Junes reaction to what had happened at Sarah's apartment was beyond rational, the girl deciding that getting as drunk as humanly possible and drowning in her sorrows would make her feel better. So she had secured a bottle, sat her ass on the side of a dock, and let her feet touch the water as she drank to forget.
However the alcohol didn't make her feel any better, the March girl still pondering how on Earth she was the bad guy in all of this. The way Sarah had explained it made it seem like they were innocent, like they hadn't done a thing to her. She knew she had forgiven them all too early, she hated that she was forced into it. She hadn't meant to have the outburst against Kie...but the way she constantly spoke about Kooks as if she wasn't one too...as if the only thing constituting her as a Pogue was the fact that she was friends with them.
June had always despised the systematic names, the way that whole groups of people on the island relied so heavily on them to determine who they could like and dislike. Pogues and Kooks could hardly mix, it was a born hatred for each other that was caused by nothing by the fact that your parents had money or they didn't. It was the biggest thing that bothered her in her relationship with Zach. He would constantly insult people he didn't even know, only because they lived on his version of the wrong side of the island. Zach would base everything off of the fact that they were less and he was more, and she had hated it. It was the reason she had broken up with him...she had been so blinded by JJ and the prospect of having real friends that she didn't realize she had fallen into a whole group of people with the same ideals as him...just reversed. It was always what held her apart from them—even if they said it didn't.
"Well fuck that." June whispered to herself, taking another sip of her drink. She looked out at the water as her feet swung, her toes dipping into it as she carried on with her thoughts. The February breeze had made an appearance and she was glad she had thought to bring a jacket, knowing that she would regret it if she hadn't.
She wasn't sad per-say, more disappointed in that fact that nothing ever quite seemed to be okay. Sarah, her closest friend, the girl she had hardly even spoken to in the last two weeks, was angry with her because she wouldn't tell her what happened at Toms house. June was disappointed in the fact that Sarah would hold that against her, that she would use it as an ultimatum. She didn't know how to explain it, how could she possibly look them all in the eyes and confess to murder. They knew, or at least they thought they knew, John B having theorized that the gunshot he had heard in the cave was from June. And while it was a highly theorized occurrence, none of them truly knew for sure. All they knew was that Singh had grabbed her...and she had gotten away.
June didn't want to think about that any longer, knowing that if she dwelled on it that she would see him. The water that her foot was in was reminding her of the way she had sunk into the ocean, how she had almost died. She thought it was funny that the only reason she hadn't was because of Tyler. Tyler, who carted her off to her death at Singhs hands...had also saved her life before. Numerous times in fact. She wondered if he ever made it back to his mom. She hoped he did. Even after everything.
Her thoughts traveled to what Rafe had said to her earlier that day, her chin resting on her knee as she ducked in a deep breath. He was angry with her because she was talking to JJ. She was tired of attempting to please the two of them by hiding the other. At this point she didn't care. Thinking of what he said earlier reminded her of a time long ago when he had found her after running from the cops, when he had called her a slut to her face. She regretted not laughing in his face then, wondering why he could ever call her that when all he ever seemed to want was her for himself.
