Chances of Time

Chapter 4

“Bakit nga kasi nauna ka? May usapan tayo, Harly, remember? Nakakasama ka ng loob!”

I sighed, then pouted. Kanina pa ako kinukulit ni Mich about what happened yesterday. She even concluded scenarios like kung bakit ako nawala. One, hindi raw talaga ako naghintay sa kaniya. Second, may naka-date ako at hindi ko maiwan kaya nang dumating ang oras ng pagkikita namin, hindi ako nakasipot at umuwi na lang kasi late na. Then, sinabi rin niya na baka raw nagmukmok ako sa gilid kaya inagahan ko ang uwi so she won’t know. That’s how her imagination works.

“I was in a crowd at the time na na-set ko for you, but we both know na inabutan tayo ng night agenda last night….” I slowly explained it to her.

“Don’t tell me nakipagsayaw ka sa hindi mo kilala? Nabastos ka ba kaya nagmadali ka na umuwi?” Her voice switched from an intrigued tone to a concern one. “Oh my! Baka sa gitna ka pa kaya hirap makalabas and nag-overthink ako na iniwan mo na ‘ko kaya nauna akong umuwi?”

“I was there for eight to ten minutes—” I shook my head. “—not sure though… and honestly, I didn’t bother to look at our meeting place… I—ahm… I couldn’t think straight right after I chased away from the crowd.”

“Nabastos ka nga?” Umiling ako. “May nagsayaw sa’yo? Sino? Baka kilala ko at susugurin natin. Pinuwersa ka?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at her reaction. “Calm down, Mich.”

Her brows creased. “Paano ako kakalma, Harly? Iniwan ko ang kasayaw ko kagabi para lang maiwan mo? And may possibility pa na nabastos ka or what, dahil sa akin. So paano akong kakalma?” sunod-sunod niyang sabi, making me look down as I pouted.

“Hindi ako nabastos, Michelle, I promise you.”

“Ano nga kasi?” nauubusan na niyang pasensyang tanong. “Kindly tell me, bakit ka hindi nakapag-isip ng tama kagabi at iniwan mo ako?”

I stared at her for long before ko sinara ang librong binabasa ko to explain. “It’s not a big deal naman talaga, Mich. I just dwell on my past, kaya ako umuwi agad. I don’t want to ruin the mood you want to set for yourself kaya….” I didn’t continue explaining, dahil evident ang pagkairita ni Michelle sa sagot ko.

“Ruin the mood mo mukha mo!” She rolled her eyes. “Kanina lang sabi mo couldn’t think straight, ngayon ruin the mood?” She shook her head and smirked. “Huwag mo akong lokohin, Harly. Hindi ako pinanganak kahapon.”

“So why would I explain then?”

“Past,” tipid niyang sagot. Nagtitigan pa kami bago siya nagsalita ulit. “Anong nag-trigger sa’yo? Nakipagsayaw ka ba at naalala mo ‘yang ex mo? Or nakita mo ba siya? Did you see someone na kamukha niya kaya nawala ka sa ulirat at iniwan ako?” I gazed away. “Harly naman, move on, please? Don’t let yourself live in the past. Huwag ka namang ganiyan.”

“Hindi ko naman sinasadyang maisip siya,” mahina kong sagot. Pinilit kong ayusin ang paghinga ko so I could act like I was unaffected.

“May nakasayaw ka na katulad niya? Or kaugali?” I shook my head. “Opposite?” I pouted. “Paano ka makaka-move on niyan kung ikukumpara mo lahat ng makakasalamuha mo sa ex mo?”

I shook my head again. “I didn’t want to move on, wala akong sinabing gagawin ko ‘yon.”

“Pero kailangan mong gawin, Harly,” she emphasized her words.

I looked at her, trying to fight her nanenermon na tingin. “Ayoko naman talagang um-attend diyan. I don’t want to meet someone na tutulungan akong mag-move on. I don’t want to move on.” I shook my head as I bit my lips. “I promised him na hihintayin ko siya. I will wait, no matter what. And feeling ko, I cheated on him just by dancing with some guy who I rarely know.” I looked at her. I want to put the blame on her, but I just pouted more. “I was preoccupied nung sinayaw ako. It was a familiar move with an unfamiliar person. Nanibago ako, nagulat.” I was also amazed at his gentleness. “I was okay at first, casual ang conversation namin while he’s helping me makalabas sa crowd. Habang tumatagal, I felt guilty. I don’t like him, pero nakipagsayaw ako. I meant to dance only with….” I shook my head again. “Naiinis ako, Mich. I tried to be okay… I am trying, pero miss ko na siya. I am missing him desperately.”

“Harly….”

Mabilis kong pinunasan ang luha kong tumakas. I looked weird, holding a professional book under this large tree na suwerte naming napiling bench sa campus, wiping my tears like a fool. I chuckled at my situation.

“Sorry… pasok na ako sa klase ko.” I didn’t wait for her response at umalis agad. I told her my past relationship. It ended well, though it’s painful because we need to break apart just because he will leave our town for Manila. I understand na we’re both young for ldr, pero it’s not right to invalidate young love. Totoo pa rin naman ang feelings namin kahit base sa age namin, we were both young. Hindi ko matanggap ‘yung reason niya but I understand. He gave me assurance too, babalikan niya ako. Babalik siya. And what’s worse is hindi na niya ako mababalikan pa because I was far from wherever I used to be. Sobrang imposible na mabalikan niya ako, but I can hope, right? A girl can hope.

My day was smooth, kahit na may breakdown na nangyari early in the morning. I already saw Mich near the gates, kaya lumapit agad ako, hoping na uuwi agad kami.

“Café tayo?”

I pouted and shook my head. “I was about to ask you na umuwi tayo agad,” I said, hesitantly.

Nagtaka naman siya. “Tungkol ba ‘to kanina?” Immediately, I shook my head. Tinitigan pa niya ako bago ko siya narinig mag-sigh. “Next time na lang, ipapakilala ko sana sa’yo ‘yung na-meet ko kagabi.”

My eyes went round. “May date agad kayo?” amazed ko pang tanong. She shrugged and giggled. “Enjoy then?” She nodded. Sabay na kaming lumabas ng gate pero naghiwalay na rin agad. Which I regretted too early. Sana pala na-meet ko na lang ang ipapakilala ni Mich.

“Hi, buti nakita kita!” Agad naman akong nagtaka sa bungad ni Sam nang lumapit siya sa akin kaya hindi ko napigilang hindi mapahinto.

“Why?” I made sure I wasn’t sounding rude.

“Itatanong ko sana kung maayos kang nakauwi kagabi. Nagmamadali ka kaya nag-alala ako na mapahamak ko.”

I smiled to assure him. “I got home. Safe and sound, thank you.” Tumango-tango naman siya. “Moral support ka ulit ngayon?” I asked not to be rude. My inner self wants him gone, but ayokong maging rude. I don’t have many friends, but I don’t want enemies.

“Wala sa mood si Yabut, umuwi agad.” Tumango-tango naman ako but nabitin ang pag-nod ko sa dinugtong niya. “Sinadya talaga kita rito.” I was about to ask again but he continued. “Gusto ko lang talaga malaman kung nakauwi ka ba nang maayos kagabi… at sorry na rin kung sumobra ako.”

I shook my head. “No worries,” naiilang kong sabi. “Need ko na kasi umuwi,” nag-aalinlangan ko pang sabi. “I have things to do.”

Tumango siya. “Sure. Ayun lang talaga ang pakay ko.” Ngumiti ako at nag-thank you sa kaniya. Nagsimula na akong maglakad at napansin ko ring sumabay na siya sa akin but I didn’t make big deal out of it.

“Kilala mo si Olie?” Napatingin ako sa pago-open niya ng topic.

I shrugged. “I don’t know her personally, alam ko lang, panlaban siya ng department ng friend ko.” He nodded. I see you with her too. I wanted to add, pero nanahimik na lang ako.

“Interested si Yabut sa kaniya.” Bigla akong napatingin sa kaniya. He even nodded to support his statement. “Kaya madalas kami sa park at pumunta rito kapag may public event, para makita niya ang type niya.”

“Is that why you came here last night? Nililigawan niya ‘yung Olie?” I asked because it caught my attention.

Sam laughed as he shook his head. “Asa sa torpe na ‘yon!” natatawa pa niyang sabi, as if he was not backstabbing his friend. “Loko-loko ‘yun. Inaasar lagi si Olie kaya laging naaasar sa kaniya ‘yung tao. In denial din, kunyari hindi gusto pero gusto makita araw-araw.” I chuckled at his own words.

“So does your friend really like to find a new place near your campus? Kasi mapapalayo siya if oo,” I commented laughingly. I only met his friend, Tope, once or twice to judge his character pero to think how he converse with me, he’s kind and sensitive one, and I doubt na nang-aasar siya to catch attention. “It is possible pala talaga na maging move ng guy to his girl na asarin para mapansin? I thought, sa mga books lang ‘yon.” I chuckled.

He laughed. “At least, may kilala ka na?” I nodded and accompanied his laughter. “First sem pa lang, nakilala na namin si Olie at naging kaibigan, pero lumalayo lang dahil nga laging inaasar ni Yabut. Hindi naman tumitigil ang loko, tuloy pa rin sa ugali niya at kung hindi niya ako hinamon, hindi sana siya mahihirapan ngayon at nakakapang-asar pa rin siya.”

I raised my brows out of curiosity. “Why? Did something happen ba?”

Napaisip pa siya bago sumagot. “Sabihin na nating may ginawa ako para i-trigger si Yabut at may kumakagat ng plano ko.” He chuckled while nodding. “Kaya ngayon, wala sa mood si Yabut. Nagpakapagod sa training para madahilan na pagod na siya at uuwi agad imbis na pumunta rito.”

“And I’m curious why,” I couldn’t help but ask. “What happened?”

“Interested ka sa mga love stories?” natatawang tanong pa niya.

I pouted. “If real-life stories, yes.” I smiled. “Nakukuha nila ang attention ko, and my mind wouldn’t let me have peace if I didn’t know what you did. Feeling ko it was kinda big and important information. But you can tell me if it’s confidential, I respect naman.”

“Pero uuwi ka na, so next time na lang siguro?” I gasped as I remembered that I wanted to go home early. I was battling with my mind between going home early or be with Sam for some chika. “Next time na lang, baka may gagawin ka pa.” Sam smiled at me. I was pouting. “Dito na rin ako—” Tinuro pa niya ang daan opposite sa daraanan ko. “Mag-iingat ka, Harly!” I wanted to smile but naging ngiwi lang because I’m still in battle with my mind.

Nauna na siyang tumalikod kaya I have no choice but to turn my back and walk again while my mind is in chaos. I didn’t know that one interesting real-life story would caught my attention just like this. I don’t know if this was about the story or something else, but ang alam ko, I want to know what happened. I want to know what he did. Is he acting cupid or what? Why is it important for him na makisali sa love story of the two? And… when is that next time?

I stopped walking as I realized what I needed to do. I want to go home, but I want to know something. I breathed in and out before I decided to turn back again and look for his retreating back. I slowly walked to see kung nasa same direction pa rin siya at unti-unting binilisan ang lakad when I found him.

I walked as fast as I could. I could call him pero ayoko ng attention, so as soon as I went near him, I grabbed his hand. Muntik na kaming tumama sa isa’t isa but he was well guarded, kaya napigilan niya ang pagtatama namin. I saw his expression, and even though he’s on guard, his shock was visible on his face.

“Harly,” he called my name hesitantly, slowly recovering from his shock. “Bakit?”

I pouted as shame consumed me. Ngayon ko lang na-realize ang ginawa ko, and I was ashamed. I couldn’t find my voice, which is why curiosity filled Sam’s eyes.

“Okay ka lang? Bakit?” nag-aalala na niyang tanong, that’s why I cleared my throat and fixed my thoughts at their best.

“I was wondering kung kailan ka free so you can continue your story about your friend….” I tilted my head to process kung anong sinabi ko. “Kung okay lang sa’yo, Sam.” Siya naman ngayon ang hindi nakasagot sa akin. I pouted, twisting them side-by-side. “Or I can give you my number para magkaroon tayo ng contact, and vice versa.”

“Gano’n ka kainteresado sa kuwento ko?”

I smiled shyly. “And I also want to treat you as an apology for what happened yesterday, iniwan kita sa pagmamadali. I have no intention of being rude to you, you know.”

“Okay lang ‘yon—”

“Then we should exchange numbers para if ever we agreed to see each other, I could treat you and you could share the story of your friend’s love story. Para patas tayo.” I smiled. He was hesitating, but slowly, nakita kong may kinukuha siya sa bulsa niya, so I got my cellphone out of my bag and gave it to him. Inabot niya rin ang kaniya kaya I tapped his keypad to input my cell number.

“Magiging busy ako these days para sa practical exam namin…,” he said when he gave back my cellphone. He still look hesitating, so I nodded, assuring him.

“Then next week or whenever you and I are free,” I guaranteed him. “So we’re friends na ah?” He couldn’t answer. He was still shocked and awed. I smiled. “I’m glad we’re friends, Sam. See you next time!” I even waved my hand.

He nodded… chuckling.