14th February.
Your Instagram feed is full of people with their roses and red hearts, yet all you're left with is a broken one.
You would have been spending the day with your lover if it wasn't for your stupid self. Now that you're sleeping alone on the bed you used to share, you regret everything.
His touch, his smile, his eyes, his everything... you're missing it. You miss the way he laughs at your jokes and kisses your forehead.
You miss how he makes you feel like you're the best person he'd ever met. Maybe, you are. But perhaps, he took his words back after you broke his heart.
The thought makes a wave of guilt rush over you and you hug the blanket closer, seeking warmth.
On a day when people celebrate love, you think about the love that's leaving you half and numb. But it was your fault, so you can't even complain.
Jake was the perfect boyfriend, and you know for a fact that whoever dates him would be the luckiest in the whole world.
His love is pure and so comforting that it takes away all your worries. Staring into his eyes makes you drown deep inside them and you just forget everything.
You didn't even know why you had to break his heart but you knew that if you stayed with him, the two of you would only get hurt.
Being betrayed once made you feel and think that everyone would do the same. You wanted to stop the thoughts from haunting you but they never went away.
No one would ever love you. You're just a worthless piece of shit.
"No..." You put your hands against your ears and close your eyes so you don't hear your ex-boyfriend's voice replay in your mind again.
He's a big part of everything that's happening, but it's your fault you started seeing Jake when you didn't even heal your past wounds.
The phone's ringing makes you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. "Hello?"
"Y/N." On the other line, Harin's voice sounds serious and filled with worry. "Are you home?"
"Yes, why?" You frown.
"Well, I'm out with Jaesuk and we saw Jake sitting alone in the restaurant you used to go to together." The words hit you like a brick while you try to understand what's happening.
"He seems so drunk, Y/N, I think you should come."
It has been a few months since the two of you broke up. Actually, you left him.
One morning, he woke up without finding you in his arms, and when he met you to understand what was happening, he was only left with more confusion.
I don't think we're going to work. You clearly remember your words because that was the biggest lie you'll regret for the rest of your life.
Jake was willing to be there for you, but the more you were in love with him, the more the fear of him leaving consumed you.
"I-" You start, running your fingers through your hair. "Okay."
You don't even realize it until you're standing in front of the restaurant that held many of your memories with Jake.
He's sitting alone, his head on his hand while he tries to find balance. You stare at him, your heart breaking more at his state every second that passes.
When you step inside, you hesitantly make your way toward him, standing at his table with him oblivious to your presence.
His eyes are closed and his cheeks are red and wet, making you realize that he must have been crying.
You slowly take out the chair in front of him and sit down, finally making him open his eyes and look at you. And your heart drops at how glistening his eyes are.
"Y/N...? My Y/N?" The way he calls you is so familiar that it almost makes you cry. You've been missing it without even realizing it.
"Hi, Jake." You mutter, your voice barely audible.
"Do I see visions of you now?" He chuckles a little, rubbing his eyes to have a clearer vision of you. "Am I... dreaming?"
"No-"
"I must be dreaming... Y/N would never come for me." His words feel like sharp knives pierced through your heart, but when he reaches his hand to touch your cheek, the coldness of his touch breaks your heart even more.
"It's you..."
You can't even keep looking at him when his eyes soften. He recognizes you, and the way his lips start quivering makes you gulp.
"How have y-you been...?" You ask, trying your best not to cry in front of him. But Jake? The tears are falling down his cheeks while he stares at you, taking in everything he missed about you.
"You see..." He closes his eyes and shakes his head. "I've been dying inside... day by day..."
"Can't you j-just move on-"
"I meant loving you." He looks at you with teary eyes and you just give up and cry, hiding your face with your hands.
You feel him hold your hands and take them off your face. "I'm a h-horrible woman."
"Why did you make me love you if you were going to l-leave?" Jake is desperate for an answer, but you have none.
You were in love with him as well, but it scared you. You were afraid of falling in love because you did once and took all of you.
"I'm s-sorry." You shake your head and look down, crying while he stares at you with sad eyes.
"Don't go." When you look up at him, he has this bitter smile on his face with tears still on his cheeks. "Don't go, hm?"
"I don't w-want to hurt you-"
"No..." He shakes his head then you feel him squeeze your hand three times. Jake doesn't say anything else and you don't need him to.
Your tear-logged eyes meet his and you let out a breath, trying to smile through all the blue emotions you're feeling.
"I-" You stare at him as he smiles a little, his eyes red. "I l-love you too."
Jake's eyes melt a little when he realizes that you still remember. That you still love him, that you were just scared of loving anyone.
That night, the two of you sleep together. He keeps on stroking your cheeks with his thumb and kissing every part of your face, feeling relieved that you were again by his side.
Although you didn't spend the day together, those last minutes in each other's arms are all that matter.
And the next day, when Jake wakes up, all his worries are washed away because you don't leave him.
You're there, right by his side, letting him love you and kiss your wounds.
