Ordinary Confession | HoonSuk [✓]

11

“I’m screwed,” I said. I saw a doughnut with spiderman design in the display box on the counter. I just noticed that I haven’t contacted Hyunsuk hyung since last Saturday, the day we watched the movie together. The same day I accidentally confessed to him but quickly covered it up. It’s awkward. I didn’t even confess to him for real but I can feel the awkwardness in the air. I saw that Hyunsuk hyung updated his SNS with work related stuff. It seems like he’s too busy too for him to contact me. Well, it’s me who always reached out for him first. I realized that I’m not that important to Hyunsuk hyung from the start. But after I accidentally confessed to him last Saturday, it made me feel unimportant to Hyunsuk hyung even more.

“Please pack me all the Spiderman doughnuts,” a customer who’s standing beside me asked the worker. I turned toward the customer before I watched the worker put the doughnuts in the box.

“What are you watching?” Junkyu asked. Me and Junkyu just finished attending a seminar around here. And the bakery we are currently at is one that got viral earlier this year. That’s why we decided to drop by and buy something for our colleagues. I’m still watching the customer that bought the Spiderman doughnuts. She walked out from the store after she paid for the doughnuts. I couldn’t help but to keep thinking about Hyunsuk hyung now. I wanted to talk to Hyunsuk hyung again but it just felt weird for me to suddenly text him. Why am I walking as if I didn’t randomly text Hyunsuk hyung asking what he’s doing before? But, it was before I accidentally told him what I actually feel toward him. What if he thought that it’s an actual confession? Technically, it is an actual confession but I don’t want to confess yet. At least not now. Or maybe never.

“Should I just die now?” I really shouldn’t let it slip from my mouth. Wait! I looked up when I felt like the worker was watching me. And I’m right. She’s looking at me with a shocked look. Did I think out loud again?

“Just for your reminder, Jujutsu Kaisen's new movie is going to air in South Korea in the next 2 months and GD X Taeyang is going to have a comeback next month,” Junkyu said. Hearing those from him, I really did just think out loud. The worker in front of me probably heard me saying that, that’s why she looked shocked.

“Thank you for the reminder,” I told Junkyu. I bowed a little to the worker who was still watching me with a concerned expression. I felt bad for making her worried.

“Is this all?” the other worker at the counter asked after Junkyu put everything he just grabbed on the counter. Junkyu counts on the pastries, maybe to make sure he gets everything for everyone in our office.

“I think this is all. Oh. Can you pack up that spiky black thing separately? It’s matcha, right? The green thing in the middle?” Junkyu asked.

“Yes. It’s dark chocolate with matcha sauce,” the worker said. “Is that all?”

“What about you?” Junkyu asked me.

“I don’t know,” I looked around. My eyes stopped at the pretzels that they just took out from the kitchen. I should buy Hyunsuk hyung those. I remembered that he liked those back then in high school. But after the shop where he regularly bought the pretzel closed, Hyunsuk hyung stopped eating pretzels because he said that pretzels from other shops are no good. This bakery is quite well known for their pastries and other deserts. So, the pretzel probably could reach Hyunsuk hyung’s expectation, right? “I want those pretzels. Please pack me 3 and one. So, four in total,”

“Alright. Anything else?” the worker asked.

“No. That’s all,” I said. Junkyu pulled out the company’s card to pay for the pastries and desserts he grabbed. After paying, we waited for the taxi. Because it's still considered as we're working, and we're going back to the company, the company will cover every single expense. Including this expensive taxi ride. If we need to pay for everything, we definitely will take the bus or subway because it's way cheaper. "Did you mess up with your date?"

"What date?" I asked him back.

"The movie is on Saturday. I even cover for you for the meeting that you are supposed to attend so you don't have to cancel the movie date. And you just mess it up?" Junkyu scoffed.

"I never said that it was a mess up," I said.

"How long did you think I knew you? How long have we been working together?" Junkyu asked. "I can definitely tell that you did something that made you get into an awkward situation with your friend. Why? You finally confessed to him or something?"

"It's not like I actually confessed," I said. But then I just realized, how did he know?

"If you're going to ask me how did I know, it's either I'm gifted enough to know about it or it's you just being too transparent," Junkyu said.

"Oh,"

After that, we're back at the company. I need to prepare some reports while Junkyu needs to attend to a client. After I finished everything and tidied up my table, I saw the pretzel that I bought earlier. I almost forgot about it. Should I just go to Hyunsuk hyung's house to give him this? I tried it earlier right after we reached the company. I'm quite sure that Hyunsuk hyung will like the taste and texture of this pretzel.  It's similar to the pretzel that Hyunsuk hyung used to buy a lot back then.

"Going home?" Junkyu asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Don't forget to talk to that friend. It's better if you're honest about your feelings," Junkyu said. He patted my shoulder before he walked away. Yeah. I should talk to Hyunsuk hyung.

I keep on typing and erasing the message that I wanted to send to Hyunsuk hyung. I didn’t know what words I should actually send to him so as not to make the situation between us even more awkward. Or is it just me who feels awkward? Without realizing it, the bus that I took almost reached the bus stop near Hyunsuk hyung’s apartment complex. I step out of the bus as soon as the bus stops at the bus station. And even now, I haven’t sent any messages to Hyunsuk hyung. Should I just call him? I’m already near his apartment anyway.

I dialed his number and waited for Hyunsuk hyung to answer the call while walking toward Hyunsuk hyung’s apartment complex. After waiting for a while, he still didn’t answer the call. I tried again. But Hyunsuk hyung rejected my call. I stared at my phone. Hyunsuk hyung rejected my call? Did he not want to talk to me anymore? Is it really awkward between us now? I knew it. I shouldn't have even confessed. But, let’s try to call him one more time. If he rejects it again, that means I’m really screwed.

"Hyunsuk hyung?" I asked as soon as he answered the call. Thank God! He finally answered the call and didn’t reject it. He probably pressed the wrong icon? Who knows.

"Jihoon-ah. Can you just text me? I'll reply to your messages. Okay? I'm ending the call," Hyunsuk hyung said as if he's hiding from something. Or is he in a meeting? Hyunsuk hyung ended the call right after he said that. He talked almost like he's whispering. Is he that busy? I texted him asking if he's alright.

Just like he said earlier, he's going to reply to my messages. He replied to me right away. He said that he's fine. He just can't talk on the phone. I asked him if I could meet him at his apartment. Just after a few seconds, he replied to me with an emoticon of NO. He said that he's not at home and if I really want to see him, he'll try to find some time tomorrow. But I’m already in front of his apartment building. I sent an OK message to him. But before I leave, I’ll just put these pretzels on his door knob first.

I literally froze, I couldn’t move my body when I saw someone walk out from Hyunsuk hyung’s apartment unit from where I'm currently standing. It’s a woman walking out from Hyunsuk hyung’s place. Just a few seconds after that, Hyunsuk hyung walked out, waving at the female who’s leaving. Didn’t Hyunsuk hyung just say that he’s not at home? And who’s the guy standing there in front of Hyunsuk hyung’s door? Why did Hyunsuk hyung lie to me? Who’s that female who just walked out from his place?