Reframe - Tsubaki x Kousei

Yours, Tsubaki Sawabe

Kousei dries his hair with a towel. 

I wanted to run my fingers through it that day. 

I avert my gaze to the stovetop, where I am heating miso soup my mom cooked last night. 

I had some the night after my softball team didn't make it to finals and, with Kousei, the day after Kousei's mom passed. 

In a way, the soup was a blanket. 

I scoop the steaming dish into two soup bowls and carry them to Kousei in the living room. 

"Itadakimasu," we express gratitude for our food.

Kousei devours the miso soup, scooping each bite after another. He nearly scorches the roof of his mouth with the way he is eating. 

I look at him, taking a spoon of the soup and swallowing, "Kousei?" 

He pauses, looking at me, an eyebrow raised.

"Have you eaten since before your performance?" My eyebrows furrow. 

His eyes return to the bowl in front of him. 

"Oh," I sigh. 

I was right. You don't have anyone to hug you. 

Kid brother turns to me, asking, "Have you slept?" 

I shake my head, exhaling as I lean against the couch behind me. 

"But you can't fool me; I know you haven't either," I counter. "You've played more piano than even breathed these last 24 hours." 

He brings a spoon of miso soup to his mouth, humming a semblance of "Hm" in response. 

"And what have you been doing?" 

I hug my knees. 

When is it the proper time to tell your best friend you've been thinking about him this whole time when you're empty yourself? 

"It doesn't matter." I hide my head with my hands. 

You're waiting for me.  As I act like a coward. Like some dependable idiot I know. 

Kousei cocks his head to the side, "You sure?". 

You press me gently, which is more than enough.  

It starts to rain, but not outside. Just in the palms of my hands. 

"Hey," he brings a hand to my back. "Do you want me to stay with you?" 

"I don't care if you leave or stay!" I sob. 

Plus, this is your house... 

"Then, I'll stay." 

Heat rises to my cheeks with every stroke of his hand, wiping away my tears. 

My eyes widen, and Kousei gives me that smile again. 

Just like when we were small kids. 

I nearly fall weak with the weight of time before he catches me and rests my head on his shoulder.

I feel ridiculous; here you are, mourning the loss of not only an incredible violinist but your first love.  

Yet you're comforting me. 

In between tears, I protest, "I'm supposed to comfort you, idiot!" 

And you remain seemingly unfazed. 

"Let me comfort you for once, Tsubaki," he suggests. "Besides, anything for my sister." 

I don't want to be siblings anymore. 

But instead, I nod, and he carries me on piggyback down the hallway. 

'How is he doing this on so little sleep?' I yawn. 

"You're light, Tsubaki, despite all the muscles you build from softball."

I smack him in the head. "Hey, are you saying my effort is for nothing?" 

He chuckles, "No, Tsubaki." 

We reach the spare bedroom. 

"Hey, Tsubaki?" 

"Yeah, Kousei?"

"As much as you might want to change, the same old Tsubaki is cool the way she is." 

I bury my head in his back, fighting back tears. 

"What's wrong?" He lowers me to the bed and lays a blanket over me. 

 I can only imagine how wide his eyes must be right now. And how much his eyebrows are raising. 

"I want to be... " I doze off. 

Yours, 

Tsubaki Sawabe 

I sign months later.