Ordinary Confession | HoonSuk [✓]

18

Seven days. It has been seven days since the last time I saw Hyunsuk hyung. Three days since I saw Hyunsuk hyung with the alleged girlfriend. The only girlfriend he’s trying to hide from me up till now. Or probably the first girlfriend he’s trying to hide from me, more to come? Who knows. And now, he has been avoiding me. Whenever I called him, he never answered my calls. He didn’t reject the call either. He did answer my texts. But still. From the way he replies to me, I know that he’s trying to end the conversation as soon as possible. 

Why is he trying so hard to avoid me now? Is it because I saw him with his girlfriend that he wanted to hide? Or is it because of the kiss? I just realized that we haven’t talked about it. It has been more than a week. Hyunsuk hyung said that he’ll talk to me later. How much later? How long do I have to wait now? I don’t want to ask because I don’t want to make him hated me. Like, what kind of friends kissing each other? I’ve been demanding more after he kissed me that night. Probably he hated it. Is it possible that he forgot about it? He didn’t have the memory of kissing me?

It has been seven days since Hyunsuk hyung was not at home whenever I visited his apartment. It seems like he has been busy these days. For the past few days, I asked Hyunsuk if he’s free. And I wanted to see him because we haven’t seen each other for days. We used to talk on the phone if we couldn’t hang out with each other before. But these days, he doesn't even want to answer my calls. So, I decided to go to his apartment to visit him myself. He replied to me that he’s not going home whenever I asked him if he’s home. 

Because of the incident before, when the first time I saw Yena coming out from Hyunsuk hyung’s place right after he said that he’s not home, I want to confirmed it myself. I went to his place everyday after I asked him if he’s home. Just to make sure that he’s not just purposely don’t want to see me. But he’s really not home. Even if he’s not home, he’s still avoiding me, right? By not coming home. Because je know that I will definitely come to his place to see him. He doesn’t want to see me anymore? That’s why he’s not home for a week?

It’s also possible that he’s at Yena’s place, right? He probably just wants to spend more time with his girlfriend. But didn’t she go somewhere? Overseas maybe? Because I remember that Hyunsuk hyung mentioned about her flight last time when I met them at the convenience store. She's probably already back, right? That’s why Hyunsuk hyung wanted to spend more time with her. I probably just need to wait more. Hyunsuk hyung said that he’ll talk about it later. So, he probably will. Hyunsuk hyung I know will always keep his words.

But I couldn’t help but to be anxious. I’m worried that I won't be able to see Hyunsuk hyung ever again. What should I do if Hyunsuk hyung doesn’t want to see me anymore? I really shouldn’t kiss him that night. Or, I probably just shouldn’t keep my feelings. I should have just confessed to Hyunsuk hyung that day. That should be better than just kissing him when he’s drunk. But he kissed me first didn’t he? But he’s drunk, Park Jihoon. You;re the sober one, asking for more. And you’re not stopping just after one more kiss. You kissed him for an hour. Or is it more? Hyunsuk hyung even fell asleep while we’re kissing that night.

Blood suddenly rushed to my face while I’m recalling that night. It’s nice. Kissing is nice. Probably because I’m kissing the person I like. Or is it because Hyunsuk hyung is a good kisser? He has been in a few relationships before. I haven’t seen him kissing any of his girlfriends. But I’m pretty sure that Hyunsuk hyung won’t even kiss his girlfriends in public. Hyunsuk hyung is a type that cherish his relationship a lot. And definitely not showing off excessive skinships or sweet gestures in public. He probably is not really comfortable doing so. Is that why his relationship didn’t last long? 

The longest relationship he has been in was like 4 months? Right? Now that I notice the problem, I should talk to him about it so he’ll improve it for the better. But he never really talks to me about his relationships anyway. Hyunsuk hyung always introduces his girlfriend to me first before anyone else. But because I didn’t show any interest in his relationships, or any romantic relationship in general, that’s why Hyunsuk hyung never talked to me about it. He looked happy when I told him that I have a crush. Probably he has been waiting for the time he can talk to me about things like this. But then, I told him that I haven’t confessed to my crush yet.