Betrayal

Is that all I am to you?

Today after dinner I was walking through the corridors on my way to Mattheo's room to surprise him, when I heard some voices coming out of an empty classroom. I recognized one of the voices, it was Mattheo's. The other one sounded familiar, but I didn't know why. I wasn't planning on eavesdropping, but when they said my name I couldn't help but listen. 'How is it going with the Granger girl?' 'It's going good with Y/N.' 'Are you getting close to her?' 'Yes, I am.' 'Are you able to get her over to our side?' 'Not yet, father.' Father? Mattheo is talking to his father? And what does he mean with getting me over to their side? 'You need to hurry up, Mattheo. The faster she's on our side, the faster we can take over the wizarding world. With her strength and her knowledge, we'll be even more powerful than we already are.' 'I know, father.' 'Good. Now get on with it and keep me informed about the progressions.' 'Yes, father.' And with that it fell quiet in the room. Mattheo's father wants me to join him? And he wants Mattheo to get me to do that? Is that why Mattheo's with me? That can't be true can it? I thought... I thought he cared for me. Did these past couple of months not mean anything to him? I thought...

And with that the door in front of me opened and Mattheo walked out. 'Y/N?' I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. 'What are you doing here, Y/N?' 'Is it true?' Mattheo looked at me with confusion. 'What do you mean, love?' 'Don't call me love.' I said curt. 'What's wrong, Y/N?' 'Tell me, is it true? Are you just with me to get me to join your father's side? Is that all that I am to you? Just another task from your father?' 'I...' 'Just tell me the truth.' 'Yes. It started like that, but...' 'No, don't! Don't try to backtrack now. I'm... I... I can't do this...' Tears were leaving my eyes now and I took one last look at Mattheo, before I walked away. Mattheo grabbed my arm and said my name with desperation in his voice. 'Don't.' I said before pulling away my arm and walking out of the corridor.

Once I was out of his sight, I started running out of the castle and into the Forbidden Forest. I needed to get out. I kept on running with no goal in sight, until I reached the field, Mattheo's field, the field he uses as his quiet place and the field that has become my safespace as well. I sat down against the tree in the middle of the field and started thinking. I can't believe Mattheo made me go through all of this, just to betray me in the end. Why would he do that? I thought he truly cared about me. But, I guess it was all an act. I ended up replaying the memories I had with Mattheo in my head. Trying to find hints at him faking everything, but I couldn't find any. It all felt so real. After a while of replaying memories, it became darker and darker in the forest, but I was incredibly tired, so I ended up falling asleep against the tree. 

Once I woke up, I saw that it was already starting to get light again, so I got up and started walking back to the castle. I had to be quiet, since it was still too early to be allowed to walk the corridors according to Filch's rules. Once I was out of the corridors, I could walk normally again until I was met with multiple worried faces sitting on the couch in the middle of the commonroom. 'WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU, Y/N?!' Pansy yelled while running up to me. 'I... I... was in the forest.' 'WHAT WERE YOU THINKING GOING OUT IN THE FOREST ALONE AT NIGHT? WHAT WAS GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD?' 'Pansy, please calm down a bit.' Theo interjected. 'I... I...' I couldn't form any words. All I could do was look over at Mattheo, who was sitting on the couch staring at the ground, with tears in my eyes. Pansy followed my gaze and looked back at me. 'Let's get you cleaned up in our room, okay?' Pansy said to me softly. I looked down and saw I was covered in dirt from sitting on the ground all night. I nodded my head to Pansy and we walked out of the commonroom and into my dormroom. 

'What happened, Y/N?' Pansy asked after she closed the door behind me. 'I... Mattheo... he... I was just a task... I never meant anything to him...' 'What are you talking about, babe?' 'I heard him talking. I was coming over to see him and he was talking to someone. I think his father. And I heard him say that he was getting closer to me and that his father wanted me on his side. I was just a task to him, nothing more. I thought he cared about me. How could he do this, Pansy? I loved him.' My eyes widened at what I just said. I had never said it to Mattheo or any of my friends, but I guess I did love Mattheo. 'Y/N... I'm sure you must have misheard. That can't be true.' 'But, it is Pansy. I asked him and he said it was true. I hoped he would deny it, but he didn't. And now I've lost the person I cared about most.' Tears started dwelling in my eyes and all I wanted to do was break down. Pansy walked over to me and gave me a hug. 'I'm so sorry, Y/N. I'm going to beat the shit out of him, just so you know.' I chuckled and gave a weak smile. 'Please hurt his face as well. It will be easier to look at him, if his face didn't look so perfect.' 'I will, babe.' We both gave a small laugh, before I sat down on the bed. 'Pansy?' 'Yes?' 'What am I supposed to do now?' 'Now, you're going to take a shower and I'll tell all the professors that you're sick and that you need me to take care of you. And then, we're going to lay in your bed and just do nothing for the whole day, while eating ice cream.' 'Okay. Thank you, Pans.' 'You're welcome, sweety.' 

Pansy left our room and I made my way over to the bathroom. I turned the shower on and got undressed while it was heating up. I got under the shower and slowly let the dirt and betrayal wash away. But, only one of them truly left my body. I started washing my hair, when it got caught in something. I was still wearing Mattheo's snake ring that he gave me all those months ago. It had become a part of me and now after everything that happened, it felt like something strange again. I detangled my hair from the ring and let some tears leave my eyes while looking at the ring. 

I finished showering and got dressed in some comfy clothes. The first class had started in the meantime, so I could freely walk around without bumping into Mattheo. So, I walked over to his dormroom. I knocked wanting to know for sure he wasn't there. After no answer I slowly opened his door and sneaked into his room. His room, a place that used to make me feel like coming home, because I knew Mattheo would be there. Now, it was just another thing that felt strange, because of Mattheo's actions. I walked around the room, trying to relive the happy memories, but they didn't make me feel happy anymore. I walked over to Mattheo's bed and stood in front of it, looking at the ring he gave me. I had to say goodbye to it, because I couldn't keep it anymore. I took it off and a tear escaped my eyes. I placed the ring on his pillow and walked away. I couldn't look at it any longer and I needed to leave his room before it broke me even more. 

I walked back to my own room and Pansy was already waiting for me in my bed with some ice cream and french toast. 'Hey babe, where did you go?' She asked me when I sat down next to her. 'I had to do something.' 'Okay, well I got you your favourite ice cream flavours banana, vanilla and white chocolate and ofcourse I got you some french toast, because you also need to eat something other than ice cream.' 'Thank you, Pans.' I gave her a big hug before digging into the french toast. And oh my goodness what did that taste amazing. 'So, tell me. What are we going to do today? Do you just want to sleep? Do you want to read? Play games? Watch movies? Tell me and we'll do it.' Pansy asked me next. 'Can we watch a movie? I don't really feel up for any of the other options.' 'Ofcourse, babe. Anything you want. Which movie shall we watch?' 'Well, since we're getting closer to Christmas and they're my favourite movies, can we watch Home Alone?' 'I thought you'd never ask.' Pansy and I have watched Home Alone 1 and 2 every year together in the weeks leading up to Christmas. During our first year, only the first movie had been out. She had never heard of it, but I told her it was a must-see and she immediately fell in love with it. During our second year, the second movie came out and once again we fell in love with it. And since we fell in love with them, we have watched both of them every year and this year would be no other. Pansy put on the movie and we cozied up to eachother. We were laughing are asses up, but halfway through the movie I noticed that sleeping against a tree exhausts you, so I fell asleep in Pansy's arms. 

About an hour later I woke up to see that Pansy had fallen asleep as well. I closed my eyes again and fell back asleep. Pansy and I slept for another two hours, before both waking up. 'Good morning, babe.' 'Good morning, Pansy.' 'How are you feeling?' Pansy asked me. 'Like I'm ready for Home Alone 2.' 'Me too.' Pansy responded while laughing. So, we started the next movie and stayed in bed together for the rest of the day.