greatest desires

chapter 12

"Leyla cmon, it's not as bad as it sounds." Jace says, taking a step closer to me, but that only results in me taking a step back, not wanting to be any closer to the person that I thought I loved the most.

how could he be like them? A cold hearted killer?

I don't know what to think, I thought jace was a sweet, well mannered gentleman, but to find out he's in the mafia, has changed my complete view of him. He's not normal, what kind of normal person, would do a sick job like that?!

He's a murderer.

That's what grey meant when he said "it was either me or him." It was either them that died, or their enemy's, so that's what they did. They killed them.

If jace hadn't of killed the enemy, the enemy would've killed jace.

Sure I'd rather jace be alive than dead, but why couldn't they have just knocked them out or something, not kill someone.

Jace is a murderer.

Greys a murderer.

The two boys who I loved the most, one who has raised me from a child, nurtured me and loved me because I was myself.

and the other that has made me feel ways I've never felt before, who loved me further than family, they aren't who I thought they were. They aren't good people. They're bad, bad people.

I take a few steps back, looking to Lana to see a sympathetic look as her eyebrows crinkle together, she knew? How did she know, but I didn't?

I'm so done with them.

"why was I never told this?." I stutter, unsure if being around them was safe anymore.

"Because I was worried you'd freak out, like you are. I'm sorry leyla, but it's the truth, and nothing will change that." Jace explains pulling me towards him and into a hug, but I push away, putting my hands on his chest and push him as far away as I can.

Pain shoots through my spine when I see his face, his face that once lit up with joy whenever he hugged me, now in sadness.

As much as it hurts seeing his expression change to a sad, sorry look, I can't stand to feel his touch anymore. He's a killer. He's not my brother, he's a cold, hearted, killer.

He had someone else's red on his hands, he's responsible for the death of another, and what did he gain?

"Don't touch me! I don't want to be anywhere near you jace!" I scream, running up to my room and slamming the door shut, I want to stay as far away from him as I can.

I couldn't even look grey in the eyes, I'd let him touch me, kiss me, and I'd even told him things I'd never, ever told anyone before, yet he didn't tell me he was in the mafia?

The same fingers that touched me, have touched the blood of another humans body, the lifeless bodies that him and my dearest brother have killed.

i rush to my phone, typing in the number of someone i hadnt spoke to in atleast 4 ish years, and press call. Hearing the phone ringing once, then twice, then a third time, and yet, no answer. straight to voicemail. I didn't expect him to answer anyways, he's been gone for 4 years, it's not like he can just come back from the dead.

i sigh, leaning against the door and waiting for a response.

how could jace ever do this to me?

he was always against violence whenever dad would start on me, yet, his job is one of the most violent out there? how does that make sense.

I hear my phone vibrate, and get a call from a no caller Id, guess I'll have someone to talk to, even if it is a scammer.

I answer expecting a scammer to say something.

"Hello ? " I hear the speaker.

Oh my god, he actually answered.

greys pov.

"Leyla cmon, it's not as bad as it sounds." Jace says, stepping closer to her, she looks at him, almost in fear and steps back, screaming at him to stay away.

I've never seen her like this before, normally she loves her brother, he's like her bestfriend, yet one small thing changed everything.

"Lou." Is the only thing that would come out of my mouth, part of me feels guilty for her, she found out that myself and her brother are part of the mafia, of course she's going to be scared.

She's the least violent person I know, she'd never even hurt a fly, yet she knows she's living with gang members now, it's a big change.

I see her and jace arguing, but she keeps her eyes on the floor at all time, as if looking at someone's going to make her just as bad as us.

please look at me.

Thats all I need, I need her eyes to meet mine, so I can tell her it's all okay, and that we'd never, ever hurt her. But she won't look at me, as much as I beg, she won't.

I've never really cared before about what people think of me, but since I've met Lou, she's the only thing that's ever on my mind. I don't know why, she can be the most annoying person in the world, yet the most loving.

I cant let her hate me.

"why was I never told this?." She stutters, taking steps further away from us. I can hear her voice break as she speaks, like she's going to shatter into a million little pieces if she stays close to us.

"Because I was worried you'd freak out, like you are. I'm sorry leyla, but it's the truth, and nothing will change that." Jace explains to her, and he did better than I did, he then goes to pull her into a hug, something I wish I could've had the guts to do.

"Don't touch me! I don't want to be anywhere near you jace!" She yells, and at that point I can tell he's heartbroken. His own sister, telling him that she doesn't want to be near him, it hurts.

I see his face drop, his world around him breaking at the thought of not being able to hug her. He backs up, nodding and letting her have her space, but I notice a small tear building up in his eyes.

Fuck.

She runs off, and I assume she went to her bedroom, because I hear the door slam shut, hard enough that she could've broke it.

Jace looks at me, panic threatening his face, and I'm clueless for what to say. Do I just tell him it's okay? That she'll forgive us? What do you even say in a situation like this.

I look over at lana and signal for her to go to him, she'd be better at comforting him than I am. Fuck man, why do things have to be so difficult.

She walks over to him, embracing him in a long hug, and wrapping her arms around his neck whilst his hands are on her waist, god, I wish that was me and Lou right now.

She gives him a soft peck on the lips, placing her hands on his face and reassuring him that it's all going to be okay, and that leyla will get over it. But why can't that be leyla reassuring me right now, why can't I have her in my arms.

That's all I need right now, is for her to come running back, saying that she forgives us, that she forgives me. I need her arms around me and mine around hers, but I'll give her space, as long as she needs. Even if it's slowly breaking me.

I suck at this love shit. Why did she make me fall in love with her.

Authors note

Grey said the L wordddd, he loves herrr

I am so, so sorry for such a short chapter, I've lost motivation and have no idea on what to write for this book, plus I'm working on a new book, darkest desires, a sequel for this one.

I'm already in love with that book, the first 2 sneak peak chapters are out, and I'm writing the others currently, I'm expecting atleast 60 chapters.

I cannot wait.

I love you all!!