groupie

-fourteen-

"Why are we here exactly?" MinHo mumbles, leaning back against the planters behind him. His fingers gently rake through JiSung's hair in his lap.

"Cuz I'm the asshole and I needed to not feel like the asshole for five minutes." JiSung whispers, his heart truly aching at the thought of the other two blaming him for it all. While he knows it's on all three of them, he is guilty of being a bit of an ass, but he hadn't thought it'd go over as poorly as it had.

"You're not an asshole." MinHo sighs, staring down at the boy's devastated face. The start of tears in his twinkling eyes breaks his heart. JiSung is full of love and only love. When he messes around with someone there's always a loving intention laced behind it.

"I'm a huge fucking asshole. If I tell you what I did—you'd be pissed at me, too." JiSung sniffles, trying to hold it all in, but cracking under the direct pressure.

"You're not an asshole." MinHo repeats with sincerity. "You may do some things an asshole might do, but for different reasons than just being an asshole."

"You wouldn't say that if I told you what I did." JiSung shakes his head, closing his eyes tightly.

"I won't make you tell me. I'm fine not knowing right now, pretty sure I'll be fine not knowing a week from now." MinHo shrugs, unaffected by his lack of knowledge on the topic.

"We're just as bad as they are—you know that—right?" JiSung reaches up to gently wrap his fingers around MinHo's wrist.

"Huh? Just as bad as who—and why?" He glances down to meet the younger's eyes.

"We're lying, too." JiSung states coldly as he stares up at the confused boy with pale grey eyes. He'd clearly been playing with his contacts when JiSung called him, but JiSung can't help but love the icy-like color.

"We're not lying 'bout nothing." MinHo sighs, not wanting to play into JiSung's trap. He knows what he's talking about, but if they don't face it head on—they aren't lying about anything.

"Not lying my ass. Not talking about it is still lying." JiSung groans, but let's it slide. There's no point dragging it out into the open and ruining his only comfort place in a time he needs it most.

"We don't need to talk about something that's already figured out silently. What's the point of digging up all the dirty information and saying it out loud for others to possibly overhear? If we get to a point where we have to—then we can—but there's no point in sight." MinHo delicately pries the boy's fingers from his wrist, placing his hand on his chest before going back to playing with his hair.

"I feel like I'm living a lie, Min. A lie that's gonna eat me alive. One that's gonna destroy everything I've worked so hard for. I don't wanna push you out of your comfort zone though. I don't wanna make you talk about something you don't wanna—but sometimes I just—I wish we would." JiSung explains softly, allowing his eyes to flutter shut.

"They'll find out. It's gonna be hard for them not to. We're all too twisted together now. It'll happen soon, Sungie. The time we have the talk will come and we'll do it then. We'll figure it all out together—but only when the time comes. For now—let's just enough this—these silent moments between the two of us—the best part of the day." MinHo points out the obvious. They can't hide it forever—it's bound to come out.

"They already know, Min. They know. They just won't force it out of me. They want me to tell them first." JiSung whispers, well aware his secret isn't safe from the two older boys back home. They've known for quite some time, but they don't push too much. They tease and poke sometimes, but never in a serious manner.

"Then we'll wait until you're ready." MinHo reassures him, hoping and praying he doesn't say he's ready now. JiSung maybe, but he's not.

How can he break the news to the others so soon after their debut? What's he supposed to say? I know our career is literally dangling over a bit of raging fire right now, but I'm doing something that could fuck it up completely and ruin everything we worked so hard for—no—never in a million years.