hotel rooms & secret little rendezvous

 If you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms
And if you like having secret little rendezvous
If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do
Then baby, I'm perfect
Baby, I'm perfect for you
And if you like midnight driving with the windows down
And if you like going places we can't even pronounce
If you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about
Then baby, you're perfect
Baby, you're perfect
So let's start right now

"Drop by later for a drink? We need to talk - Nick"

The message remained unanswered in the inbox of Meredith's phone as she walked nervously through the hotel lobby. The feeling that her heart was going to burst out of her mouth increased with every step she took. She tried to figure out what she was going to say to him while riding up to his floor in the elevator. But a kind of euphoria had come over her and she couldn't think clearly. All she knew was that she was on a mission. The thrill of anticipation made her belly twist as she entered the hallway to his room searching through the numbers on the walls. The sound of her heels against the floor was like the ringing of bells accompanying a condemned man to the gallows. She knew she was being overdramatic and that it was just him, for god's sake. They had always been able to talk about anything. But moments like this weren't exactly a classic in Meredith Grey's life and deeds. So she told herself it was permissible to panic a little. She ran her hands down her sides repositioning her dress and felt her ears burning as she stood in front of Nick's hotel room door. She still had no idea what she was going to say to him when she finally knocked.

It wasn't the first time they had met. As soon as his plane had landed in Boston the night before, and with the excuse that she was going to work late anyway, Meredith kind of faked a chance encounter at the foundation. After all, she couldn't wait to see them all, could she? She had hugged Amelia, Richard and Bailey tightly but felt her heart literally explode inside her chest and her mouth go dry when her eyes met his for the first time. She had to look away and pray that he wouldn't think to make any physical contact to greet her. He lifted his chin in her direction in greeting and gave her a small smile that she wasn't able to look at long enough to decipher what was behind it. He was so absurdly hot that she doubted she would be able to hold a coherent conversation with him. Not when just by laying eyes on him the fire was crackling inside her. He'd let his hair grow longer and was wearing one of those plaid shirts of his that made him look like a lumberjack. So sexy it was breathtaking. Meredith swallowed hard and tried to ignore the urge to rip the buttons off his flannel shirt with her teeth. Considering the state of mind she was in, she felt proud of herself for being able to keep up the chitchat with her family and friends, catching up with each other after so long. She avoided his gaze as much as she could and only addressed him when strictly necessary, trying to remain cool and neutral. An impenetrable iceberg. But he, so tender, so transparent, so honest, had cornered her in the lab and with pleading eyes had asked for explanations. There was no anger or resentment in his voice. He just needed to know if he was suffering for nothing.

"I told you I loved you and you pretended not to hear to me."

"I love you. I fell in love with you the first day I met you, I fell in love with you the second day I met you. And I've loved you every minute of every day I've known you."

His words echoed in her head as they had been doing for months, keeping her from sleeping at night, forcing her to send him ridiculous messages asking him for directions in Boston because letting him go terrified her almost as much as it terrified her to let him love her. What was she going to say to him? Of course she'd heard him, perfectly. Loud and clear. Not that he needed to tell her, she already knew he loved her. But she was scared to death and so she kept putting up walls between them so that he, stubborn as he was, would tear them down. Only to then go back to giving him the silent treatment for months, like the coward she was.