greatest desires

Chapter 20

Grey hasn't been around very much lately, he's always out till around 11pm then comes home to sleep, then he's left again before im even awake.

It's like he purposely tries to avoid me, like I'm just a burden to him and it honestly breaks my heart every time. I don't know what I did.

But today I am going to wake up before him. I'll corner him, force him to tell me the issue, and we'll all be okay again, perfect plan! Yeah sure. As if my plan was actually going to work.

Other than the fact I'll have to wake up before 6am. Not perfect.

I am definitely not and have never been an early bird, I cannot stand the fact of waking up early, but grey is worth it. I'll do it for him. I'd do anything for him, catch a grenade for him. He's just different. I never thought it would be grey, but his stupid humour, and his sarcastic comments, and the way he comforts me, I could list so much more. It just makes him perfect, and I loved him for that. I think.

I struggle in my sleep, stressing that I'm going to oversleep and miss the alarm. I worry that I'll be too late and he'll leave without me. Maybe I'm just overthinking it, I don't know. God I hate being an over thinker.

I sigh, wrapping myself into the covers and moving about in my sleep, hoping I'll just sink into a deep slumber, just waiting for the 5:45am alarm to sound. Then it'll all be good again.. me and grey will be fine..it'll be like nothing ever happened, me and him, us..

I shoot up, hearing nothing but silence surrounding me, it's sunny outside, which means it's clearly later on in the morning already. Shit. I missed my alarm, how?!

I sit up, searching and patting the bed down from my phone and checking the time. 7:21am. Great. I missed him. Of course I did, I should've known this would never had worked. I sigh, hitting my head and instantly regretting it, a pounding headache already starting to form.

I wander around the kitchen, preparing breakfast for me jace and Lana. She's pretty much moved in now, her and Jace sleep together so I don't see much of both of them since they're always with eachother. It's so weird seeing my brother love someone like that. He's usually harsh with people, he doesn't let them in and pushes them away, but there was a spark with her that he just couldn't let go.

I wish me and grey were like that.

I don't know why I'm even saying that, I mean, I have a boyfriend for gods sake. But I don't think I even like him, I just didn't want to be rude. And it's not like me and Grey ever actually were anything. It's like friends with benefits. We were just friends that kissed. Friends that are there for eachother, you know, it's normal right? Kissings normal.

I don't think friends are supposed to kiss though.

I swear I literally only turned around for two seconds. But the next thing I know, the whole pan has gone up in flames and the bacons being cremated.

Oh my god I'm going to die.

"Shit- Jace!" I scream, backing up and panicking, unsure on what to do to stop it. Blowing at the fire acting as if it was helping at all, but in reality it was just making it worse.

"Jace help!" I scream again repeatedly, until I hear him rushing down the stairs and to me with a- what the- a whole gun in his hand?! Good god he's on something different.

"Oh my god Leyla. You can't scare me like that." He sighed, placing his pistol on the table and putting the fire out. "I thought someone was here." He muttered. How did he do that so easily.

It was like he could switch emotions so fast. He reminded me of dad. He could go from happy to mad, or stressed out to the calmest person on earth. I don't understand men.

"Who would be here, all I did was almost set fire to the kitchen, no big deal" I shrug, pretty much trembling but I wasn't going to let him see that.

"No big deal? Are you crazy?" He taps my face lightly, clearly trying to knock some sense into me when I look to my left and see grey, holding a knife in his left hand and his eyes locked on me.

So he never left?

He notices that I've seen him and turns around, walking back to his bedroom I assume and locking himself away again. I sigh, I was desperate for him, I needed him back. I just want us back, me and him, the stupid bond we had, where we were horrible yet loving to eachother. I miss it.

I'm a terrible person.

"What's his problem" I whine, practically begging for answers at this point. All I want is my Grey back, well not My Grey. But just the normal grey. The one that would pick me up from work. The one that would kiss me before bed, the guy that could be so miserable to others but a ray of sunshine towards me. I want him back. My boyfriend that's not actually my boyfriend, but technically he is. Situationship.

"You wouldn't understand." He sighs, tucking his gun into his joggers waistband and leaning
against the kitchen island.

"Why wouldn't I. I'm no different to you." I huff, getting frustrated now.

"Look leyla, Grey and Seth just don't get along okay, and him seeing you around seth just set something off. He doesn't want anything to do with you anymore. He said you chose Seth over him and that was it." He blurts, letting it all out.

It sunk into me what I had done, and I gulped, a hard lump forming into my throat. I was stuck to choose between my childhood bestfriend and my situationship.

That's not fair.

Although. I think I know the answer, but somethings pulling me away from it.

This chapter is crap I know, but I had one reader who motivated me to waffle and I wrote all this is less than 30 mins, so deal with it.

Thank you for being encouraging, I love you all.

I stopped writing for around a month, I was still active but just not writing because I have no ideas for this book, but I am trying I promise, even if it's bad I will try get an ending on it.

I've been working on my new book darkest desires, I'm in love with it and I know what I'm doing, and the first chapter is already out and I have 7 wrote now. Long chapters.

Thank you for reading.

And putting up with me.