Ordinary Confession | HoonSuk [✓]

19

I stared at my phone. It’s ringing. The caller ID on the screen is Hyunsuk hyung’s name. The ringtone is the one I set specially for Hyunsuk hyung. Hyunsuk hyung called me. I am currently receiving a call from Hyunsuk hyung. After weeks he haven’t calling first or answering my call, finally he called me. It’s like a dream. I couldn't believe my own eyes. It has been 3 days since the last time I saw him. The last time we saw each other was before he left for the Philippines. I took a deep breath before pressing the green icon on the screen.

“What took you so long for you to answer the phone?” Hyunsuk hyung asked as soon as I answered the call.

“I just couldn’t believe that you called me,” I said.

“I’ve told you that we’ll talk after I’m back,” Hyunsuk hyung said. “I just ordered pizza. I can’t finish it myself, you know?”

“I’m on my way,” I said.

“Okay. See you later. Just come in. I’m currently working. Okay?” Hyunsuk hyung said.

“Alright,” I said. Hyunsuk hyung ended the call after he said bye. I stared at my phone screen again. Hyunsuk hyung called me. He’s back now. It’s the time now. I’m going to confess to him now. For the past 3 days, I’ve been preparing myself to accept any possible outcome that will be after I confessed to Hyunsuk hyung. If he is really going to reject me and doesn't want to see me anymore, I’ll just accept that. I just want him to know about my real feelings toward him. And it’s really hard for me to keep all these feelings in. But if he only rejects my confession but still willing to be friends, then I’ll try to move on..

Or pretending to move on. I don’t know. I’ll think about it later if this happens. But I’m going to try to accept anything that possibly happened after I confess. I looked around. Didn’t I just plan to clean my house and do my laundry? Whatever. I’ll do that later. I’m getting ready to go to Hyunsuk hyung’s place. He told me just to come in. So, I pressed the passcode of his apartment and opened the door. No one is around. But Hyunsuk hyung’s favorite shoes are right in front of the door. I walked inside and walked toward Hyunsuk hyung’s working room. He’s there.

For some reason, I feel emotional. There’s an urge for me to just cry right now, just by looking at his back. I miss him so much. It's not like we didn’t see each other for weeks or months or years. In fact, we did meet a few days ago. But It’s different. Maybe because I know that today, our relationship might change 180 degrees. And it makes me feel emotional.

“You came,” Hyunsuk hyung said. He took a glance at me before continuing to look at the screen. Continuing his work.

“You called,” I said. Hyunsuk hyung scoffed.

“I’ll finish touching up this one. Can you take the pizza when it’s already here?” Hyunsuk hyung asked.

“Sure,” I said. But after that, I just stood right behind Hyunsuk hyung. Should I just tell him now? Should I confess now? I don’t know what and when is the right time for me to confess anyway. For now, I’ll just stare at him as much as I can. Because there’s a possibility that I can’t do this openly anymore.

“You look like you have a lot to say, Park Jihoon,” Hyunsuk hyung said after he glanced at me a bit. “What is it? I’m listening. Is it about your crush?”

“Yeah,” I said. I saw Hyunsuk hyung stopped a bit but continued afterward.

“What is it?” Hyunsuk hyung asked.

“You know that I always asked you if you’re free, right? It’s actually not that. It’s not the actual thing I wanted to say to you. Whenever I asked you if you’re free or not. Whenever I asked you if I could have a moment. It’s not that. The moment I asked you those, I wanted to see you right away. That I’m going to meet you right away no matter what. I know that I shouldn’t feel like this but I wanna see you because I really like you, hyung. More than just friends. More than anything. More than words can express how much I like you,” I said in a breath, I guess.

My heart keeps pounding so fast. I barely can tell if I’m breathing normally. But Hyunsuk hyung didn’t seem to give any response. He’s still doing his work. Did he not hear me? He said that he’s listening. But did I actually say what I wanted to say? I used to always think out loud, saying what I was thinking. This is probably the reverse one. That I thought I already said it but it’s just in my mind. I’m confused.

“All of my words toward you. You’re doing great with your work. I like your work. I like having you around. I miss you. I want to see you. I wanna hug you. I want to keep listening to your voice. You look cool when you’re working. You’re the coolest guy I ever met. You’re a great guy. Every single word. I really sincerely mean it. I want you to know how much I feel about you. How much you mean to me in my life. And I want you to feel appreciated,” I said. “It was never an easy thing for me to say to those who know how much I like you. Because I am afraid that my feelings will leak along with my words. And it will make you uncomfortable,”

Still. No response. Is this his way to say that he’s not accepting my feelings? Or still feel that I’m joking around? Should I give up now? Should I just leave?

“Since when?” Hyunsuk hyung asked,

“Huh?” Hyunsuk hyung turned to me.

“You said that you like me. Since when did you like me?” Hyunsuk hyung asked.

“I- I'm not sure. Probably since the time you greeted me on the soccer club practice. I don't know but whenever you come to me and greet me first, my heart flutters. I can't even control it anymore," I said. "Sometimes, it hurts. It's too overwhelming,"

"So.. You're going to stop now?" Hyunsuk hyung asked.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked him back.

"Liking me. You said that it hurts and is too overwhelming. You're going to stop liking me now?" Hyunsuk hyung asked.

"If you ask me to. I will stop," I said. "And now you can stop trying to hide your relationship from me that I already confessed now. You can tell me just to stop having what I'm feeling toward you because you already in a relationship now,"

"Too bad. Because I am actually still single now. Because I like you too," Hyunsuk hyung said before he turned back to his table and continued to do his work. Wait… What? What did he just say? Did I misheard it?

"Pardon?"

"What?"

"No. I thought I heard something. I'm sorry,"

"Something? Like what? Like 'too bad. Because I am actually still single now. Because I like you too'?" Hyunsuk hyung asked without even looking at me.

"Wait! Really?" I asked. "W-wait. What about Yena?"

"You mean Choi Yena? The girl you saw with me last time? She's my cousin," Hyunsuk hyung said. "She has a crush on you since the first time she saw my IG post with you. She even follows you on IG. She keeps asking me to arrange a date for her with you. But because I like you, obviously I won't do that. And I won't even let her meet you because I know she'll try to flirt with you and I don't even want to see it. Because there's a possibility that you might fall for her,"

Wait a minute. Why did I feel like my brain isn't functioning properly? Like… What the hell did I just hear? Is this a prank or something?

"But, what to do? Park Jihoon wants to stop liking me already," Hyunsuk hyung sang while still doing his work.

"Hyunsuk hyung," I called his name.

"Hm?"

"I'm going to kiss you right now," I said.

"Really?" Hyunsuk hyung asked while still, not looking at me. I sighed and walked toward him. I stand behind his chair, slowly pull his chin upward, making him face up. I gently placed my lips on his. Hyunsuk hyung didn't seem to refuse it but I can feel his lips curling up against mine. I pulled out after letting our lips touch for a few seconds. "Yah. Aren't you going to kiss me properly?"

"Eh?"

Hyunsuk hyung stands up and faces me. I saw him smirking before he pushed me to the couch in that room and kissed me on my lips. I return the kiss, kissing him as I let out the desperateness I've been feeling for all these years because of my feelings toward him. There's so much I wanted to ask. But I'll just ask him later. I want this. I want to keep this moment right now.