the ground provides a steady backdrop to my swirling emotions. I gaze out of the window, watching the city pass by in a blur of colors and faces.
