Ordinary Confession | HoonSuk [✓]

05

Click! Click!

I've been hearing the shutter sounds for almost half an hour. It's Hyunsuk hyung taking pictures of random things in my apartment. He just got the new camera and is currently testing it. In my apartment. It's not like I dislike having Hyunsuk hyung in my apartment. But just imagine having the person you like in your own house. Your personal space. I just couldn't stay still. I've been cleaning my sink and everything in the kitchen. The way I'm cleaning now is just more thorough than the other days. I didn't even use my kitchen yet today but now I'm cleaning it as if I just cooked for more than 10 people. Now my kitchen can even reflect my own reflection.

It's just to make sure that I put a decent distance between me and Hyunsuk hyung. Hyunsuk hyung is currently in the living room, testing his new camera while watching Netflix. If you wonder why Hyunsuk hyung is here, I somehow bumped into him on my way home at the subway station. And Hyunsuk hyung was with some people who I believe are his clients. They asked him for a drink but as soon as he saw me, he quickly told them that he already had a plan with me. That we are close friends who barely could see each other because of our work and tonight is the only time that we manage to match our free time.

I thought that Hyunsuk hyung would just go home after his plan succeeded. But he just followed me back to my apartment. He even dropped by the convenient store near the apartment complex I'm living at to buy some beers. He told me that he also ordered some chicken and pizza. It will be delivered to my apartment. I was really glad that I already cleaned my apartment yesterday. It didn't look too dirty when Hyunsuk hyung arrived. It's not that I'm not a clean person. But there's some days I can't even do anything after I reach home for weeks and just leave my apartment as it is for days because of work. These days, I still manage to clean my apartment at least 3 times a week. I'm so glad that I managed to do so.

It's very rare that Hyunsuk hyung would hang out at my place. It has been only 2 times he has come here. Once because there's plumbing maintenance at his place and the other time because he wanted to give me some fruits that he got from his parents after they went for holiday. Including today, it has been 3 times Hyunsuk hyung came to my apartment. He never stayed for too long before. And now, he has been here for almost half an hour already. I am happy to have Hyunsuk hyung here in my apartment. Because I can look at him more. But still, it makes me worried if I will ever do anything stupid or make Hyunsuk hyung hate me. Not like I've planned to do anything. But just, who knows?

"Say cheese, Jihoon-ah," Hyunsuk hyung said while holding the camera at me.

"Don't waste your camera's memory, hyung. There's nothing interesting in my apartment," I told him but smiled anyway at the camera. "Didn't you take too much just for testing the camera?"

"It's not like I can't delete it," Hyunsuk hyung said. He checked the pictures he took. Yeah. It is just testing. It's not like he'll keep the random pictures in his precious camera anyway. I'm just being stupid for worrying about it. Someone rang the doorbell of my apartment. Before I could walk out from the kitchen, Hyunsuk hyung stood up. "It's chicken and pizza. I'll get it,"

"Oh," I just watched Hyunsuk hyung walk toward the door to pick up the delivery. I can't help myself but to smile while watching him walking cutely like that, in my apartment. I quickly shook my head and stopped smiling. Hyunsuk hyung would freak out if he saw me smiling foolishly like that.

"Let's eat, Jihoonie," Hyunsuk called me in his usual baby-talk tone. I just followed him to the living room. Hyunsuk hyung arranged the chicken and the pizza on the table. Good thing that I haven't had my dinner yet. Hyunsuk hyung ordered a lot. He also put the beer cans on the table. "Ugh! I really want to have beers today,"

"Then, why didn't you join them? I heard that they're going to grab a drink at the restaurant that you are quite familiar with," I said. I remembered some of the people who were with Hyunsuk hyung at the subway station talking to each other about the restaurant they're going to. I heard that they also planned to order meat. Hyunsuk hyung loves grilled meat a lot. Did they not discuss it with Hyunsuk hyung? I'm pretty sure that he won't miss it if he knows they are going to have meat.

"I don't really like the boss. He always uses his position to make the other staff do things for him. He doesn't really care about the staff or the models at all. As long as we can complete the photoshoot, then it's fine. No matter how hard it is on the other staff or members," Hyunsuk hyung said. "It's going to be the last time I'm working with them. I don't really want to spend more of my precious time to breath the same air as him,"

"Oh," I just nodded. "You've worked hard today, hyung,"

"I have been working hard everyday. You should tell it everyday to me," Hyunsuk hyung said before he bottomed the can that he had just opened. "Thank you anyway,"

"I'll tell you everyday if you want to," I said.

"Nah. You don't have to," Hyunsuk hyung said. He opened another can of beer and started to drink it. Hyunsuk hyung kept on drinking can after can while also eating the foods he ordered. I just ate some slices of pizza and some chicken. I didn't want to drink the beer because I don't know what I would do if I ever got drunk. I'm not a weak drinker and I don't really know about my drinking capacity because I always stopped before I could get drunk. But with Hyunsuk hyung here, I just don't want to do anything that I will regret afterwards.

Hyunsuk hyung talks a lot when he's drinking. He always has things to complain about every time we go out for a drink. And I'll just listen to everything every time we do. Just now, Hyunsuk hyung just complained about how his neighbor keeps on playing loud metal music at a very random time. It always disturbs his sleep or when he's doing his work. The next thing he complained about is how a client keeps on ordering his partner around when he was asked to take their pre wedding photos.

Hyunsuk hyung has always been like that ever since high school. He also used to get into fights because of these issues back then. He disliked seeing people who treat others badly. He believes that people should be kind to everyone so it won't be hard for them to get help whenever they need it.

"The food is running out. Should I order tteokbokki?" Hyunsuk hyung asked. "Do you have more beers? I don't think we have enough beers,"

"Hyung. That's enough. You ate too much already. And you drank almost everything. You'll get an upset stomach and a bad hangover tomorrow," I said. I took away the chopsticks he's holding and the can that is already half empty.

"Jiyunyang," Hyunsuk hyung whined.

"No more, hyung," I said. I started to clean the empty cans around him and throw away the food packages. When I came back to wipe the table, Hyunsuk hyung was already lying down on the floor. "Hyung. Don't sleep here. Go sleep in the bedroom,"

"Don't bother me. I want to sleep," Hyunsuk hyung whined.

"You'll catch a cold like this," I said.

"Go home, Chyun~"

"This is my home, Hyunsuk hyung," I sighed. Usually when we drink out, we can only go home when Hyunsuk hyung is in this state. Because Hyunsuk hyung won't stop drinking as long as he can. I always need to piggyback him home because he doesn't even want to wake up when he already falls asleep after drinking. I walked toward my bedroom and set the bed before I carried Hyunsuk hyung inside. I lay him on the bed very carefully. He didn't even bother when I moved him to the bedroom. I walked back to the kitchen to continue cleaning the waste. After I finished, I sat on the couch in the living room. Staring blankly at the television screen.

I let out a heavy sigh. It was fine for me to have a crush on Hyunsuk hyung for the past few years. But why lately, it has been tiring? The feeling I had is just too hard for me to hold it in for some reason. At the same time, I don't want to lose him. I don't want to lose Hyunsuk hyung. I don't want our relationship to ever change just because of me and my stupid feelings. But what if Hyunsuk hyung didn't mind about it? But still it will be awkward for me even though he's okay with it. It's not like he'll accept my confession and suddenly become my boyfriend or something. I sighed again.

I walked toward my bedroom where Hyunsuk hyung is currently sleeping. I stared at his face. He makes the cutest expression when he's spacing out and sleeping. But still, his happy expression is the best. I keep on staring at his face. I lost track of time. When I realized, it's already midnight. It has been almost half an hour of me staring at sleeping Hyunsuk hyung. What a creep I am?

"I like you too much, I guess?" I sighed again. I moved my face closer to Hyunsuk hyung's before I pressed my lips on his forehead for a few seconds. I am still struggling with my inner self to not hug him or kiss him anywhere else right now. There's a lot I wanted to do but, no. I can't. Hyunsuk hyung is too precious to me. "Sleep tight, Hyunsuk hyung,"