Survivor | John Murphy Love Story

What if the Grounders get us?

It's been two days since the bomb of our people blew up the bridge that lead the grounders to us. So far, nothing had happened. No sign of them at all. Even if I hated admitting it, I was a bit scared, but most of all I was exhausted. I had been up all the time, watching for anything telling me when the grounders will attack. I climbed on the trees, I've seen nothing. I sneaked out into the woods- I've seen nothing.

„You need to rest, eventually", John said, kissing my temple as he hugged me from behind. He wasn't as tired as I was at all. He had been sleeping perfectly in the last few days. I had spent my nights turning and sighing and walking around the camp.

„I know", I mumbled, stroking his arms. I rest my head against his chest, closing my eyes for a moment. I didn't want to rest. I couldn't. I couldn't be unprepared when the grounders attacked.

I needed to protect my friends, Octavia, Jared, Tyler and even Raven from now on. Most of all, I needed to protect John. He turned into a good fighter but still, I was afraid of losing him again.

He was swaying a bit, and I almost fell asleep right there. My eyelids were heavy but I forced them to stay open. I mustn't fall asleep.

„Noah, you can't be like this when the grounders are coming. You'd be dead within seconds", he warned and I nodded, knowing he was right. I gave him a sloppy kiss, lazily walking into the tent I shared with Octavia. I slipped out of my heavy boots and my jacket, carefully lying down, under the covers. I moved around a bit, until I found a comfortable position and closed my eyes. The calling and yelling of the other prisoners didn't even bother me, because I fell asleep within seconds.

„Noah, you have to go to bed now!", daddy called out, sternly. I quickly shook my head, taking a step back. I wasn't even tired yet! A few strands of hair were falling out of my ponytail and I effortlessly pushed them away.

„I want to stay up like the big people!", I called out, crossing my arms. I pouted, angry for being so small. I didn't like being small. I always had to go to bed early.

„I'm being serious. If you don't go to bed now, daddy is going to be really mad at you", he warned, slowly walking towards me. He may have had big feet, but I was faster than him, taking a few steps back again.

„Daddy, I'm already mad and you don't care", I mumbled, looking at the ground. How come I had to go to bed when I was wide awake? It wasn't fair. I wasn't telling him to go to bed now, either and if I did, he wouldn't listen.

„That's it. That's enough. You're going to bed now, there's no need for further discussion", daddy reached out for me, wanting to pick me up but like I said, I wasn't tired so I wasn't going to bed. It was that easy. I dodged, quickly running off. Luckily the doors on the Ark were hardly locked so I pushed open the door with all the force I could muster, running through the halls, around strangers, almost hitting the walls as I turned around for the corners.

„Huh, gotcha!"

Someone picked me up and I noticed it was Clarke's daddy. I kicked my feet, trying to wiggle out of his grip but it was too firm.

„You better let me go, Mister!", I warned him, pointing my finger at his face, pushing me away from his chest with my other hand. The man chuckled, walking back to the direction I came from.

„Daddy, no! That's kidnapping!", Clarke called out, hurrying to keep up with his pace. Wells was right behind her, careful not to trip as he was walking so fast.

"It's not, Clarke, its called 'returning it to it's owner'", he corrected her quietly, thinking I wouldn't hear. I gasped, glaring at him:"Did you just call me 'it'? I'm a girl! You want me to spell it? I'm a G – E- R- L!"

„You spelled it wrong", Clarke whispered, scrunching up her face. I pretended I didn't hear her and turned to her daddy again.

„Noah!"

Oh no. That was my daddy! I tried to hide my face, hoping he wouldn't see me but I'm sure he did.

„There you are", he sighed:"Don't ever run away from me again, okay?"

He took me from Clarke's daddy and held me with one arm, thanking him.

„Excuse me, Mister Daddy? I think you got the wrong person, I'm Clarke, this is Noah!", I said, pointing at the girl at our feet. I think I got a word wrong, but I already forgot. Clarke-Noah nodded eagerly, playing along. I gave her a quick thumbs up and tried to wink, but blinked instead.

„Oh, I'm sorry, Clarke", he apologized, setting me down again. I covered my mouth as I giggled, he really believed us. He was so silly sometimes. He picked up Clarke who was hiding her giggles too and waved at Wells, who just looked at us with his mouth wide open. He caught us lying. Daddy said goodbye and walked off, with Clarke in his arms. He really didn't notice it wasn't me. He didn't know how I looked like. He loved Clarke and not me. He didn't want me anymore.

„Daddy, wait!", I called out, sobbing. He turned around, looking surprised. I wiped my tears away, hugging his leg:"Don't leave me, it's me, Noah! I'll go to bed if you want me to, but don't leave me!"

He set down Clarke, picking me up instead. He laughed, kissing my nose:"I knew you were the right Noah, I'd recall your cute face out of a million ones"

„Don't I have a cute face?", Clarke asked, offended. Now it was Wells turn to nodd eagerly and the blonde girl scrunched up her nose in disgust. A boy thought she had a cute face – ewww! He probably wanted to kiss her, too! Poor Clarke!

I woke up, trying to muffle my sobs but Octavia must have heard because she stuck her head into our tent, looking at me worryingly:"Are you okay?"

„Peachy keen", I lied, burying my face into the improvised pillow so she wouldn't see me crying. Yes, I have been crying before but that was because I thought John was dead. This was different, I didn't even know why exactly I was crying. I was just missing the old times on the Ark, missing my dad. I had a stupid homesickness.

„Do you want to talk about it?", She asked, shuffling around, probably lying down on her bed. I shrugged, afraid my voice might crack if I talked again. I didn't want to be weak. I didn't want to cry because I was missing my father.

„Do you want me to get Murphy?", she asked again, and I quickly shook my head. I was embarrassed enough to cry, he didn't need to know, too.

„It's just.. I've got this constant feeling that my dad died thinking that I was dead, too. Most of the kids got the chance to talk to their parents, assure them they were still alive, even if the wristbands showed otherwise. I wasn't even there, I don't know if someone told him I was still alive, or that I was off to find John. I just wished I could have seen him one last time before going to war. I wished I could have told him one last time, how much I loved him", I sobbed, roughly wiping away my tears with the back of my hand.

„God, I'm so whiny", I chuckled, trying to seem tough even though, right now, I wasn't tough at all.

„It's okay", Octavia said quietly, pulling me into a tight hug:"Clarke talked to your father. She probably told him you were out with a whole team, being safe"

She was trying to calm me down, to soothe me but it didn't really work. She probably told him. Octavia didn't even know and Clarke didn't even tell me she was talking with my dad. She didn't tell me anything. I just hoped it was because she had a lot on her mind, being some sort of a leader to us and not because she changed for the worse.

„I miss my mom, too. She did anything to protect me and just because I wanted to go to that stupid party we got caught and she got..floated", she admitted, her voice filled with venom and sadness, an unfitting mix.

I held onto her for a little longer, before letting go, wiping away a tear that had escaped her.

„Thank you", I mumbled, giving her a weak smile. It was nice to talk to a girl about things like that for once, not only John, Tyler and Jared. I was glad I found a friend in Octavia.

I ran my hands through my hair, trying to get out the tangles that had appeared while I was sleeping. My hair was greasy and disgusting, but then again – so had been everyone else's. Knowing you weren't the only one smelling like a trashcan sort of helped.

„I'm gonna go back to work", Octavia announced, leaving me alone again. I nodded, falling back in my bed. I rubbed my face, thinking about my Dad again. I regret picking a fight with that stupid guard, I regret yelling at my dad for letting Johns dad get floated. I wish I just could've been with him the past years, talk to him and live with him. I was a bad daughter. I was a bad person. That's why I was down here – Karma. I had to make it up to my dad again, somehow. I groaned in frustration, gritting my teeth. I hated feeling like this. I hated this remorse.

„Fire!"

I quickly scrambled up, tripping out between the sheets that had been the door to our tent. I looked around, seeing that the smoke house was burning, together with all of the food we had left.

Octavia and John were crouching on the floor, coughing. I sighed, at least they were fine.

„This is all your fault", he growled, attacking a boy that was standing next to the flames. I immediately skipped over to them and with the help of Bellamy, held John back.

„Stop it, Murphy, you know what happened the last time", I hissed at him, angry at him for not overcoming his short temper. I didn't want to lose him again.

He muttered something I didn't hear, rolling his eyes. God dammit, this was stupid. This whole situation was stupid, we shouldn't even be here. We were born in the sky, not on the ground. We weren't supposed to be here on our own, trying everything to survive. My complete life was contradicting itself and I didn't know how I was supposed to react. Everything was confusing me.

I huffed, running my hands through my hair and pulling it in frustration. The fucking grounders were coming soon, this was all holding us back from defeating them.

Bellamy was ordering everyone to build groups, so they could go hunting. I wouldn't, not today. Not when I was feeling this strange. Did every teenage girl feel like that? I sure hated it. If the way I was feeling was a person I'd strangle them. I'd smash his head against the metal walls of the drop ship and rip their lungs out. Hell yes, that's how I'd been feeling today. Now I was the one being angry, angry at myself. I growled to myself, climbing up the liana to our tree base, needing some space and time to think. I scared the kid that here before me off with a death glare and leaned back, against the bark of the tree. I looked up, above me think branches and leaves, leaving me to wonder how much further I could climb up. I didn't want to try, though. I couldn't risk getting hurt when war would come.

I heard a bang and a heavy breathing as my head snapped in the direction of the source. I was about to yell at the person to get back to work, but it was just John. I was acting as if I had my period. I would've punched myself in the face if I could. What was wrong with me?

I didn't say anything, as John placed his head on my lap, closing his eyes. He was quiet, too.

I stroke his hair, my fingertips softly touching the cuts on his face. I felt myself calming down as he laid his hand on top of mine.

„I'm sorry for being such a dick", he mumbled, looking as if I had forced him too. I wasn't mad at him for reacting the way he did, I would have done the same, I was mad at him for not being able to control his temper. I was just so afraid they'd hang him again.

„Me too", I agreed, smiling down at him. He chuckled, shaking his head. I looked up again, watching the sky slowly getting dark. It still amazed me how the days on earth were full of light and the nights were dark, just like in space. We've only head the lights of the Ark, up there. No sun beaming down on our skin, giving us sunburns or anything. Once again, I was reminded how we were new to this world and the grounders weren't. They had advantage. I wasn't sure if we were able to survive but I was sure we were going to try.

„What if the grounders get us?", I asked quietly, not wanting to be heard by anyone except him. John raised his eyebrows, looking at me surprised. Maybe he didn't expect me asking.

„Then they kill us", he answered casually, sitting up. Easy for him to say, huh? I wasn't ready to give my life up just yet. There was so much more I had to do until I was ready. We have been locked up for years and now that we were finally here, on the ground we couldn't just get killed.

„They won't, okay? I won't let them lay a hand on you", he promised me, sounding as serious as he never did before. There was always this cocky, or teasing undertone to his voice, but now, there wasn't. There was utter honesty. Like he thought he'd see me for the last time.

„And if they're coming anywhere near you I'll rip out their throats", I promised back, gathering all my frust and anger and pretending it's the grounders fault. I needed some motivation for killing them, okay? Surviving wasn't enough to make me a fierce fighter, there needed to be more, something like.. Pure hatred.