𝒞𝓁𝒶𝓇𝒾𝓉𝓎'𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝒹ℯ𝒶𝓉𝒽 （𝒜 𝒸𝒽ℯ𝓃𝒻ℴ𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓊）

Chapter four: All I did was bleed

A/N: This chapter will be all in Lucy's perspective, and be set within a week of the last chapter. I would like to issue a trigger warning for mentions of sexual assault, depression, and suicidal thoughts, if you are triggered please skip this. Title is from You're losing me by Taylor Swift.

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I'm dying, I feel like I'm dying, I wish I was dead. The fact that she wasn't made it even worse. She was very much alive, she only felt like she was dying. She quickly regretted actually coming down for breakfast that morning very quickly, stepping out of her room alone overwhelmed her with a since of dread, leaving the house which she only did to go to her appointments nearly caused her to have a panic attack each time, she wasn't expecting anything different today. Until she overheard her parents conversation, when she attempted to step into the dining room. "We need to get her a new therapist Patrick, she's making no progress. She's practically dead, she doesn't talk, she doesn't move or eat, or sleep. She can't keep doing this." Was the words she heard from her mother, and though it broke her, she knew it was true, and for once her mother seemed genuinely concerned. "She'll be okay, it's still fresh. Three weeks of therapy isn't going to fix it, no matter who she's seeing."

She didn't know why she wanted to sob, fix it, fix her. Truth be told she tried to fix herself her whole life, tried not to take up so much space, tried to be kind and caring, and supportive, but still smart, and she succeeded up until three weeks ago, she use to believe that maybe if she faked being happy long enough she actually would fix the part of herself that, and now it was completely shattered for good, she couldn't even pretend to be happy due to how miserable she was, how dead she felt inside. "Well she needs to get out of that room, she's getting far too skinny, she won't even eat anything." Her mother said, and that's when her dad said the worst thing she could have possibly heard. "Well maybe school will get her mind off it." Her father said, and that's when she barged in, they were going to make her go back to school? With Pierson?! They must have completely lost their minds. "Are you kidding me?" She asked, and this time her tone wasn't weak or shaky like it had been for the past three weeks, she was pissed.

Her parents didn't say a single word to her, looking at each almost as if she wasn't there, this only made her even more upset. "You want me to go back go school, with him?!" She asked beyond furious at this point, how could they do this. "Lucy honey, they are building a case against him, it won't be for long he'll end up in jail." She only scoffed in response, what was the school's excuse for not expelling him? "Yeah right. With Ashley's dad defending him? I highly doubt it. Why can't he be expelled? It happened at school." She asked as if her parents knew the answer, she couldn't help but be angry at them, it wasn't their fault, it was his, but she couldn't help but think if they would've taken her complaints about him seriously, if anyone would have taken it seriously this wouldn't have happened, because she begged, begged for months for anyone to do something about the harassment she'd been facing, and for months everyone ignored it, so she wasn't to surprised that once again Pierson Macgrady got off with absolutely no consequences to his actions, and the thought only made her want to scream.  "I don't know sweetie." And this time it was her mother who answered, in a tone she rarely recognized from her mother, and the realization came over her that this was in fact her father's idea.

She decided she was done, done speaking, and simply sat down to eat her breakfast, before she started screaming, crying, or hyperventilating at the same time. "Honey, do you want to talk about this?" Her father asked, and she only glared at him. "Mom can you drive me today?" She asked, completely ignoring her father, even more irritated because he saw first hand how bad the harassment had gotten by the winter formal, how he regularly grabbed her, tried to touch her, the horrible things he said to her, and her dad wanted her to go back to that, the betrayal she felt was almost as bad as the pain she felt from having her innocence ripped away from her. "Of course Lucy." She told her, and she only nodded a bit and continued to eat her food.