Doubt. It crept in slowly at first, and then with every repeat of her brothers words she couldn't help but feel it. She wanted JJ, she wanted to marry him really or not really, she wanted to be with him forever because they had been through so much to not end up together. But then she thought about it, how much they had been through. And she wondered if her brother was right.
She had been hurting the people she loved for so long, over a year now. For longer than that, this had all began with Rafe and she knew it. She knew that if she would've just listened to Adam back then, if she had followed what he'd said then she would've been okay. None of this would've probably happened. But she hadn't. And she couldn't change things. She could only work with what she had been dealt, and she would.
Her eyes traced over the white fabric she was wearing, an inquisitive and highly concerned expression in her eyes as she tried to fight through her thoughtfulness to find a reaction. She wasn't sure how much she liked the white, she wasn't sure if she could consider herself bridal.
There had been few men she'd assumed she'd marry through her short life. She thought she would marry Nick Jonas for a long time, and then she thought she would marry Zach. She thought Rafe would always come back around and they would try things out when they were older, and it would work and they would be happy. Never in her wildest dreams had she expected anyone but them and yet here she was, looking for a dress to wear to a fake wedding to a man she loved.
There was chatter from the couch and June turned her head, looking to the girls sitting there and letting them judge the gown she was wearing.
"Do you like it?" She asked, only wondering because she didn't know if she liked it herself.
"It's very floral. I like the top...it's a no on the bottom for me." Sarah said, her eyes on the skirt of the dress she was wearing. Kiara nodded in agreement and Cleo started to speak, Junes eyes turning to her.
"Too much. Try a different one." She nodded dutifully and agreed, moving back towards the dressing room. The wedding dress shop worker helped her out of that one and she pulled out another one, her eyes glazed over as she continued to think.
She was naive, and she'd hoped after everything she wouldn't be. Her visit with her therapist earlier in the week also haunted her, the doctor having told her a few things that made her hesitant as well.
She'd explained trauma bonding to her, the fact that the reason she felt so close to JJ and Sarah and John B was not only because they were friends...but because they had been through some of the same things. June had known the term but when she was given specific examples, kidnapped together, almost murdered together, hurt together, stranded on an island together...she started to realize how much she was right. She'd told her that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but that it could be seen as a facade of closeness sometimes due to the fact that you only are that close because you share the same pain. She'd said it wasn't the best basis to build a life on. And that was exactly what June was attempting to do.
Every time she doubted things she took a deep breath, attempting to remember the early days of their relationship. She tried to remember how much she was in love with him. How she tried so hard to resist him but couldn't stop loving him. The only time she'd ever felt anything close to that was with—
"Ready?" The attendant asked, June zoning back in with a frown on her lips and nodding. They started out of the dressing room and into the showing room, the girls on the couches eyes widening when she stood on the platform.
