June March pushed her car door closed, pushing her sunglasses up onto her head as she made her way towards the country club. Her mother had reminded her the day before that they were members and that June should use the amenities provided considering they were free to her. As much as she didn't want to agree with her mom...she was right, the country club had plenty of things she could use. So she had put on some running shorts and a tank top, and decided she would hit the gym, see if running was still her thing. Her brother had offered to go with her and then had disappeared with plans, June feeling betrayed that he'd choose Zach over her. Still she figured exercising was something she could try to get back into. June pulled the front door open and headed towards the desk, the lady smiling as she looked at the youngest March.
"Ms. March! It's been awhile since we've seen you! How are you doing?" Martha, the woman behind the desk, asked. June gave a genuine smile as Martha began to type into the computer.
"I'm doing fine. How are you?"
"Not too bad. You're all set." June smiled and gave the woman an appreciative nod, her ponytail swaying as she made her way towards the gym. It had been a long time since she had really exercised, most of her ability to stay in shape coming in the form of sprinting and running for her life.
June pushed the door open to the gym, her eyes dropping to her phone as she tried to find a playlist. A few texts from JJ popped up at the top and she swiped them away, letting out a sigh as she tried to drown out reality with music. She was struggling immensely in deciding if her decision was too hasty, and in some aspects she was asking for a sign, something to tell her she had done the right thing. Finally she got some music on, the girl making a beeline for the locker room. She then hurried out, hoping to catch a treadmill.
There was a few open, today apparently not being a busy day in the gym. She was quick to adjust it and decided to walk as a warm up, her eyes on the controls as she fixed her speed. She let the music blast in her ears and drown out the thoughts in her head that reminded her of the big life decisions she had been making. Everything was fine for a few moments before she heard a ding, her eyes lowering to her phone at what set up against the panel of the treadmill. She turned her head to see who had texted and realized it was JJ again, her heart skipping a beat as she saw his name.
She didn't know whether to hate herself or not because she had forgiven him. She remembered the girl who swore she would make him regret it, she felt like she had accomplished so that, he had been groveling for months, hoping to earn her back. Sometimes it felt like enough, but sometimes the sound of his voice telling her she didn't matter reverberated through her head, and she was reminded exactly why she had given him up in the first place.
Sarah's opinion on their relationship had bludgeoned the idea in her head that everything would just return to normal, a normal that she hadn't lived in in a long time. She felt like getting back together with him was like getting back with a completely different person, and she wondered if he felt the same. The June he used to know was not the one he was with now.
She turned the speed up, breaking into a jog as the music blared but could no longer drown out her thoughts. She asked again for a sign that she should continue, that everything would be okay, that they would actually make it this time. She turned the speed up. She wondered if she could find clarity soon, because the three days since had been torture, and while she wanted desperately to give herself to him fully, she was holding back for clear reasons. This was not a decision she was making lightly, she knew it wouldn't be, but she had opened a door for him and he had wedged his foot in, walking inside and making himself at home. She needed to know if she could live with that anymore.
