Chances of Time

Chapter 3

I was looking around while pouting my lips when I saw no sign of Michelle. I was getting tired. If hindi lang namin usapan na sabay kami uuwi, I won’t look for her na.

I stayed at the bench na madalas naming pag-stay-an ni Michelle here sa campus. Malapit na mag-start ang event ng SG and open for all ‘yon, I don’t want to join kaya maaga kong inaya si Michelle umuwi, but that girl is taking her time. If he was just here, maybe I would agree mag-celebrate ng Valentine’s day today.

I was pouting unconsciously as I watched some students from another school enter our campus. I am getting nervous. Ayoko mag-spend ng Valentine’s night here. Humanda talaga sa akin si-

“Harly-bebe!”

I immediately glared at Michelle. “Ang tagal mo naman!” I ranted.

“Sorry!” mahaba niyang sabi. “Na-jail booth ako kasi naka-long socks daw ako, nakakainis! Hindi ako makapag-bail out, need from outside, hindi ko alam kung paano ko masasabi sa’yo kaya hinintay ko pa matapos ang jail time ko.”

I just sighed. “Let’s go!”

“Teka, teka, teka naman, Harly!” She pouted. “Hindi tayo sasali sa Valentine’s night? Libre ‘to and maraming ibang school ang pupunta!”

I shook my head. “That’s why inaya kita nang maaga para hindi sumali eh.”

“Seryoso? Paano tayo mage-enjoy niyan?”

“Gusto ko na umuwi, Mich,” I answered her.

“It’s not fun, Harly. Enjoy muna tayo rito! Saglit lang, please?” pinahaba niya pa ang please niya that’s why I shook my head.

“Ayoko ng Valentine’s night, Michelle, I already told you my reason naman eh,” medyo hirap ko pang sabi. Why do I feel like parang paulit-ulit na lang ako?

“Wala naman ‘yang iniintay mo rito, and hindi ko naman sinabing lumandi ka sa iba. Be friends lang o kaya mag-enjoy ka alone,” suggest niya pa. “Sige na, Harly. Hahayaan mo bang walang makakalapit sa akin? Sayang ang ganda ko nito, bebe.”

I pouted. “You agreed na uuwi tayo nang maaga, I thought okay lang sa’yo, Mich?” nagui-guilty kong sabi.

Napaawang naman ang bibig ni Michelle. “I thought maagang uuwi ng gabi? Kaya akala ko magkikita lang tayo para magkasama tayo sa event.” At natawa pa siya. “My god, hindi tayo nagkaintindihan, Harly!”

I sighed. “Sana pala iniwan na talaga kita.”

“Grabe ka naman!”

I shrugged it off. “You should enjoy yourself here, uuwi na ako.”

“Ano?!” gulat pang react ni Michelle, and she stopped me from leaving. “Sumama ka na rito, Harly!” She shook me as if it could change my mind. “Tara na! Sabay tayong uuwi mamayang gabi, promise! Ihahatid pa kita para kapag pinagalitan ka, ako bahala!”

I shook my head. “Hindi ako papagalitan, I just don’t want to join there, Michelle,” halos paulit-ulit kong sabi.

“Eh? Kahit hanggang seven lang or seven-thirty?” I shook my head. “Six-thirty?” I was about to shake my head, but nagsalita ulit si Michelle. “Sige na! Kahit six forty-five lang, go mo na!”

“Ayoko nga, Michelle.”

“Kahit tumayo ka lang sa gilid, walang lalandi sa’yo, hindi ka manlalandi.”

“Kahit na,” firm kong sagot.

Umalis na ako sa dessert buffet since I already had tons of sweets na. I looked around para hanapin muli si Michelle, but she’s nowhere to be found. Slowly, I’m already regretting na I end up agreeing with her. Ayoko namang hindi siya makakapag-enjoy just because of me. I can go home alone, pero siya naman ang walang kasama pag-uwi, gabi pa man din.

Marami na ang tao pero patuloy pa ring dumarami. I don’t know kung paano ina-accommodate ng school ang lahat, but I am sure na for fun lang ang dahilan nila since this is an informal event and open to all.

Nanliit ang mata ko when I saw a familiar face na nasa crowd din. I unconsciously nodded my head as I remembered na nakita ko siya kasama ang ka-block ni Mich, and I realized, siya ang pinunta nito.

I searched for a drink at may nakita ako sa gilid na blue lemonade kaya I went there. After my drink, I was about to search for Michelle again when I saw Sam walking towards me. I smiled at him so I won’t look snob.

“Hi, naaalala mo ako?” bungad niya kahit hindi pa siya nakakalapit, but I know that it was me he was talking to.

I nodded. “Sam, diba? Sa park?” He chuckled as he nodded. “Hindi kayo magkasama ng kaibigan mo?”

“Nagkahiwalay kami, may hinahanap ‘yon.” I nodded to acknowledge ang sagot niya. “Ikaw? Mag-isa ka lang?”

I shook my head. “I’m only waiting for a friend, pauwi na rin,” habol ko pa when I looked at my watch.

“Hindi ka magtatagal?” I shook again. “Hindi ka nag-e-enjoy dito?”

“It’s not that, ayoko lang talaga. Pinagbigyan ko lang ang kaibigan ko, pero dapat kanina pa kami nakauwi.” He nodded. I smiled out of awkwardness. “If hindi lang nag-class ang isang sub ko kanina, I won’t come here in the first place,” I said awkwardly.

“Ahh. Dito ka nag-aaral din?” he asked, which I nodded. “Anong course mo?”

“Management Economics, first year, just in case it’s not obvious.”

“Halata naman.” He chuckled. “Kami rin man, hindi halatang first year,” natatawa pa niyang share sa akin, making my eyes go round.

“Seriously?” He nodded while chuckling. “So you’re here because of someone?”

“Someone?” nagtataka pa niyang tanong. “Hindi ah! Si Yabut ang may dahilan pumunta rito, nadamay lang ako.” Napailing pa siya. “Moral support daw.” I turned my head up and down because of his information. “May boyfriend ka ba? Kaya nagmamadali kang umuwi?”

I shook my head. “Wala, I just don’t want to spend my Valentine’s night here,” awkward kong sagot. “Ikaw? You’re here for?”

“Moral support?” natatawa pa niyang sagot.

“Aside from that?”

He shrugged. “Wala, sinamahan ko lang talaga si Yabut.” Then he gave me a warm smile.

I nodded, not forcing him to answer. Maybe he’s keeping it a secret, so I won’t ask anymore. We’re not close enough din para makielam kaya I shut my mouth na lang. We talked for a bit about the event, and when the agreed time was over, I was about to say my farewell to Sam to look for Michelle, but the music changed. I consciously looked at the stage when someone started speaking.

“To savor the moment, I am encouraging you to dance with who you are accompanied now. A stranger, colleague, friend, classmate, or loved one to feel the highlight of our event. Thank you for coming. I hope you enjoy the rest of the night.”

Awkward akong napatingin kay Sam na mukhang kanina pa nakatingin sa akin. I’m already formulating a way para makaalis since nakakahiya namang mapilitan pa si Sam makipagsayaw if may iba naman siyang gustong isayaw. And baka hinahanap na rin ako ni Michelle, or hindi.

“Sayaw tayo?” nag-aalangan pa niyang tanong. “Kung okay lang sa’yo,” habol niya pa. I pouted at tinanggap ang kamay niya because we are surrounded by people na sumasabay na sa music. I was also pushed palapit sa kaniya, so my only option is to be with Sam. Nahihiya rin akong tumanggi. Ang sincere ng pagkakatanong niya.

Mabagal ang paghinga ko at nahihiya. Hindi ko rin maiwasang hindi mapa-pout kahit naiilang ako.

“Kumportable ka ba?” mahina niyang tanong kaya bigla akong napatingin sa kaniya, which I regretted immediately. Sobrang lapit ng mukha namin sa isa’t isa at mas nakaramdam ako ng ilang so tumingin ulit ako sa iba before I shook my head.

“Sorry, I didn’t know na may ganito sila. Na-force ka pa tuloy isayaw ako,” nahihiya kong sabi at pasulyap-sulyap pa sa kaniya.

“Feeling ko nga ikaw ang napipilitan isayaw ako eh.” Awkward pa siyang natawa. “Gusto mo sumimpleng lakad tayo para makaalis tayo sa crowd?” Napa-pout lalo ako sa hiya. It seems like he doesn’t need my response, dahil nararamdaman ko nang nalilipat ang puwesto namin.

“Hindi mo naman siguro first dance ‘to, ‘no?” pagtatanong pa niya kaya napatingin ako sa kaniya. He was looking at the way he was making so hindi gaano nagtatama paningin namin. I shook my head nang magtama ang tingin namin since I didn’t want to say it verbally. “So okay lang kung ilalapat mo ‘yung kamay mo sa braso ko? Para hindi ko ramdam na hindi ka komportable.” Natawa pa siya. “Kung okay lang naman.” I pouted. I opened my fist then dahan-dahan ko na lang nilapat sa braso niya, as he requested.

Napaimpit ako ng hiyaw nang matulak ako kaya mas dikit na dikit ako kay Sam. Narinig ko pang sinaway ni Sam ang nakatama sa akin kaya mas nahiya ako, Napa-lean tuloy ako ng forehead mo sa chest niya. “Ganito muna ako, okay lang?” mahina kong tanong. Inulit ko pa ‘yon dahil hindi niya ako gaano narinig. Pumayag naman siya.

We talked about things, especially tungkol sa experience sa sayaw ang topic namin and awkward para akin dahil mas naaalala ko lang siya instead na si Sam ang nakikita ko.

“Kailan ka lang ba lumipat?” he asked when he found out na hindi ako rito nag-highschool.

“This January lang—a week before January,” I answered. “First day ko that time na tinawag ako ng kaibigan mo ng manang, which I misinterpreted.”

“Mahirap talaga mag-adjust sa una.” Nilapit niya ako sa kaniya then we switched places. That’s why I saw na nadidikit sa akin kanina ‘yung lalaking mukhang galing ibang school. “Gano’n din ako, pero siyempre iniisip ko na ilang taon din ako rito, ayokong mahirapan na lang lagi.” I realized while listening to him. Instead of holding my waist, umikot na ang mga kamay ni Sam around me kaya mukha na siyang nakayakap sa akin. “Kaya pinilit kong masanay.” I don’t know how I will ask him na ayusin ang hawak niya.

“I just started adjusting after ‘yung chaos na ‘yon.” I cleared my throat when someone bumped into me again kaya napayakap ako kay Sam. “I was so shy at Tope—” dahan-dahan kong inayos ang hawak ko as I continue talking so I won’t look uncomfortable. “—even to my parents kasi tinawanan nila ako at pinagalitan at the same time kasi hindi ako nag-adjust umpisa pa lang.” I formed a smile. “I didn’t help myself to adjust at first kasi akala ko same environment lang. I didn’t know na iba rito, iba sa kinalakhan ko.” I put a distance between us without trying to offend him.

“Anong kulay ng mata mo?” random niyang tanong kaya that’s why I looked at him. “Hindi ko kasi matukoy kung blue or gray.”

“It’s blue, I got it from my Dad.”

“Half Filipino?”

“Part of a blood lang, not sure either.” I shrugged. “Basta Spanish-Filipino ang mother side ko while Dad is a foreign blood, a pure British.”

“May kaibigan din ako sa Manila, Spanish-Filipino,” he randomly shared so I nodded. “Ang ganda ng mata mo.”

I looked at Sam. “Seryoso?” He nodded. “I was once told na ang awkward daw tumitig sa akin dahil sa mata ko.”

“Bakit?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.” I pouted. “Hindi siya sanay at first. He always has comments about sa eye color ko but eventually, nasanay na rin siya.”

Natahimik ulit kami pero nagsalita rin ulit si Sam mayamaya.

“Wala kang boyfriend diba?” I nodded hesitantly. “May manliligaw ka?”

Hindi ako nakasagot agad pero umiling din naman ako. “I’m not open for that,” agad kong sabi.

“May past relationship or sadyang ayaw mo lang?” I chose not to answer. “Or pareho?” I diverted my gaze. Nakita ko pang tumango-tango siya. “Sumosobra na ba ako?” natatawa pa niyang tanong.

“Mauuna na ako,” pagpapaalam ko. Before he could react, agad kong inalis ang kamay niya sa likod ko then I made my own way nang may humawak sa kamay ko at siya na ang nauna para makaraan ako.

“Dito na lang ako,” agad kong sabi nang makalabas kami sa crowd.

“Hatid na kita sa labas?” I shook my head. “Hindi mo na hihintayin ‘yung kasama mo?” Hindi na ako sumagot at nagmamadaling tumalikod saka naglakad palayp sa kaniya.

I missed him. Gusto ko na siyang makita ulit. I want to hug him right now. Wes… balik ka na.