groupie

-sixteen-

"Do you like him?" SeungMin mumbles, picking at his food awkwardly.

"Yeah—but I don't know in what way." EunChae admits with a soft sigh. The heavy silence that fell over the two of them for the last fifteen minutes truly left her feeling uneasy.

"Does that matter? As long as you like him—what's the big deal?" SeungMin glances up at her, unsure if she's truly ready to face this conversation—especially with him.

"Because I'm confused. I don't know what like is anymore. I thought I liked Chan—but my like for him became obsessive—so I convinced myself it was love. But I feel like love shouldn't be like that. Then there's you and the boys—I know I like you all—but I like you all differently, too. I just don't know anymore." EunChae begins to break down, abandoning her food she barely touched to begin with.

"You know I'm always here to listen and hear you out. I'll never judge you or give you any advice you don't want." SeungMin pushes his own plate toward the center of the table.

"Unless you can tell me what love is and feels like—then there's nothing you can do." EunChae leans back in her seat, her head resting against the wall. She can't help but feel relieved SeungMin insisted on sitting in a more secluded booth for her sake.

"Love? I'm pretty good at that one." SeungMin chuckles, his eyes glued on her troubled face.

"What is it, Minnie? How do I know?" EunChae leans forward, staring directly into SeungMin's eyes in search of all the answers she's missing.

"Well—I can't promise it's the same for everyone—but for me—for me love is being filled with pure happiness when the person I love is happy and enjoying themselves. It's like breathing the freshest air while bathing in the warmest sunlight just from being beside them. The very thought of seeing them makes every challenge I may face worth it. It's a warm tingly feeling when we bump arms or hold hands. It's the constant nagging of my heart telling me to hold them and never let them go—even if they don't want me to in the moment. It's lots of sorrow when they're feeling lost or troubled. The hardest part is craving the chance to show them just how I feel, but never knowing when that chance is going to come around. Part of me feels like it might be soon, but I also don't want to do it too fast and make things complicated." SeungMin falls into a daydream as he shares his own views of love.

The words are more sincere than EunChae had imagined they would be. While still a complete mystery to her, she can tell he's felt the one thing she's trying to decipher.

"It's always gonna be Chan—isn't it, Minnie? I'm never going to escape him." EunChae collapses back into her pit of misery. Her undying need for Chan something she can't escape no matter how hard she tries.

"Maybe not, Chae. Maybe what you feel for him is your own version of love." SeungMin admits with a soft sigh. He doesn't want it to be true, but he knows it very well could be.

"But it feels so wrong. If it's love—then why doesn't he act like it back? He just tries to get rid of me. I know ChangBin said it was all to protect me—but I don't know if I believe him." EunChae chews on her bottom lip as she eyes her phone.

"MinHo said he's sick—but I'm sure he'd make an exception for you—even if he said he was done with you." SeungMin relays the news he'd been told in confidence. MinHo hadn't wanted her to know out of fear she'd try to see him and make things worse on herself.

EunChae struggles internally, not wanting to abandon her time with SeungMin, but also needing more than anything to make sure Chan is alright. How sick is he? Too sick to see her? Too sick to answer her calls or texts?

"If you want to call, we should go home. It's not a call you should be making where people might overhear." SeungMin begins to collect his things, more than ready to abandon their time for her sake.