greatest desires

back to present

"while I'm here, can we talk about what happened between us." He mutters, and I nod. I need answers. Why did he leave me like that? Was it me? What did I do wrong?

"It's not you leyla, I promise." He sighs, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

"While I was on the job, I was going to text you. I needed to tell you I was okay and was going to see you, but your father kinda saw. He questioned me on why I was messaging you, and ended up reading them all. I tried to stop him I really did, but I was no match for him." He answers, and I look at him in disbelief, he knew?

"He forced me to leave, he said I wouldn't have any contact with you and he would kill you if I ever spoke to you again. I'm sorry leyla."

"It was a stupid mistake. Yet it cost me my life." He sighs, and I pull him in for a right hug. I wish I'd known, I always knew my father was horrible, but I never thought he would ruin my love life.

After me and Seth well, did stuff, I tried to forget. I didn't want to remember that he had touched me, I thought he had ghosted me after being with me. I thought he didn't want me. So I restarted, I pretended like it never happened. I didn't want to ever remind myself of it, so I told people I had never kissed anyone, and I made it clear that I had never done anything. I wanted to forget.

I felt so angry at him for leaving my like that, with no contact whatsoever, but now, I regret my emotions. I should've known he wouldn't have just disappeared with no answer. What an idiot I was.

I sigh, covering my face with my hands and try to take in everything he just said, but what does this mean now? Are we something? Do we just resume what we ended on? I don't know if I feel what I did for him when I was a kid anymore.

"Hey hey, stop overthinking it sweetheart. I know we had a connection as kids, but it's not even legal for us to be together at this point, your 17, I'm 20 now. Even if I wanted to, we can't." He sighs.

It's not like me and grey hadn't kissed. And we've got a bigger age gap than me and Seth, he's 23, I'm 17.

Guess I like my men older.

(I made up Seth's age on the spot, don't question my maths..)

I nod, agreeing with him. Getting together with him would just make things awkward, and Grey. Well, I'm not sure about grey, I don't know if I want to be with someone that kills. But then-

"Seth, what was the job my father asked you on?" I mutter, trying to clear my questions.

He clears his throat, maybe that wasn't the best thing to ask, but I need answers. I wanna know if he's like them. If they're all linked.

"Well.. do you know what your brother does for a living leyla?" He sighs, running his hand through his hair and avoiding eye contact with me.

"Yes." I reply, blankly.

"Me and him do the same thing. But after being rejected by your father, I had to leave, I moved to another mob, convinced them I was worthy of their trust. And yeah, it took a while, but it al worked out in the end."

Great. He's like them.

I sigh, maybe I should just accept it, but what if they change one day? What if they're really that bad. What if my brother goes against me? Damn.

I nod, I guess I'll just have to deal with it, and if they do change, so be it. I still can't believe lana knew though. Oh my god, don't tell me lanas with them.

"Can I have a hug?" I mutter to seth, wanting to feel warm again, I feel his bulky arms pull me in, moving me onto his lap and making me feel like a baby being cradled. I rest my head on his shoulder, embracing the feeling and trying to make it last forever. God, I love hugs.

Then a knock and a creak as the door slowly makes it's way open, and I see greys head poke though. A soft slightly disappointed look appears on his face.

I sigh, and his expression changes instantly, back to the cold stare like when I first met him.

He clears his throat,

"Your brother wants to speak to you. Hurry up." He mutters, then turns, walking away as if nothing actually happened between us.

Greys pov.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I want to go in there. I wanna see who the fuck is talking to my girl. Who does he even think he is? Barging in and taking advantage of her when she's sad and distressed? I'm supposed to be the one to comfort her. It's supposed to be me. Not some rando she knows.

I pace outside her door, counting my steps as I build up the courage to go speak to her. What if she loves him. What if she just forgets about me, who even is that guy? I know it's a guy since he has a deep ass voice.

I knock.

Slowly creaking the door open, and instantly regretting my choices. Peering in, I see her touching the other guy, whose face I can't quite seem to work out. He looks familiar.

She's straddling him, while he wraps his arms around her and plays with her hair. I hear soft sniffles coming from her, showing she'd recently been crying, and god, I wish I could've been with her. I hate seeing her cry.

It's funny really, not even 4 months ago I hated her guts. She was irritating, but almost in a good way. I enjoyed her presence, but hated to admit it. So I pushed her away. Multiple times.

But I'm ready now, I'm ready to be in a relationship with her, I think I'm stable enough. I think I'm enough for her. But clearly not. Not after I've seen her with.. with..

Him?

The Fuck?

Seth?

Soft boy seth?

The kid we used to take the piss out of for always hanging with our boss' daughter? Leyla was my young boss' daughter. How did I not know?

Oh shit. It's seth. I used to work beside him as a child, we'd go on missions together with jace, we were a trio, me jace and Seth.

I sigh, forming a emotionless look on my face, not admitting the heartbreak I was feeling right now, and say.

"Your brother wants to speak to you. Hurry up."

I practically cough it out, trying to avoid the lump forming in my throat and leave the room as quickly as possible. I don't want to be there to see her and him. I know how close they always were.

It's not like I'm madly in love with her or anything, I mean, love isn't real, it's just a statement. But what I feel for her isn't just friendly.

Fuck. Someone help me, I feel like I'm going crazy.

I'm back😗
You miss me hm?

Greys falling hard, like, really hard.

Sorry this update took so long to post, it's currently 12:22am and I can't sleep, so I decided to finish this chapter, apologies for how long it took.

What do you think?

I opened my phone to 86 notifications earlier.. whoever you are, you know who you are, thank you.

I love seeing people interact with my books, it honestly brings so much joy looking through all of them, and although I may not reply to all, I do read them all.

Especially leylas stripper fandom quotes.

Anyways,

I'll see you next time

Love Cora
<3